Right now I feel like the only mom who hasn’t yet quarantined my children, invested in gas masks, and run around in a circle in public shouting SWINE FLU! SWINE FLU! AHHHHHH!
The last time I remember feeling this way was in 2001 when the Anthrax thing struck and New York was in a similar crazy panic. I sat over a bottle of wine with a friend, drunk and nervous and punchy, creating our own versions of Anthrax. Like Cranthrax, which would get rid of urinary tract infections; Imanthrax which would turn you into a size 0; Klanthrax which could only be found in Mississippi and CSpanthrax which was a great anecdote for insomnia.
It got us through the week.
I have to believe in my heart of hearts that the media fascination with this is far greater than the actual risk of death. Not to take away from the tragedy of the child in Texas who died after contracting swine flu, but only now it’s revealed that he had “underlying health problems.” Only now, after 24 hours of frantic tweets and emails and blog posts about plastic bubbles and installing Purell dispensers on your children’s foreheads.
The Daily News reports that their favorite journalism source, “officials,” are reporting that parents should prepare for massive school closings–even though in the very next sentence, Governor Patterson essentially said the opposite.
And while the World Health Organization director made the general statement “it really is all of humanity that is at threat under a pandemic,” Faux News (surprise) repeats it as “the World Health Organization ratcheted up its pandemic alert, WARNING THAT ALL OF HUMANITY IS THREATENED.”
Kind of different spin there, huh.
Susan Wagner‘s husband got a notice from work asking them to avoid “courtesy kisses” (although as she points out, should there really be so much kissing in the workplace?) and I’m just waiting for some wackadoodle mom at my preschool with too much time on her hands to start demanding some kind of decontamination showers at every entry and exit point.
So why aren’t I panicked?
I guess I’m weird in that I get more worked up over the things that official sounding people deny can kill you (like oh, say BPA in bottles) than those that they’re claiming actually can.
Or maybe it’s just my authority issues: You tell me there’s a problem and I’ll challenge you to prove it. Tell me nothing to see here, move along, carry on…and I’m all over it. What are you hiding? Huh? Huh?
So thank you Karen Walrond for tweeting about the “Flu of the Aporkolypse” and thank you to The Onion for telling us what “Real Americans” think about the Swine Flu so I can laugh about this just a little bit.
And please tell me I’m not the only one who’s not body dipping my kids in alcohol every 60 seconds. Because I’d hate to think that I’m the only crappy mom on the block. Again.
71 shards of brilliance… read them below or add one
I’m not really concerned for myself, either, but that’s generally the way I roll. I did buy a bottle of bleach, you know, to disinfect and to purify water if it’s nearing the end of the world. Not sure exactly where I put the bleach after I got it though.
However, if I were to be alarmist, I’d point out that part of the reason this is causing so much hype, at least in Mexico is that it is killing the healthy adults, rather than solely targeting young, old, sick. Here, though, not so much. Yet.
this isn’t the kind of thing I worry about, although sometimes I think I should. Especially since my 6 year old was complaining of a sore throat tonight, and 6 of his classmates missed school today due to illness (of one kind or another.) I do live in L.A., so I should probably be giving it more thought. But it’s hard for me to worry about what might maybe possibly COULD happen, I’d rather save my energy to completely freak out once it actually happens and I’m totally unprepared for it. Yeah. That’s my mothering policy.
I’m not stressing about it at all or changing my routine, which includes letting my almost 6 month old sit on the *gasp* carpet without a freshly washed blanket under her.
But then I’m a bit of a slacker, really
Boy, I’ve been stuck at home with a crabby 2-year old with a fever and cold symptoms. I suspect she has Whine Flu…
Probably at this point you have a better chance of being struck by lightening than dying from the Swine flu.
On the other hand, I’m wondering if they have Tamiful in Tanzania.
Thanks for this take on it… After having a school in our district shut down and a nearby district call off school until the 11th, it was refreshing to hear this! Linked to you today to pass it on. Thanks!
http://perfectsentiment.blogspot.com/
I hate the news…I mean really hate it. The words “pandemic” and “plague” sound so much better than the real, day-to-day crap that’s going on, so they report the hell out of that and, would you look at that!, their ratings go up and their advertisers get more money! Who knew???
Ugh. The truth of the matter is that thousands of people die of the regular old flu every year. You’ll like this website, Do I Have Pig Flu dot com:
http://doihavepigflu.com/
I’m trying so very hard not to be rude to all the folks truly panicking about this. I’m nice that way.
I do, though, really hope my kid doesn’t get sick while all this is going on because the last thing I want to do is hang out in a crowded doctor’s office with a bunch of snotty kids. And I mean literally snotty, not figuratively.
Ha ha, I feel the same way. my mom is trying to tell me to stay in the house and not to take my 9 month old daughter out unless I practically slather her and assault everyone near her with Purell. Way to overreact everyone!
I’m too blurry from allergies to think about the swine (oh, my apologies to all the pigs) H1N1 flu.
Like with anything we have to take necessary precautions, but the media is really taking this one too far. It’s like they are tired of reporting on the bad economy and now that President Obama has passed the 100 days in office mark they have nothing better to do.
Slacker mom reporting for duty! I’m trying so hard to remember to make my 2 year old wash his hands before eating and stopping hiding his binkies under the furniture so he can retrieve them when I take one away. But to be truthful, I suck. It probably makes it worse that I am a high school teacher and we are located about 20 miles from the only confirmed case in Ohio. I just can’t seem to get too worked up about this.
(Although – it does creep me out a little that I just finished a book about a plague that wiped out half the population and originated in Mexico!)
Where is that Purell????
The smartest take on the swine flu I’ve heard, well, ever.
Our media, and the relentless pursuit of a story, regardless of truth yet again proves both how powerful they are, and how disgusting.
Well, this is a tough call, but we have been hearing from a doctor who has been to health department meetings here in central Texas. I would not take this thing too lightly, people.
For more info, go here:
http://crib-notes.blogspot.com
More info and distinctions than I’ve seen anywhere else, and it’s not from the media; it’s from people in the know.
I think the common sense gland of society has been replaced with an over-reactionary gland…. This winter, school was cancelled for my son the NIGHT BEFORE, without a single flake on the ground. And not a single one fell until 1:00 the next day. Ridiculous.
I do like one of the comments about using this as an opportunity to stop nail-biting though…
I think as usual, the media is blowing things out of proportion.
I think that snorting while they laugh is the closest most people are to swine flu
ya I haven’t jumped on the crazy swine flu bandwagon yet either. I’m pretty stinking sure that more people have died from the regular flu this year than the damn swine flu.
Although…now that u mention it…my throat is sore….
I'm not stressing about it. I live in Jersey City & work in Manhattan. I'm traveling to central america next week on vacation. But I'm not freaking out at all. And I'm pregnant, so I kind of wonder if I should be freaking out. I'm just not.
I’ve been calling it the Ein-sway Ooh-flay. That’s H1N1 Latin.
You are definitely not the only one who isn’t stressing. The mainstream media makes me want to stick a fork in my eye. It’s insane how they report on this stuff with ratings in mind. Everyone listens all day long and assumes the worst without considering all the facts. This is certainly cause to be careful, especially if you already have compromised health, but not cause to worry as much as we do.
Amazing isn’t it? Such little things – a few hundred people WORLDWIDE with a headache and fever – can just shut down the entire globe. I guess it’s a great example of the “Power of Small;” the tiniest things can absolutely shape the universe!
Lisa