Thalia stepped gingerly towards the bassinet to take a look at the week-old baby.
“Nonono! Germs,” my neighbor said, before forcing out the least sincere laugh I’ve ever heard.
“Can I look?” I asked.
“Sure…
Okay, that’s enough.” she admonished before I had focused on much more than his hat. She shooed me away from the blanketed, swaddled, and sealed-for-his-protection newborn.
“C’mon, you know how germ-phobic I am.”
“Germs are good!” I laughed. “Kids need to be exposed to germs!”
“Not now,” she said. “Not yet. No germs.”
But…this is your second child, I thought. You’re supposed to be over this.
Perhaps I’m not the person to be debating her on the subject. Nate and I took both kids out to eat at the local diner (That’s because you’re crazy, my neighbor said) in their first week of life. We let them pet dogs. We let them have their faces licked by those dogs. We allow them to play in (gasp) sandboxes and to (gasp) feed the animals at the petting zoo. And I can’t tell you how many days it’s been since we washed Sage’s pacifier with actual soap.
So okay, maybe we’re on the slightly unsanitary side of the parenting spectrum. But still, isn’t this germ-phobia way out of control?
At Cool Mom Picks we’re pitched all kinds of hand sanitizers, clothes in “naturally germ-resistant fabrics,” BYO placemats, and just this week, big floppy disposable plastic mitts for kids to wear in public bathrooms. Then of course, there’s the ever-popular dangle your baby from the bathroom door while you pee invention.
I’ll just hang here while you do your germ-free thing, mom(For the best riff ever about it, visit Greg’s post at Daddytypes.)
Look, I don’t want to rag too much on these products, though lord knows I could. I know it’s just a bunch of entrepreneurial moms coming up with what they think is an awesome idea, then spurred onto action by friends who agree, Yes! Yes! Why I WOULD happily carry that harness thing around in my bag at all times just in case I have to pee while I’m out with the baby and can’t manage to wash his hands immediately afterwards if, God forbid, he touches anything in the process which will doubtlessly lead to HIV and syphilis and low math scores on the PSATs.
Lest you get the wrong idea, I’m not entirely disgusting. We certainly have the Cleanwell in the diaper bag, and I’m terrified of the communal toys at Bubby’s that seemingly haven’t been scrubbed since the last Bush-led recession.
But am I alone here in thinking that the fear of germs is going to lead to more earlier demises than the germs themselves?
79 shards of brilliance… read them below or add one
even with a kid who was a preemie, i don’t think i was ever germ-crazy…maybe since she is a summer baby? i always asked folks to wash their hands and specifically not hold her if they were oozing goo or something but, meh, it is what it is…i loved the story- we *still* haven’t met our friends baby who was born before christmas because the mama is so paranoid about germs- and she has a daughter our kids age! it is sooo weird and i feel bad for her girl who hasn’t been out of the house (for fear she will bring a germ home) since then!p.s. i used the cart cover since it had a sewn on seat belt (kept the pnut upright) and as a cushion for her for when she’d knock her melon against the cart- also nice when it’s cold outside to take the chill off.
Yep, you’re totally right. Germs are good for us, and we need them to keep our immune systems running well. If we don’t have the little germs to fight on a daily basis, our bodies won’t know what the hell to do when some more impressive germ comes along. Living a germ-free existence is impossible, and those who try to live as aseptically as possible may be risking allergies and more serious illness as a result. We keep things clean, but don’t try to strive for a germ-free household.(Although you’d better bet I wash my hands often when in clinical at the hospital. Hospitals are like the opposite of your neighbor’s nursery – it’s a breeding ground for new and exotic germs.)
Interesting to see this post juxtaposed with the lead contamination post. Who would like to compare the number of children disabled/killed by preventable infection with the number of children disabled/killed by lead contamination?Of course, with lead contamination, it’s cause for righteous fury because we expect someone else to deal with it. But because parents are expected to deal with their own children’s snotty noses and filthy hands, ah well, people are just _way_ too uptight, am I right?
Well, I am a germophobe, even though I believe germs are good and I don’t carry hand-sanitizer around. I’m germophobe-lite, I guess. I would make fun of that contraption but I just never peed in public restrooms when I had babies. Never. Which is probably equally ridiculous.Now as my kids got older I had to learn to just let it go. They go to school, their friends are gross — they like animals, nothing I can do about that. Mostly I manage fine, until we’re in a public restroom. Me and kids and public restroom equals a bad bad bad experience had by all.
