The 8 year old nephew: So my friend has this game he told me about.

Me: Oh yeah? What’s that?

Nephew: It’s called Spank the Monkey.

(Blink. Blink.)

Me: Spank the Monkey? Was he joking with you?

Nephew: No, he told me it’s really fun.

Me: Um…did he ask you to play it with him? What did he tell you about it?

Nephew: He said you can get like a million points if you get to the bonus round.

(Blink. Blink.)

Nephew: It’s on the computer.

Me: (Wiping sweat from every pore) Okay then. Okay. Well, you should know that Spank the Monkey is a slang term that’s not very nice. So be careful when you say it.

Nephew: What does it mean?

Me: Well…it means masturbate.

(Blink. Blink.)

Me: Do you know what that means?

Nephew: No.

Me: It’s when a boy plays with his penis.

(Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink.)

Nephew: So can I go and play GameBoy?

Me: Yeah, why don’t you do that. That’s a great idea.