After months of being a regular office grunt with a day job, I found myself with a few free days out of the office this week.
Today happened to coincide with my sitter’s day off and the next thing you know, it’s 10 and the kids aren’t dressed yet and Sage hasn’t eaten breakfast and the TV’s been on pretty much forever. Then it’s 11 and Sage is still refusing to eat, although Thalia tells me she’s now ready for “her second breakfast” which is apparently a frozen waffle. Then it’s noon and I realized that Thalia still had to eat lunch before getting to school at 12:20, and she’s hungry but she’s not and now Sage is hungry too but just wants Care Bear Snacks, whatever that means (thanks Nate).
Also I forgot the hair brushing.
I think it comes down to the fact that I am just not a great weekday mom.
You full time stay-at-home moms, you are my heroes. Because I cannot do it. Cannot. At times I wish I could, of course. I love the romantic notion of spending all day with my kids, planning nutritious meals, turning vaccuming into a fun family game, and creating a new macaroni necklace each day, or whatever the hell the 21st century version of that is. (Penne perhaps?) I can only imagine what it would be like to actually have clean floors and a sparkling bathtub and still have time to be that mom at school who plans the auctions and the fundraisers and knows exactly who is responsible for bringing the mylar balloons and who is bringing the latex ones.
I won’t ever be that mom. I won’t ever be that person. I can’t even get my kids fed in time for school on a regular old sunny Thursday. (Which..shit. I think I’m supposed to be picking her up now.) I love my work and I believe it keeps me balanced. Even when I seem unbalanced because of it.
Sorry Thalia and Sage – at some point I know you’ll wish I were “like the other moms.”
And then one day you’ll realize that instead, you got the mom who lets you watch the Wonderpets at 8PM because she feels guilty for working all day, once in a while gets you on TV or in a cool music video, allows way too many animals in the house because man you love them, and is willing to carry you the extra three blocks to Haagen-Dazs on the first warm spring weekend for double scoops of peanut butter and chocolate.
The weekend mom may not know a lot, but at least she knows that life’s too short to eat crappy ice cream.
63 shards of brilliance… read them below or add one
why waste the calories on bad ice cream? LOL
I like how you assume my floors are clean and my bathtub sparkles.
HAH.
On the internet, no one can see your piles of unfinished laundry. (Unless you post photos of them to your blog, of course.)
I was a full time mom for 6 months when we moved cities I quit my job. I feel the exact same way you do – I am not cut out to spend all day at home. I am a much better mother in small doses!
I love this post.
I’ve always said that if I stayed at home, my kids and I would spend every day staring at each other saying “What do you want to do?” “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” And then we’d go to Target.
Fantastic post and fantastic comments. Finally, a down-to-earth, how-it-really-is (except for the sparkling tubs part) post that didn’t draw ire from mothers on all sides, if there are “sides.”
I’ve been a SAHM and a WAHM and, like everyone here, I’m just doing the best I can. There’s no one way to parent, and the grass is sometimes greener until you get a good look close-up and all.
Most moms tell me the same. Nicely done and nicely commented upon, everyone.
Jen Singer
MommaSaid.net
Stay at home moms don’t do all those things you think stay at home moms do… at least I don’t.
Vacuume? Ha! as if. Nothing here sparkles. I’m too busy handing out goldfish crackers and markers and picking up pokemon cards and thomas track to scrub stuff. Stuff gets scrubbed, when it gets scrubbed at all, on the weekends when Hubs is home to watch the kids.
Of course, it’s possible I’m deeply inept.
Great post, btw.
Love this, you speak for many. I am already feeling less guilty about this past weekend and going on the beach trip (with a girlfriend while Daddy stayed home with the kids) my husband gave to me as a suprise for the 3 1/2 past years of being either pregnant or taking care of a toddler (or both) while working and him traveling 50% of the time.
Came back to a freezer with only chicken nuggets and fish sticks when I got back and just haven’t had the energy (or desire) to get back into the swing of things and make the grocery run.
Do you think if I alternate for meals until Saturday it will be enough “variety”?
Don’t give us STAH Moms that much credit. I work PT from home and feel like I have those days everyday! Too much TV…not enough crafts…too much rushing around to get them to nap so that you can get some work done…and not enough real home cooking. Love those frozen waffles. Cleaing the tub not so much.
Thank you for writing this. I’ve been struggling with this same feeling lately and feeling very guilty for it. It’s nice to know there are others out there that feel the same.
Sorry…to me “easy” means “has more time on ones hands to do things such as clean. Or shower. Or eat.” So, um, that also means that my previous comment is redundant. Can I use the I-haven’t-gotten-3-hours-of-sleep-straight-in-a-year card here? Cool. That’s what I’ll do then.
Yeah–”romantic” isn’t really an aspect of the weekday SAHM. Or at least not for me. Having a nanny a few hours a day? So this mommy can have a date with a private oasis on which she can frolic nude as she gulps non-alcoholic champagne? That’s much, much closer to romantic.
I am a stay at home mom for the moment, and will never be one of THOSE MOMs. But hopefully, just like you, I’ll be the frazzled yet kooky outside-the-box mom, who my son will not be too disappointed he ended up with.
I just kind of stumbled upon your blog and I love it! Totally agree, I am a weekend mom too and couldn’t have it any other way.