I don’t get in “blog wars” on this blog. Never have. Well, maybe once I kind of did, and it was political, and I semi-regret that but not for the reasons you think. Mostly because I emerged with my favorite shoes scuffed and I broke a nail and missed the first ten minutes of Sopranos over it.
I am passionate, I am feisty, and I am opinionated–but I always have always encouraged thoughtful discussion and dissent. I can’t control my readers entirely, because I think they have a right to strong opinions too–however I do my best to set a respectful tone in comments and to encourage people to attack the idea and not the person. I fail sometimes. But I try.
I can see why the some of the bloggers participating on the Corn Refiners Association Blog Tour were hurt this week. Now, not all of them were. Several commented here or emailed me and kindly thanked me for the way I handled my post. (Gracias MomStart.) Some others just felt beat up or were attacked on their own blogs. That bums me out.
However feeling attacked is not the same as being attacked.
I never told people to take down their posts, or to pull out of Mom Central (although several bloggers did of their own accord after receiving the CRA pitch), or to boycott HFCS even.
If you think I did any of those things, I’d encourage you to please read my post carefully.
My point, aside for not being on Team HFCS, is simple: We must own our words, particularly in our brand relationships. And in order to do so we should make sure we’re informed to the degree we can be.
Part of that is recognizing that when you participate in a controversial campaign, whether it’s promoting HFCS “facts,” vaccinations, circumcision, formula practices or politics, you have to be prepared to potentially take some heat and face some dissenters. People like Mom Slant, PHD in Parenting, Queen of Spain do that every day.
That’s the crazy thing about the nature of controversy.
It’s…controversial.
In any case, I feel terrible for the participants who feel bad the same way I felt terrible for the Nestle Family bloggers. I don’t think they’re all whores and sell-outs, and I will never condemn them for what they put in their bodies or in their children’s bodies, or even for what they choose to endorse if they can stand behind their decisions. Should I need to extend an olive branch, I’m doing it now.
Now this is where normally my post would end.
Bye! Have a great day. Be back tomorrow with a funny story about my kids.
And then I read this last night: A post by Stacy Debroff, CEO of Mom Central, who, understandably dismayed by the level of animosity towards her client and this campaign, takes me on by name, attacks me personally, calls me a borg (yes, a borg), and attributes all sorts of things to me that don’t sound familiar at all. {note: you can now find the post here via Google’s Cache, since Ms. Debroff has attempted to scrub the post.}
Let’s just say, ask me about the Lindberg Baby sometime.
Skipping past the cute passive-aggressive digs like how I’m a good mom “by night,” I really had half a mind to ignore it. It’s all such a load of garbage complete with convoluted Star Trek metaphors, and can be easily put to bed just by clicking to my actual post (should she have had the integrity to link to it in the first place). I decided to sleep on it.
I woke up clear-headed, with the idea of going there, leaving a thoughtful comment to ask readers to decide for themselves whether her accusations of me were true, reasserting that I never once pressured anyone to take down their posts despite her accusation to the contrary, and moving on.
Turns out some bloggers had already said those very things.
That’s when she started deleting any dissenting comments.
Like these from Crunchy Carpets and MilehiMama.
Plus one by Clark Kent’s Lunchbox that was pretty funny. One by backpacking dad. And who knows what else that was posted after I went to bed.
And then Stacy Debroff closed comments on her post completely, leaving up only the two that agreed with her.
So.
Wow.
To recap:
On a post all about accusations of group-think and first amendment rights and encouraging dissent and not attacking bloggers, she attacked me, attacked any blogger who shared my views, took down dissenting comments, then closed the discussion.
This all from “America’s most trusted mom.”
The deleted comment that really angered me the most was this one from Mindi Cherry of Moms Need to Know, a woman I’ve never met, but who seems reasonable and smart. She was a former Mom Central reviewer who decided to pull out of the network after receiving the CRA pitch.
[edited to add: Stacy has since amended her blog post with a note that reads Of note: late last night I regrettably had to close and take down all comments to ths blog post as it came under sustained attack along with profanity and trash-talking by those supporters of Mom 101 and HCFS.