I got this card at one of my baby showers for TQ, oh so many years ago. The gist of it was that with the first kid, you’re a total freak and boil every pacifier that has ever touched anything but your baby’s mouth, with the second you just wipe the pacifier off with your shirt if you suspect that tumble onto the floor may have gotten it dirty. And with the third, you just let the dog lick the dirt off of it.I’d have to say that’s fairly accurate, no? I guess your neighbor didn’t get that card
Hey, did anyone hear of soap and water. Really – washing hands is the most important thing… Germaphobe parents who keep their kids away from all germs as a baby explode the first time they go to preschool (a.k.a germ farm).
I have been blog surfing for way way too long tonight (morning?) but this is the first time all night I have actually laughed out loud! (I hope I don’t wake up my sleeping boys.) All I can say is AMEN SISTAH! My twin boys are almost ten months and are only happy when they are crawling and eating the breakfast they dropped on the floor that they didn’t want to eat that morning. So you tell me…. am I the worst Mom ever?
I’m with you on the germs but I never could figure out what I was supposed to do with my kid while I used a public restroom. Holding him while peeing was not a problem, but how was I supposed to get my pants off?And the floor in a public restroom is a little gross. C’mon. Admit it.
Aw Johnathan, I know you’re always raring for a libertarian-minded scuffle and I wish I had the time to get into it right now but I’m too paralyzed by irrational fears to lift a finger.(ha.)I don’t think that we have any obligation to base our fears on the number of children “killed” from any said fear. Fears are by definition not rational. I choose to be angered by (and yes, a little fearful of) lead paint contamination not because “we expect someone else to deal with it” but because when someone sells us a product that’s supposed to be free from lead, guaranteed by a manufacturer and seconded by a taxpayer-funded government agency, that product should actually <>be<> free from lead. Crazy, I know.The best way to avoid illness from germs is to wash your kids’ hands. The best way to avoid lead paint contamination from toys is what… avoid toys? I’ve gotta believe there’s a better solution.
Maybe your neighbor had a bad experience with her first baby getting sick that has set her off. I am a firm proponent of the hygiene hypothesis regarding allergies, and I therefore encourage my kid to dig in the dirt and I let him eat crackers he dropped on the floor. But when he was a week old, born two weeks early, skinny, and jaundiced, a friend of mine called asking to see the new baby. He happened to mention he’d been sick, but he believed he was over it. I said, “Well, come on over if you’re not sick anymore. Just be sure to wash your hands before you touch the baby, just to be on the safe side.”This friend showed up with a hacking wet cough and proceeded to amuse himself by sticking his unwashed fingers in my newborn baby’s mouth. And my son spent the next two weeks having his nose suctioned out and sprayed with salt water four times a day, and sleeping in his car seat right next to a humidifier on doctor’s orders, because if he lay on his back in the crib to sleep, he could barely breathe. And I spent the next two weeks not sleeping at all at night, listening to my newborn baby wheeze. So, if I ever have another baby, please forgive me when I’m passing out the hand sanitizer at the door, Coughers will not be admitted. (Cute pre-schoolers will, though, as long as they wash their hands.)
Oooh comma splice– I hate that. Trust me folks, that was meant to be a period. My hand slipped.
I can’t get over the picture of the baby hanging from the door of a stall enough to come up with a coherent response…
I completely agree for my personal kids. I do have an in-home daycare and I try to be a little germophobic on the other parents’ behalf though. Lots of parents are quick to blame any sickness their kids get on the daycare.
Personally I’m blaming all the grocery carts they’re licking.
I have to admit that last week, I used germ-avoidance as a tactic to bar an annoying child from coming over to play. But I know darn well that can’t be your neighbor’s angle.And I have to admit that I find all of those grocery cart seat covers we feature to be a little silly. I think they should market subway seat covers instead – for both children and adults.
Try having a spouse who is the exact opposite of you on the whole germ thing. I’m pretty much with you, a few germs are good for you and the 5 second rule can be extended if the item is especially tasty. My husband on the other hand should own stock in Purell and asks not only my son but also me if I’ve washed my hands for dinner. And other times. It’s a joke, but not entirely, that one day he’ll start wearing gloves like Howard Hughes.
A non-germaphobe here too. It such a time saver to not be compelled to wash everything in sight.
Sorry if someone already said this as I didn’t read the comments above mine but one of the theories behind the increase in childhood allergies is the idea of a too clean society. With all this “germ phobia” and the rise of antibacterial everything, our kids bodies are starting to reject and fight off “safe” things.
and THAT is why i put in a chemical shower in my foyer.
Whenever people comment on how our toddler has never been sick, we say “It’s because we let her chew on shoes.”
