It’s funny how when death comes, it’s not what you think it will be.
This is it for Desi. Poor cat.
I’ve joked about her in the past and what a shitty pet she’s generally been, what with the hissing and the hairball puke all over the rug and the trying to eat anyone who comes through the door. But for 16 years and 7 months she’s been my shitty pet.
Saturday morning I took the old girl to the vet, after realizing she hadn’t touched her food (unheard of) in ages and seemingly of nowhere, she’s become just a wisp of her former gloriously obese self. She’s not quite walking straight, her fur is spiking out in unnatural angles, and she’s certainly lost her feisty streak. When I nudged her off the coffee table, she didn’t let out that trademark toxic hiss–just stumbled and landed on her side before scuttling away, defeated.
And then there’s the matter of the fist-sized growth on her back.
It’s time.
I walked back into the apartment, trailing big clumps of black cat hair behind me as I confirmed the prognosis with Nate. The doctor had given her a steroid shot to ease the pain until we could make the decision to let her go and that decision should be made sooner than later.
Never did I expect to be this emotional, to burst into tears as I relayed the information. I suppose I have spent a lot of time thinking what a burden Desi was, and really very little thinking what things would be like without her. How I’d miss those nights alone in bed when, like a magical stuffed animal who comes to life just for a child, Desi would curl up on my chest, lick my neck and purr herself to sleep, releasing the sweet inner kitten she revealed only ever to me.
I set down in the duffel with which I had transported the cat, while Thalia, who loves every unlovable beast on this planet, squealed and scurried up to pet her. As if Desi were still fat and healthy. As if she had ever reciprocated Thalia’s affections even one bit. Thalia never saw her as others did. Thalia never questioned whether Desi was worthy of her love–she just loved her.
“Desi, doctor,” she said as she pressed her face against Desi’s mangy fur in an that cheek-hug that toddler’s do.
“That’s right, Thalia. Desi is feeling sick and so we took her to the doctor.”
“Desi, doctor.”
“That’s right.”
“Desi alllllll better.”
“Yes, sweetie. Soon she’ll be all better.”
Probably tomorrow.
Better days
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I’m so sorry. The events of those 16 years have encompassed a whole lot. I’m sure Desi has enjoyed all of them especially because she was a real character.
I’ll be thinking of you all. This has got to be one of the hardest things to do as a pet owner, but they do let you know when it is time. And when it is, we, like you are here, have to do what’s best for them. No matter how much we will miss them.That’s the really hard part.
I’m so sorry about your kitty; the crankiest ones in public can be the most loving ones in private.
Of course it hurts. She may be crabby, but she’s been a member of your family for 16 years. It’s tough to say goodbye to someone you’ve lived with for so long.I had a mean old cat who only had moments of sweetness. He bit everyone. But when he had to be put down for renal failure, I cried. Even with a scar on my foot left by him on a particularly crabby day, I still cried.
We had to put our cat of 18 years, Mr. Kitty, to sleep last October, and it was by a country mile the saddest day(s) of my life. My wife and I have been together since 1988 and this was the first time she’d seen me cry. I’ll make sure to have a beer and a tuna steak in rememberence of Desi.
Poor kitty. I’m so sorry.
I’m sorry. Losing a pet is never easy.
I’m so sorry. It’s amazing how much our hearts love our pets. I know just how you feel, and I wish you comfort during this time.
Sniff. I’m sorry about Desi.
Oh, hon, I am so sorry. Been there with my dog of 11 years, longer than I had known my husband at the time. It is so tough.Take care of yourself, and blessings on Desi’s cantankerous soul.
I hate the short life span of pets. I’m sorry to hear that it’s Desi’s time.
Oh, I’m sorry Liz.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I didn’t even know I loved my mom’s cat until I had to go in to have her put down. She was 17 years old… and I don’t even think she was a cat, we’ve all decided she was probably at least part badger. I felt bad when the vet went to get me tissues. I kept thinking to myself “The vet thinks she’s putting down my best friend. I don’t even LIKE this cat!” I still cried, it’s still hard.
Aww. You made me cry and I don’t even like cats. Poor Desi. Poor Liz.
I’m sorry, very sorry.
I’m so sorry. I’ll be thinking of you and your family.
Sorry, Liz. No one imagines this day, but for pets, it always seems to come too soon.
Oh gosh, I’m so very very sorry… Even if the pet is evil incarnate, it is still can hurt terribly.I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow.
oh i’m so sorry to hear about this. we had a similar story with our long-ago black cat. nothing prepares you for how hard it will be. i was flattened. love to you all.
Just last week we had to make a similar decision with our Mell. Similar emotions involved as well. I don’t miss the constant vomiting and the stray poops that found their way around our house (poor constipated boy). But I sure do miss his obnoxious have to be in my lap or sleep on my head at night antics.Our 4 year old is still asking if Mell is coming home, even though we repeat every time that ‘no honey, Mell was sick and died.’ Also not comfortable with the heaven bit, although my husband did tell him that. So sorry for your loss, please know there are many of us out there that understand.
So very sory to hear about your cat Liz. Losing a member of the family like Desi is never easy. Big hugs.
Hey Liz – i’ll admit to not reading your blog daily, but i can relate to the loss of a loved pet. Two summers ago, my beloved dogs Omega (at age 7), and Mutty (age 15), died within six weeks of each other, and it’s still devastating, especially with Omega who got sick despite her youth and we watched her fight to live before it became apparent it was time to end her suffering.thoughts and best wishes to you and your family…
Oh hon, I am so sorry. I had a cat like that… everyone else thought he was awful but with me, in private, he was my big sweetie. I lost him three years ago. It’s funny how the ones we are bonded with are the ones we grumble about most (and the cats grumble, too). You being with her probably made all the difference.
I’m so sorry. I know one day I’ll have to say goodbye to my sweet Simba, he’s been with me for 10 years now.