Three of those comments are posted here. They are neither profane, nor trash-talking, nor were the other two that I saw.]
In any case, whatever accusations are being lobbed at me, I continue to own my words. I’m proud of my post yesterday, and 99% of the comments that it generated too. I’m proud of how the discussion unfolded, and how even dissenting commenters and representatives from the CRA were allowed to speak their minds. I’m proud of remaining intellectually honest and refuting junk studies, even ones that support my POV. I’m proud that the word “douchebag” didn’t come up once, not even by me. (A record!)
I’m proud of how we as a community, through discussion and debate, can grow and learn and maybe come out smarter. Not just by talking about how we should allow dissent, but by actually allowing it.
I think that’s the real meaning of integrity in blogging. And that’s the best of what the community can be.
If that makes us a Borg, then nanu-nanu.
Or whatever.
I never watched Star Trek.
129 shards of brilliance… read them below or add one
Next Comments →
Good gravy, I love you. And not because I've been assimilated, but because you conduct yourself with dignity and integrity.
Some other people should consider doing the same.
nanu-nanu.
As a blogger I abhor controversy and avoid confrontation. I'm a candy-coated blogger on many levels. So your post yesterday? Made me cringe because of my own fears of controversy. HOWEVER – you wrote it well and didn't attack with emotion or hit below the belt. So, while I cringed because I'm a naive wus who just wants us all to get along? I respected your handling of the subject you felt strongly about.
HOWEVER – I abhor the way Stacy DeBroff handled the wave of response your attention created. It makes me angry in many ways. It was an emotion response written in an irrational way built on imaginary evil that didn't even exist in your post. So, while I didn't feel the need to participate in the original discussion? This time I'm all in. You handled yourself professional and respectfully. Thank you for that.
*shaking head*
It's always the same.
1) Shill for a company, knowingly or otherwise.
2) Get dissent on information, based on relationship with that company. (legitimate complaint).
3). Tell everyone you were personally attacked by a bully.
4) feel victimized.
I'm not sure we can all get along if we don't even understand civil discourse.
When I read the MC response post, complete with a hideous sci-fi picture and reference, I was appalled. Then to find out they removed dissenting comments–Wow!
What I got out of your original post, Liz, were these wise words for all bloggers:
“But–and I've said this many times before–I believe we all need to own our words.
“And I do think we have an obligation to understand what we're posting about and who we're advocating for–not just when it's paid, but especially when it's paid.”
That's blogging with integrity right there, and in this Wild West of marketer-blogger relationships, it's all we have when it comes down to it.
Wow. Just. WOW. I almost commented yesterday, but everything I wanted to say had already been said. But I can't leave this one alone. A borg. Really? I'm almost speechless, to which most can attest is truly an amazing feat.
I so appreciate your levelheadedness in light of this nonsense.
Thank you for your post yesterday, and for this one today. You post fair and balanced posts allowing comments and encouraging debates of a friendly nature. Thank you for both owning your words and leading by example or professionalism.quoolo
Bravo! That's all I think I can say on the matter. And thank you.
When I first clicked over from Twitter, I thought, “Really? Why is she writing about yesterday's post again?” Then I read about the deleting of comments and closing of comments, etc. That's ridiculous. Why have a blog if you're going to censor the responses and interactions? Keep a private journal instead.
This also has me reconsidering my association with the “dads” arm of this organization, even though I like its director.
I just scraped my jaw up off the floor. If I were in your shoes I wouldn't be able to write a smart, thoughtful, even handed post.
Shoot-sent my comment too soon.
I appreciate your integrity (as always) but especially in light of the MC blog post.
Thank you for being a voice of reason in the mom blogging world.
I was going to comment yesterday, but couldn't think of the right thing to say. It was going to be nice, though. I've had even less sleep now, but I basically just want to thank you for your post yesterday and today. This community/blog world/place needs voices like you that encourage integrity (the real kind) and honesty and heartfelt support of causes. I'm sorry someone felt they had to take you down for pointing that out. I don't think you're a borg.
Actions speak louder than words and sadly, there are few surprises coming out of this. Although, you have to laugh at the ironic comparison to a Borg, right? Come on, Liz – lighten up! That was funny.
