The following is a transcript of an actual phone call last night, taped surreptitiously and obtained through purely illegal means. Take that, Novak.
SFX: Ring, ring
Female Voice: Hello, Nancy Pelosi.
(silence)
Female Voice: Hello, Nancy Pelosi.
Male Voice: Uh…
(long pause)
Female voice: Is someone there?
Male Voice: Land shark.
Female Voice: Excuse me?
Male Voice: Avon calling.
Female Voice: Who is this?
Male Voice: Uh…Do you have Prince Albert in a can? Because um…oh wait, is that how it goes? No wait…
Female Voice: Mr. President? Is that you?
Male Voice: No! I mean, Land Shark. Did I do that one already?
Female Voice 2: (Quieter, off the receiver) Oh stop it George. Just stop it.
Female Voice: Mr. President?
Male Voice: Is your refrigerator running? Better catch it. Ha!
Female Voice: Mr. President, I know that’s you. I can hear Laura in the background.
Female Voice 2: Just say it George.
Male Voice: (whiny, childlike, insincere) Congratulaaaaaatiooooooons.
Female Voice: Well thank you Mr. President. I know there’s been some tension between us in the past but I certainly hope that…
Male Voice: Hey! Van Wilder is on the comedy channel. Gotta go.
SFX: Click
Female Voice: Mr. President? Mr. President?
52 shards of brilliance… read them below or add one
for an encore, can we eavesdrop in on the conversation between Rick Santorum and Bob Casey last Tuesday? because in my head, that one’s hilarious, too! (sigh. such a dreamy election day, n’est pas?) xox
Thank you! Too darn funny.