In addition to the increase in allergies that Joanne mentioned, a lot of studies are linking over-sanitizing children with asthma and many other serious illnesses. And the earlier kids are exposed to dirt and germs, the better off they are in most of these studies.Some of these comments are too funny, though.
when we’re in bathrooms, I tell my kids not to touch stuff and we wash our hands well when we’re done. we wash our hands a few times a day, I tell them not to eat things that are obviously gross like dirty snow. but other than that, I try not to talk about germs and gross things a lot. I don’t want them to be sick from germs, but I also don’t want them to become crazy(or crazier, whatever).
At my New Moms groups which was led by a public health nurse, she gave an example of a new Mom who tried to keep her baby in a sterile environment, the nurse said the baby eventually became seriously ill…the baby didn’t have natural immunities to ward off common germs, etc. So with my two I wasn’t a germaphobe, but definitely make sure they wash hands before they eat and don’t touch anything in public washrooms. Common sense goes a long way to prevent illness.
I think we’re sort of middle ground. With my first, I made everyone scrub their hands first..for like three whole weeks. I brought her to the grocery store within a week of her birth. I boiled everything she put in her mouth for the first month of her life. After that, I calmed down a lot. She DID get very sick with RSV and that was awfully scary. It couldn’t have been prevented though, short of sealing her off in some vacuum, as my husband brought it home when I was pregnant with her and he and I were both very sick with it for something like three months off and on..With my second, I didn’t really sterilize anything(he was breast exclusively for the first month anyway). I keep things reasonably clean and otherwise don’t do much else. If a toy falls on the floor in the public place, I don’t let him put it back in his mouth, because that kind of makes me want to vomit. I was a zoology/biology major during my somewhat brief stint in college and I learned about all the lovely things which can infest us. blarg. We also use a cart cover, but I don’t use hand sanitizer and I almost always forget to make them wash their hands before eating. So, they do come into contact with what I would consider and healthy amount of ickies, but I do tend to avoid high risk type situations…especially since we can’t use cold medicine anymore..and a little someone does.not.sleep. when he has a stuffy nose.
this is a tough one.i used to be on your side of the fence 100%. germs=good.my first child was exposed to many germs. i took her to class with me when i taught 16+toddlers at a time. but then my second came along and he was…well…fragile.and the worst location of our ped’s office was full of disgustingly filthy toys. one day, we had to take both fragile baby and busy toddler to the icky office. we kept a short leash on busy toddler but she still touched the disgustingness they called toys and refused to wipe down or clean despite our many pleas.2 days later, busy toddler came down with nasty bronchial infection but recovered.her brother (fragile baby) caught the exact same virus.but he died.so….with #3 baby, after all that, we were those psycho parents for about 4 months. have patience. you don’t always know what someone else has been through.
Thank you for sharing your story Gwendomama. My heart goes out to you.
No, you’re absolutely right. They need to develop an immune system, and they can’t do that in a sterile environment. Pumpkinpie gets licked by dogs, too. She loves it. I love that she’s not scared of them. But are you supposed to wash pacifiers? oops.
I’m not germ phobic in the least. Can’t tell you how many times Myles has gotten his pacifier back after throwing it on the floor. I follow the face up/face down rule. Face up, he gets it back immediately, face down when we’re out, it gets a cursory rinse in whatever water source I have handy. Face down at home, usually But public restrooms skeeve me out so I’ve gotten expert at lining the toilet seat, peeing and wiping with one hand all while holding Myles. I’d by lying if I said I hadn’t considered hanging him by his Osh-kosh off the purse hook on the back of the door.
I must admit I’ve never seen the baby hanger thingy-ma-bobber. Crazy! All I have to say is germs shmerms. I strongly believe in self-innoculation – the kids want to eat off the floor let ‘em eat off the floor. In our over zealous germ-fighting world we are creating super bugs that may very well be our ultimate demise. Would I let my kids eat off the toilet? Probably not (although it may be cleaner than places they do eat). And, so far so good – hopefully they will actually have immunity should they encounter these bugs the next time; unlike some kids who are over-protected and thus vulnerable despite their parents’ best intentions.
LOVE the post!!! I am a mommy of 7 living children and 1 angel baby. My twins were born in May 07 at just 23 weeks gestation! Sadly, my son, Nick passed away, but Kenny is our little fighter! We are FOREVER going through bottles and bottles of hand sanitizer, wipes, etc… But no matter what we do, he still gets really sick. I think most of that has to do with his lungs that were damaged from being so early and being intubated for so long! It is a very hard and long road…these winter (RSV) months. I love reading your posts!