Seriously, though. Thank you, Liz. Thank you for putting yourself out there and for providing a forum in which dissenting opinion is allowed. As someone who makes very few actual dollars in this game, I MUST consider my trust capital because it is all I have.
Your post and the posts by Anna Viehle and Mir have had me doing some serious mental rumination these past few days. And that? Is the mark of some damned good writing – you are making us THINK. We don't have to agree, but we do have to THINK, or the Borgs will win.
As you were.
I woke up this morning feeling a little bad about my response to your other post. I was so blown away by the quote you shared that I didn't take a minute to think about the *person who wrote it. I was not kind, and I am sorry for that.
However, my main point stands. It's not ethical and it's not professional to be a mouthpiece for a company under the guise of “reporting” what you learned. If the language is too confusing or the science is beyond you, then don't say you 'learned' something when really, you were just told what to think. I would have had a completely different reaction if the blogger had said “You know, I don't really understand everything I was told, but I am going to reserve judgment on HFCS until I can do some more research.” Even saying that you're convinced that your body reacts to HFCS the same as it does sugar is NOT the same as saying “HFCS is no different from sugar.” Small changes in verbiage make huge differences in meaning. We need to be critical thinkers when we're dealing with something as important as health, diet, nutrition…and chemicals.
MomCentral's response to this is the height of unprofessionalism. Glad to see you're handling it with your usual classiness, Liz.
I'm still not sure how she can reconcile writing a post condemning the practice of attacking bloggers by attacking you and calling you a Borg.
Though, I'd say, you're a pretty hot Borg.
And deleting/closing comments? Well, you know how I feel about that shiz.
Holy moly. I think MomCentral has blown it on this one. The only way to behave in a situation like this is to be gracious, to be balanced and to talk about the issues as she sees them, as you did. Instead she resorted to calling everyone who disagreed with her campaign “borgs”. Why does it have to get to this point?
Here here! I actually for once was on time reading these discussions last night and made all the way through Mom Central's 12 or so postd comments (before they were deleted and now completely shut down).
I've been reading you Liz for years now, ever since your makeover in Parents Mag when I found you. I follow you on Twitter. I've learned through your posts that in some areas of our lives we are complete opposites – politically, religiously, probably sports too, I don't know – but in those subjects that heighten emotional responses.
But know what? I love you more for it! Because in all of it, you STAND FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN. I may not always agree, but I know that you have integrity and are honest about what you believe. You do not bicker, you are not petty.
Who said we weren't allowed our own opinions – we should OWN our opinions – like you said, own our words. It's what brings diversity and change and the ability to learn and grow – all those things most of us “mombloggers” are trying to teach our children. Integrity being (I hope) one of the most important values of all.
If there is a Borg out there, I think she outed herself.
I think that owning our words is one of the most important tools we have. Besides TiVo, I mean.
Liz, I haven't met you, but I am enjoying the discourse.
I have met Stacy, and have had intelligent dealings with her (not business dealings) in the past.
This blogging back and forth and having intelligent comments is a really good study of what the blogosphere has been good for going on 10 years now. I'm sure Doc Searls and some of the other early folks would recognize this as what they wanted to happen.
I'm saddened that Stacy took her comments down – I didn't see the alleged attacks so I won't judge that.
I've served as an 'influencer' for specific marketing campaigns as recently as last month, so I am not “innocent” in this issue.
I will be assigning this little kerfluffle to my NYU Masters of Integrated Marketing students as a mini case study. It is worth learning how dialog works online regardless of how the brand or influencers want it to work.
–Howard Greenstein
Adjunct, NYU
@howardgr
words are my own, etc.
It's not even like you were the only person who publicly objected to the way these sponsored posts were handled — many others also wrote posts and it was totally unfair to single you out as some sort of blog gang leader. And aside from being unprofessional and overly personal, the MomCentral response totally misses the point.
It is not so much other bloggers' opinions on HFCS that is at issue for those of us who care about blogging integrity — it's the bloggers' (largely) uncritical acceptance and repetition information they were given on a controversial subject by a clearly biased source.
