I feel like there’s a difference between stay-at-home moms and moms who are home with their children. Me being the latter.
Freelance has been slow with summer here (any leads anyone?) and I’ve found myself home with the girls more often. Which is wonderful. Awesome. Fanfreakingtastic. That’s what we’re supposed to say, right?
I pass these professional moms in my neighborhood who just seem to have their crap together and their routines down (and their hair perfect and their kids bathed) and while we give each other The Kindred Stroller-Pusher Smile, I don’t feel like I’m one of them.
It has less to do with me not having a Wall Street husband and me not having a grasp on childcare basics.
I still fumble through my building’s front entrance and smash the wheel into the doorframe when I try to navigate the double stroller through. I’m terrible at getting it up stairs – I’m always that mom who kind strangers approach asking, “You need some help with that ma’am?” I forget to strap the baby in in the first place.
I’m always tearing through my diaper bag searching for [diapers, wipes, goldfish, water, crayons, binkies] and they never seem to be there. Or the ones that are there are filthy. Or broken.
Yesterday I was so proud of myself for remembering to actually grab a diaper and toss it into the stroller just in case.
It was used. Don’t ask me how that happened.
I often find myself relieved when one kid is off having a special day with a grandparent or home napping with Nate. Two are three times as exhausting. Or maybe that’s just because I make it harder on myself because I can’t get organized.
Last weekend I went to a Kung Fu Panda promotional event with both kids and (after getting in a huge fight with the Masshole who stole my parking space and coming this close to slashing his tires) was so frazzled when I arrived I didn’t even remember to get the stroller out of the car. Isn’t that like the first thing you get after the children? The stroller? So there I am carrying my 19-pound pre-walker all the way to the event, then juggling her for an entire two hours while trying to wrangle snacks for Thalia and shake hands with other parents. At least the ones who weren’t scurrying away from the sweaty mom who was offering twenty dollars if someone would just get her a beer. (Stupid kid-friendly party.)
Even after nearly 3 years of parenting experience and two kids to show for it, I think when I’m out in public with my girls I come across more as the hapless but loving sitter than the experienced mom. Even my sitter thinks so.
Do they have new parent refresher classes? Like continuing ed for moms? A GED for the breeding set? Maybe something at the Learning Annex? Someone should get on that.
55 shards of brilliance… read them below or add one
I hear you! Boy do I hear you!It took me five years of having kids in our local school before I felt like anything but a clown or an impostor when I walked in there.My kids are 14, 12 and 9 and I still feel incompetent about my organizational skills in the parenting arena. Truth is, us artistic types (I’m a writer of fiction and non fiction) often find organization hard. Our brain just doesn’t function that way.I have beat myself up for so many years about my kids wearing dirty clothes or getting their signed forms in late, and now I’ve mostly made peace with it. Mainly, it’s because I am old and wise enough by now (!) not to care what other people think. I am still envious of how easy other mothers make it look, but I know that I’m not those women and never will be.Funnily enough, and maybe you’re like me in this, I’m very organized and intense with my work. I have my own little hare- brained systems, but I am never late or sloppy when it comes to writing deadlines. I published a book and have a second novel almost done — by GOD it’s taken me more than a decade, but mothers are nothing if not persistent!In my book I write about a turning point I had after a particularly challenging year when I realized my new mantra was: YOU DO THE BEST YOU CAN. That’s really all we can expect of ourselves!Katrinco-author, Mothers Need Time Outs, Toohttp://www.momstimeouts.com
I seriously feel like this will be me! :O Sometimes I just feel a bit awkward with kids… EEK!Good luck – you can do it!! Sounds like you are doing a great job at trying and for some it’s natural, and others… it’s a whole new world and a whole new playing field.. keep on trucking on and bumping into walls. ;P I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon. http://themyrons.eachday.com
I had to take LittleBrother, 6 months, to a bridal shower yesterday. And he had his first black eye because he whacked it off a toy. And I just. felt. horrible.so, I so get this.
Stumbling upon and reading blogs like this have finally made me fully understand why my mother, who once upon a time wanted five children, decided that two girls were plenty and stopped there. I’m told we were good kids, though, so thank God for that at least.The fact that she has just one more year before I’m legally out of her hair is probably encouraging, too, but my drama queen of a sister is the needier one, so who knows.
oh my dear…i can barely take care of myself, i can’t imagine how any of you manage children.i’m the one who managed to open a door, and crack myself in the head with it. also, once? in jumping out of an elevated suv with a backpack over a shoulder, i managed to shut the backpack in the locked door so i was hanging suspended, and trapped, from the locked door of the suburban, with my keys on the ground under me. my moments are many, and there’s almost always witnesses so rejoice that you are way more together than i am – and you have the-kids-are-driving-me-mad excuse that i would totally use if i could.