Dear, beloved readers, I tried.
Oh how I tried to get you one single shot of The Clooney. I had the best post e-ver in my head had I achieved it but…nope. Nada. The closest I got was his stunt double ambling down the street, head down, doing the broken rib walk. He was working it for sure, and for a second I thought my heart would stop–until I realized it was indeed not The Cooney but a mediocre imitation. Magarine in a tub to The Clooney’s fine, creamery butter.
I tried and I failed you. Forgive me. But I only have so many hours in a day for stalking.
I did have the opportunity to see Brad Pitt–his Navigator pulled up to dump him off at the location, but then a cluster of girls with cameras swarmed his car so fast, my first feeling was not “run!” but “poor guy.” I can’t imagine a life where you can’t even get out of your car in brownstone Brooklyn without being attacked by screaming Brooklyn College students.
I hesitated–and missed the shot. Also I hit the wrong button on my camera. Tracey Clark I ain’t.
I did see his pant leg as it disappeared through the door though. Whoo.
And the whole time, I was stuck with Nate in my head telling me I was the biggest, hugest, most embarrassing grade-A dork in the world for even considering spending more time at the set than it took to walk through on my way to CVS to pick up paper towels. Although I wasn’t as bad as the neighbor who stumbled on the set, then returned moments later in better clothes and full make-up as if Joel Coen would spot her in the crowd, amd exclaim You! You are the woman we have been looking for to shoot a love scene with Brad Pitt RIGHT THIS MINUTE. We tried to cast for her in cities across the globe for months on end but now…here you are. What are the chances?
So, interested and too-cool-to-be-interested readers, I can only offer you the following Average Album of Celebrity Stalkerdom from my neighborhood’s week-long brush with the A-list.
—-
Edited to add:
48 shards of brilliance… read them below or add one
I don’t want to be the first to admit that I love this – but I will.
uh oh, eat your heart out fellow stalker. chloe and i got a full view, twice yesterday. he was sitting around a LOT on the aforepictured chair, right on the way to the playground. truth be told, it was anti-climactic after all that hoping. my friend get the prize though, for walking up to clooney, tapping him on the arm and saying “um, george, it’s been fun and all standing around watching you, but i’ve got to get to work.” she took one for the team….
Stalking is completely misunderstood.Is Mr. Malkovich getting ready to whip someone? God I love that man.Best stalking story I’ve got is: I sniffed the back of Malcolm McDowell’s head once during the premiere of I’ll sleep when I’m dead (he was sitting in front of me). Yup,that’s all I’ve got. (that and I’m the girl who used to date a roadie for Weird Al – and YES that is the only thing I can brag about – besides my cute kid).
I had no idea you were such a Clooney stalker, Liz! I’ve played basketball with him a few times and I regretfully have to admit that he actually is that damn charming in real life. He’s also got a decent jump shot for a pretty boy!
Oh, bless you. I ran into (literally, with my body) Bruce Willis when I worked in a much-filmed-in building on Michigan Avenue in Chicago. He was as short as I am. That was my last brush with fame.
That Malkovich photo is totally worth missing Clooney. In a bathrobe! On the phone!
What, no graphic of a tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Clooney??(You KNOW how I feel about butter products, Liz. Don’t taunt me this way or I’ll start quoting people at you.)
Damn it! Why couldn’t Clooney walk around in a bath robe. Or even Brad Pitt???? WHY?????Babe, don’t feel bad. I’ll have to tell you about the time I shamelessly stalked Wesley Snipes and Patrick Swayze.
Hey that Malkovich shot is pretty good…but Clooney he ain’t.Good effort!
I so rarely recognize celebs that I have to be impressed by the fact that you knew that was Malkovich in that bathrobe.
I still think all these pics are worth it! Thanks for the scoop!Steph
Forget Clooney…I want to do Malkovich sideways. I don’t know what it is…I have this weird attraction to quirky guys.
The least you could have done was nurse in Clooney’s chair.Now there’s a story.I’m still impressed.
yea, I’ll take Malkovich in a bathrobe – I’m with magpie on that one.
It’s like George Clooney lite: 1/2 the sugar, all the flavor? Yeah, probably not.Love this!