I am sure if a blogger were to write a well-researched, detailed post on HFCS with links to studies and cited sources outside the corn lobby, most parenting bloggers would read the post with interest and respect for the writer's intent and her personal opinion — no matter WHAT her conclusion about HFCS.
When I personally object to the way MomCentral handled this promotion I am not objecting to the OPINIONS some people have on HFCS — I am objecting to the way writers were apparently encouraged to parrot a corporate line on a controversial product AS THOUGH it were their own reasoned opinion, when it's clear that most of these bloggers had not really researched the product in question, and in fact some did not even understand the limited data from a biased source that had been presented to them.
Of course, all advertorials involve setting one's own true opinions aside to please a corporate client, which is why I don't do them on my blog. If a business or professional organization wants me to do marketing writing, they can pay me my regular hourly rates as a professional marketing writer (and no, I do not accept payment in coupons).
This reminded me of Swistle's recent post about bothersome bumper stickers, in particular the “Thinking Women Vote Republican” (or Democrat, doesn't matter) one.
No, thinking women don't vote (or eat, or write) blindly as a bloc, period. Thinking women think.
Think, women, think.
(And thinking women don't delete dissenting comments, either.)
{speechless}
Ditto to everything Meagan said. Part of owning our words is being educated about the ones that come out of our mouths (keyboards?), which is where some of the HFCS and Nestle bloggers lacked. Taking a gig to spread unethical marketing practices of major corporations, and pretending as though it's “reporting”, isn't owning words at all. The company owns those words… they're just renting space on your blog/twitter to publish them.
Having said that, I don't think people should be attacked. Should be people be called out? Absofriggenlutely. But not attacked. I DO think people should think a little harder before taking the free plane trip, which is exactly what I did before going to GlaxoSmithKline. I knew my readers would want the REAL story, so I researched, asked them very uncomfortable questions (which made me wildly unpopular with the other bloggers in the room who wished I would just my trouble-making mouth), and reported everything I actually learned. I felt ZERO obligation to say “vaccines are safe! A major corporation told me so and gave me dinner so it must be true!” My readers got the full story, even if it pissed GSK off. If a blogger is going to take on that kind of trip, that's how it needs to be done. Otherwise, who are we fooling?
Don't be afraid of controversy.
Good controversy isn't about starting fights. It's about calling attention to deeply problematic issues that other people are too afraid/busy/apathetic/uneducated to take on.
Bad controversy is when people spout nonsense and back it up with insults.
I think you were brave enough to take on the good kind yesterday, and you didn't deserve to be attacked over it.
@Howard wow, that's a great compliment. Thanks. I'd be really interested in knowing how a college class interprets this all. Feel free to get in touch any time.
@Sarah that's also a great compliment. My favorite comments are always “I don't agree but appreciate how you said it.” I should leave comments like that myself more.
@meagan that's very cool of you. I know you have a good heart and this is hard proof.
@Jaelithe, it's true. I'm certainly not dictating the content or views of folks like Jessica Gottlieb, Our Ordinary Life, who both wrote about this campaign before I did. I'm sure they won't be thrilled with that accusation. Let alone dozens of bloggers and journalists who have dissected the entire Sweet Surprise marketing campaign even before any blogger outreach.
Thanks for the support everyone. It means a lot.
Thanks @FB. Great points.
In fairness to those bloggers though, there was no plane trip. They just listened to a one-hour webinar then reported on it.
I don't do blog drama. Ever. At least I try not to. I have in the past and I have always come to regret it.
I will say this. I just posted a PR campaign I did with mom central for something else. A movie, and I never do reviews. But it was light and fun and fluffy. So I thought, why not?
And I'm embarrassed now I ever worked with them. And I will never again.
Wait! I have more to say!
As I was thinking about this some more (see how that works? The thinking thing?) I realized that maybe Mom Central's defense of their anti-HFCS/pro-HFCS switch is that they serve a wide audience, with differing points of view, and are trying to meet the needs of both sides.
Totally possible, but I don't read Mom Central enough to know that. So if that's the case, good on 'em. Maybe they might want to make that more clear next time.
Forget about just within the mom-o-sphere. You are one of the most ethical professionals I know, and I am proud know you and work with you on Blog With Integrity.
