NaBloPoMo, or National Blog Posting Month is a cool idea, in which its participants are posting every day in November with the chance to improve their writing, gain readers, and win valuable prizes.
Huge apologies to those readers who are finding Mom101 through some sort of NaBloPoMo randomizer, looking at my last posting date and thinking, that cheat! That fraud! However I regret that I am not one of these participants nor have I ever intended to be.
I’m perhaps as busy as I ever have been, which is exascerbated by the first trimester narcolepsy that’s been stealing many formerly productive hours from me each day. Kristen and I have been swamped with an incredible but time-consuming opportunity for Cool Mom Picks. Oh, plus there’s that pesky full-time day job which is sending me on a weeklong business trip to sunny Orlando on Tuesday–exciting “I miss my baby” and “there’s nothing on pay-per-view” posts to follow.
So while I would love nothing more than to dazzle you daily with my overuse of double-dashes and italics, I regret that this is not possible right now.
Although the whole exercise certainly has got me thinking.
Living in New York, if I had the ability to put an illustrated gun to people’s heads and force them to do something every day this month, I’m not entirely sure it would be blog posting. Here are some alternatives I would consider endorsing:
TaShoDa(UsSo)Mo
Take a Shower Daily (and Use Soap) Month.
Required of all cab drivers. Because if you have ever lived in New York for any period of time, then you know the feeling of hanging your head out of the rear window of a cab in sub-zero temperatures for forty block, which is preferable to braving the unbearable putrescence inside the car.
SaThaSoHoDoMo
Say Thank You When Someone Holds Open the Door Month
I am not a professional doorman. As such, when I am holding open the door of the movie theater, assume it is so that I can enter it myself, not so that 87 of you can stream out while I stand shivering in the cold, missing the previews.
StaGiPreSeaAsMo
Stand Up and Give The Pregant Woman a Seat, Asshole, Month.
Violators will be forced to sit in the one subway car at rush hour with no air conditioning. See also: NaTaShoDa(UsSo)Mo
RePriGroMo
Reasonable Price on Groceries Month
In which a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese is not allowed to top $1.19, even if it’s available the only Tribeca grocery for blocks.
CleAfDoBraMo
Clean Up After Your Dog, Braniac, Month
Here’s a secret–when you let your dog crap in a snowbank? It doesn’t melt along with the snow.
NyPoNoNewSoMo
The New York Post Is Not a News Source Month
For every page of the New York Post one reads–sports, gossip and comics excluded–the reader must also read three stories from a credible news source. The success of this program could lead to a nationwide push with NaFoNoNewSoMo – National Fox is Not a News Source Month, in which Fox News-viewing drones will be forced to watch BBC World News while loofa-ing Bill O’Reilly’s private parts.
WeGoYoLiRaMo
We Got it, You Like Rap Month
If you’d like to blow out your eardrums with the latest unintelligible, mysogynistic offering from someone I’m not cool enough to have heard of, feel free to use headphones. Not your car speakers, not with your windows down, and certainly not after midnight. Some of us have sleeping children. And taste.
FuhGeFreMo
“Fugeddaboudit”- Free Month
In which no NYC tourist is permitted to say fugeddaboudit as an imitation of Brooklyn dialect. You wanna hear people say fugeddaboudit? Hop a PATH train to Jersey. You’ll be in heaven.
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So, what would you like to see instituted this month?
51 shards of brilliance… read them below or add one
This is the funniest freakin’ post I’ve read in forever. You’re gold.