You are a regular Perez Hilton;)
I love this. I think you should go back and have the Thalia stroll up and sit in his chair.
I just snorted Diet Pepsi through my nose when I read the “I can’t believe it’s not George Clooney” comment. HA! I think it’s just awesome that you had such a big deal movie being shot in your backyard! Sweet!
You’ve got mad papparazzi skills.
boy, that kid is really cute! i bet she’ll be a star someday…
my closest encounter is that my baby cousin was held (and pic in the paper) by Nicole Kidman when she was in DC filming something a couple of years ago… yeah no i wasnt there… but hey if a pic of a chair counts so does that!
Hey that cute kid…I swear I saw her somewhere before. Ina newspaper or something, maybe even on the (gasp) internet. See if you can get an autograph.
Aw man! But Malkovich!Delurking for < HREF="http://www.schmutzie.com/2007/09/814-great-mofo-delurk-2007.html" REL="nofollow" TITLE="The Great Mofo Delurk 2007">The Great Mofo Delurk 2007<>.
Oh that is teh awesome! You got a picture of a Coen brother!
Those are still good photos! And hey, let’s hear it for Clooney’s stunt double! The stunt men never get enough credit. (says the wife of a stage combat choreographer)
that made me giggle. my fav is john in the bathrobe. hee hee. thanks for the mention! xo
Clooney schmooney.Did Thalia poop the penny or what? you could leave the ‘lucky penny’ on his chair.
Who needs Clooney when you’ve got Malcovich? OK — so it’s late and I don’t know what I’m saying.
Come to the west village and you can easily stalk the “sex and the city” cast. Little effort required. Although no one as adorable as Clooney or Pitt.
We have a movie shooting in our town, and we saw Kate Hudson’s trailer. It was so exciting….not.
You’ve gone so mainstream. There was a day when John Malkovich would have been enough. Dayanu!
If you had blurred the photo a bit, you could’ve totally passed that off as Clooney…. Darn that auto-focus!!
I so needed this. The laughing. Although, that last image made me vurp a little (margarine crossed with Clooney, uuurgh) but that’s pretty standard these days. The adorablicious kids made up for it.
I’m WAY more stoked that you got a picture of John Malkovich than if you’d gotten one of either Pitt or Clooney. I love me some Malkovich!
Well shoot. At least you have given me the gift of excitement at the next Coen flick with Mr. Clooney. So happy.
HBM: It is rather Last Tango in Paris, isn’t it.
I gotta tell you…I was a tad disappointed with your sad Clooney spotting skills until you posted the pic of that hot mom with her kids at the bottom of the post.She’s yummy.The kids are cute too.
damn that is a pretty good double of clooney there.That’s more brushes with fame than I’ve ever had even if there wasn’t any clooney or pitt action.
Wow. Thalia really favors you in that shot. I’ve never noticed that before.
how fun!pssst. i’m posting a whole foods sponsored giveaway for over $600 value, so come over in the morning
Funny – thanks!
I love it! The whole thing is brilliant. It is a bit magnetic, isn’t it? Having celebrities nearby just does something to a person.Jennifer Aniston is doing a few days of filming in a nearby town, Madras. It’s 26 miles away, but I’m wondering if I have any errands or some reason I should go check out the shops? Something? Anything?Sad, but understandable….
This was all so funny Bossy has to now recover with a long nap in the sunshine.
I think you’re great. That’s all for now.
I laughed hard.
I totally prefer John Malkovich in a bathrobe to George Clooney anyway. So there, Faux George.
The best part of the post was that adorable little girl, and the hot mom with her kids!
But really, Malkovich in his bathrobe on the phone? Score!My husband’s friend from High School works as a set electrician, and we got to watch a scene being filmed for a movie with Dabney Coleman and Bonnie Bedelia in an old courthouse in downtown Detroit. Bonnie Bedelia is teeny weeny in real life, or at least she was 20 years ago. Oh, and my stepbrother is a stuntman, he was in “Jarhead” and is on camera for a few seconds. I love having those tiny claims to fame 
Ya know that more atars are in the philly suburbs right now, like Ryan Gosling Stanley Tucci and Susan Sarandon…they are going to start shooting “The Lovely Bones” in less then 2 weeks in my neighborhood!