Last week, I was informed that one of Thalia’s 4 year old classmates was taking violin lessons. Because as we all know, any child not taking violin lessons in pre-k is doomed to grow up to work in the service of those who did take violin lessons in pre-k. Most likely by uttering the phrase “Would you like to super size that for 59 cents more?”
Thalia is not in fact taking violin lessons. Or ballet lessons. Or Mandarin Chinese. In fact she’s not taking any lessons right now because we can’t afford it and I’m only 85% totally bitter about it. The other 15% is sort of this proud rejection of the over-parenting syndrome that’s ubiquitous in Brooklyn.
If you twist my arm and deprive me of Real Housewives and force me to admit it, I’d blurt out that that I wish we were in the position that we could pass on the overscheduling on pure moral grounds; and not simply because we have to pay Con Ed these days on a single recession-era income. That income being mine.
So instead, we do what we can around here. We put on classical music and I teach the girls grand jetés and pirouettes. We page through the birdwatchers handbook and learn the difference between cranes and pelicans. We read One Fish Two Fish and talk about which animal we’d most like to have. (They like the wet one.) We go to Grandma’s house to pick fat peas and come up with words to describe the flavor of fresh basil.
And perhaps best of all, we put on You Tube, grab some empty paper towel rolls-cum-microphones, and sing off-tune, with all the passion we can muster.
Thalia may not be able to play Twinkle Twinkle on a 1/8 size Franz Meuller, but she does know all the words to Fish Heads. At least in this household, that counts for a lot.
(Actual music starts at 2:10. Start at the beginning if you like the creepy weird new-wave artsy stuff like my kids.)
60 shards of brilliance… read them below or add one
Time spent with parents is better than all the lessons money can buy, in my book.
I'm with you though…we were able to afford one thing at a time, and I was very pious about not over scheduling my child. Until she wanted to do two things…then I started wondering if I were putting her at a disadvantage in the world by not being able to afford guitar lessons AND swim lessons. I decided that one at a time was fine. And now, when we can't afford ANY lessons? That's fine, too. There's always scouts. And youtube.
Great!
This is the right site by which i can easily learn music. you are terrific man. you are awesome…
kellyjones
Who wants to listen to a 4-year-old play the violin??? OMG on stringed instruments you can hit notes that SHOULD NOT EXIST.
Gabriel's in swim lessons.
And I was thinking about signing him up for hip-hop dance when he's 4. Because 4-6 year olds dancing to hip-hop sounds like possibly the cutest thing EVER.
Ugh! My son is going to a pretty fancy camp at our health club and it's stretching our summer budget but apparently not others. So you can imagine the shocked look on other moms faces when I proclaim I will NOT spend $60 for an hour tennis lesson for junior. I mean, seriously people? You think that's normal? We busted out our racquets in the park yesterday and had a grand ol time the old fashioned way just like you did.
I was so inspired by what you wrote that you do with your kids. My husband and I are somewhere between, can afford to over enroll and activity to death our children and just don't want to be “those parents” so we don't and not too long ago, could not afford to pay attention and the kids did fine without any out of the house activities like ballet, soccer, swim, blah blah blah. My husband is the chef in our home (not professionaly trained but likes to think so) and I really identify with the things you said. I never read blogs and just got into twitter – thats where I stumbled on you and you may make a junkie of me yet. I would love to know how your kids describe the taste of basil.
cheers,
I used to teach swim lessons in college and focused on 3 to 4 year olds. Age 3 to 4 is the earliest I'd start a child for swim lessons, and even then, only some 3 to 4 yo had the stamina and strength to learn to swim.
i understand where you're coming from. we do ONE extra curricular activity for each of our kids. And we try to instill a love of learning and culture too. You don't necessarily need to be rich to do that.
I totally agree in principle, but hey, violin lessons – we're doing that. Hey, ballet – doing that too. Each is an hour a week for the lesson, and the violin practice takes 15 min. a night. (We're taking it slow – Z is 5, after all.) I'm just saying that having some scheduled activity does not necessarily equate to “overscheduling.” And yeah, the exposure for our daughter has been great. None of these things may be her cuppa tea a year or three from now, but she's learning some valuable (and fundamental) skills in the process.
The finances are another matter entirely – we live in a small town where this stuff doesn't cost nearly as much as I'm sure it does in Brooklyn.
We also have access to far fewer free and ad-hoc learning resources than you New Yorkers (museums, parks and moderate weather to go with them, super cool free events).
So at the moment, violin lessons (and ballet!) make sense for us. The way we're doing violin lessons – as a family – is also sort of unusual. (We're all taking them.) Guess I'd better go ahead and write about that…
My training in piano and voice helped me throughout high school, college and now in my adult life. I am teaching my 4 year old twins piano – a few minutes a day – they think they are getting a special treat to sit at the piano with mommy. I will save up Christmas money to pay for violin lessons in the spring. We are a one income family, my husband is a teacher. I have a master's degree in English and taught until my twins were born, so now I stay home with them. We read from our Bibles every day. We don't have a television but we watch old movies like Heidi, we paint and play in the rain and roll down hills. We travel as much as we can on our limited budget. My children know the cactus in Arizona and the mountains in Colorado.
I understand money problems. I understand overscheduling. HOWEVER, what ever happened striving to give a child a well-rounded learning experience. I know that my piano practice drove my parents crazy, but now I can play anything I want for my children. It is worth the sacrifice. Your internet/cable bill would probably pay for most of the lessons.
Anon, you've solved it! I just need to get rid of the internet, the essential tool of my livelihood, and we'll be able to afford…um…oh, wait.