Nate rarely texts me about celebrity sightings at his trendy restaurant job since it’s pretty much a daily occurrence. Bono, Madonna, Jack Nicholson…no biggie. He did get excited about Joe Millionaire back during the show’s heydey. And of course Monica Lewinsky. Otherwise, eh. He’s jaded.
It’s me that’s the celebrity stalker of the family. (Though New Yorker that I am, I deny it to anyone but you.)
But last night was different for Nate.
Andrew McCarthy walked in.
Knowing what a former Brat Pack groupie I was and how excited I was when I used to run into him in the West Village, Nate raced to text me but found his batteries dead. So he did the next best thing: He told his fellow coworkers.
And straight from the Oh My God We’re So Fucking Old Files, not one of them knew who he was.
It’s a travesty, I tell you. It is a sad, sad, state of affairs when the response to, “Come on! St. Elmo’s Fire!” Is “Oh right…I think I saw that once at camp.”
Maybe you don’t watch Lipstick Jungle. Maybe you don’t know that Andrew McCarthy is doing theater up the whazoo and has recently written his own monologue on parenting for the Vagina Monologues-esque play Afterbirth. (Which, as luck would have it, is at the Triad next week as I’m heading to San Francisco for BlogHer. Grr) But still, St Elmo’s Fire? “Maybe?”
Not an acceptable response.
And so, for any Gen Y or Gen Z or whatever the heck we’re calling you pop culturally-illiterate slacker twenty-somethings these days, I present to you the 1980′s career highlights of my former love of my life, Andrew McCarthy.
1983: Class
“Wait a minute, that’s no hot older woman you’re dating…that’s your boarding school roommate’s mom!”
“Oh shoot. Can we do it in an elevator first though, before he finds out?”
“Oh, okay. But hurry up. Rob Lowe’s cheeks get really pink when he’s upset.”
1985: St Elmo’s Fire
“Life is soooo hard when you’re right out of college.”
“I know! You like totally don’t know if you’re ready to grow up, you want to date your friend’s girlfriend, and Georgetown is expensive. But hey, at least we have each other.”
“And Demi Moore has her crimping iron.”
“Also important.”
“But you can’t date the cute rich kid! You are poor and motherless and quirky and have red hair and your best friend is Annie Potts and your dad is Harry Dean Stanton. Also James Spader is up to his nefarious ways.”
“Yes I can, dammit. And I will do it against a Psychedelic Furs soundtrack. Then I’ll make a prom dress. I wonder what color. Hmm. I’ll surprise you at the end of the movie with it, how about that?”
1987: Mannequin
“Holy cow, that store mannequin looks exactly like Samantha from Sex and the City! You gonna date her?”
“Totally.”
1987: Less Than Zero
“Drugs! Drugs are bad! Don’t do them!”
“But you are all so cool that you make me want to do drugs.”
“Oops.”
1988: Fresh Horses
“Wait, is that Molly Ringwald and Andrew McCarthy together again? And Ben Stiller? And Viggo Mortensen?”
“I don’t know, I never saw the movie.”
“Yeah, me neither.”
1989: Weekend at Bernies
“Hey, know what would be a funny idea for a movie…?”
“Actually, no. No, that wouldn’t be that funny at all.”
“Great! We’ll make two of them.”
—-
Andrew, if you’re googling your name and come across this post? Fist to the heart, man. You’re the best. Want to get the kids together for a playdate sometime?
61 shards of brilliance… read them below or add one
If Nate had really loved you, he would have gotten on the phone so you could RACE down there with a kid under each arm. Self respect be damned. I love that man. With all my heart. God bless TBS for keeping the reruns coming…
MMMMM…. he’s so yummy! He makes my heart go pitter patter!I too LOVE Andrew McCarthy. Thanks for this post…. I have something nice to think about all day….
Hey Liz, That’s so cool that you linked to Dani’s website and Afterbirth! She’s one of my closest friends and if you EVER get a chance to see that show you should do it. It’s full of amazing writers…(I’ve done it)…including your beloved, Andrew.
OMG I now totally have Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now stuck in my head while I dream on being on the back of that motorbike with AM…. Sigh…
As we expect our second child, hubby and I are going over our list of names…I put Blaine on the table and hubby said, ” G-sus, Lara. Would you please come to this century? John Hughes has moved on, so should you.” Hubby slept on the couch (don’t mess with a pregnant lady in a heat wave!)Anywho, those movies, along with their leading men, helped me through the worst (and best) years of my life- the eighties. The movies, the music…ahhh, the golden years!!!
I saw Fresh Horses. What kind of fan are you, if you’re not willing to suffer through that CRAP for true love? Actually, I think I called in sick from work to see it. I should have gone to work.You know what I LOVED about Pretty in Pink? How bored and 45 years old the rich kids acted. Just too funny.I was suckered into buying the ‘Everything’s Ducky’ version of Pretty in Pink on DVD, hoping that it would have an alternate ending where she ends up with Ducky…Nope. But one thing I did find out is that she originally DID end up with Ducky, and it sucked, so they had to reshoot the ending. But Andrew had shaved his head bald for a roll in another movie, so they had to make him a crappy wig. Which explains why he looks so WEIRD at the PROM. (I had to cap PROM, because, duh, “WHAT ABOUT PROM?!?!?!”)Sorry for getting so excited about a celebrity post. I can’t help it.
Sad that it took me two weeks to read this, but still satisfying.I was pretty sure I would marry Andrew McCarthy and actually get a little bitter about it occasionally. Like whenever my real husband just doesn’t show me a sweet thoughtful face when I’m irrationally upset.I hope your kids play together someday. Report back.
@J at http://www.jellyjules.com: in the novelization of the book– which yes, I purchased from my neighborhood grocery store– has that original ending. Why did I not have the foresight to keep that book?!P.S. I saw Class twice in a row at the theatre, but I had to sneak in because it’s rated R and I was nowhere near 17.
I love Andrew McCarthy and all those John Hughes films. So much so that I taught a freshman composition class called “Composition and John Hughes” a few years ago. It was me and 18 year olds watching and analyzing John Hughes films and we did watch and write about “Pretty in Pink.” It was a pretty fun class to teach, esp. with the quiz over “Ferris Bueller.”
Loved him. Met him. Completely froze. Then Eric Stoltz walked in…
I would just like to let you know that I am a 20-something and I know who Andrew McCarthy is. Also, pretty in pink is awesome.