Oh, and I should have added…
Our differences of positions on whatever topics aside, dagnabbit I find you so real and enjoyable that I can't stop reading. And those differences make me have nothing other than more respect for you and ALL of what you are about.
You rock. Your blog, and classiness, is one of the reasons I keep reading on the web.
Its funny – I went to an event last night and the theme was 'Know Yourself'.
I think you embody that – and you show all of us how to do that in such a dignified way.
We can trust what you write and that is what is important.
Thank you.
The objective of every single one of my posts on The Mom Slant is to make people think. I value all thoughtful discussion, whether it supports my point or not, because I love to see people consider new information and new perspectives and not just parrot the party line.
This post is simply amazing. I'm proud to be your friend.
You go, Liz. Thanks for your integrity and thoughtfulness and for pointing out the serious ethical issues underlying the debate. I love your blog all the time, but never moreso than when you're at the top of your game writing about these kinds of happenings.
What a person posts on their blog, or in a comment on another blog is posted at their own discretion, and is of their own opinion or observation.
We must be responsible for what we say out loud or online. Others have a right to voice their opinions about what you say, and we have to respect that.
But unless you have been called out by name with prejudice or malice, don't call yourself a victim.
You're a class act, Liz, and I every time I get embarrassed to be “one of those mom bloggers,” I remember that you are too. I'm proud to be associated with gals like you and many of the previous commenters on this post.
I decided yesterday I was going to stay quiet about all this but then last night I read Stacy's post and the comments on it and thought, “Hmm, it seems odd that there are so few comments on this post given the volatile nature of the subject.”
(Volatile is a word I use often while talking to myself.)
Anyway, now that I know she not only closed comments but DELETED dissenting comments… I don't know. This is one of those instances where I'm ashamed to be considered a Mommy Blogger. But I am glad to know there are others who still believe in integrity in blogging. Thanks for your coverage of this topic, Liz, and for letting a fair and thoughtful discussion happen in your comment section. As always, it's been enlightening.
Dude, what zoot said. Way to rise above.
Well done.
I am a relatively new mom, a relatively new follower of your blog, and not a blogger myself, but I wanted to thank you for your thoughtful posts on this important topic. It's important not only for bloggers but also for readers to understand and think through these issues. Bravo to you for highlighting them in such a professional way.
BTW, I'd never heard of Mom Central before this (as I said, new-ish mom, etc.), but I will surely not be seeking out that site now.
Love your blog and am now a devoted reader. Thanks again.
Gee golly. Thanks for the mention.
Yeah, Stacy already doesn't like me too much …I think it has something to do with some qualified remark I made comparing her to Heidi Fleiss in a post I wrote a few weeks back on the M3 Summit. Pfft.
Ditto for John Porcaro of the Dad Central side of things. You allude to something being “exploitative,” and everyone gets a little nuts. (At least he had the guts to comment on post though.)
So, this is kind of a John Stewart/Rick Sanchez thing. Is their going to be a Rally to Restore Blogger Sanity?
Thanks again.
(PS. I deleted my other comment because of gross misspellings.)
This is a great post, Liz. Thank you for writing it, and being who you are – as a blogger and a person. I just stumbled across your blog here through some Diabetes Online Community mentions, and will make a point to visit more regularly. Thanks for what you do.
I appreciate you because you seem to be one of the few people who can reason something through all the way – a rare trait these days.
You're also funny as hell, but that's just icing on the smart woman cupcake.
Thanks for posting on this. I just found it so unbelievable that this supposedly media savvy person -whose livelihood is working with bloggers- would act like that. I could understand if she closed comments. Closing and deleting ALL comments would have been ok. Leaving up only comments that agreed with her? Not okay.
I decided yesterday to ignore this topic. Mostly because I'm not of the impression that HFCS has ever been or ever will be healthy and I don't need to argue that point. I just try not to buy tons of stuff with it in there. We all do at times, but there's no way I'm buying that, it's as healthy as honey crap. No matter how many people they get to say it.
What bothers me, is that post written about you last night. I read your post yesterday. As always it was well written, factual and you didn't name call. In turn, you'd of thought, that Mom Central could have shown you the same courtesy. Of course they started off badly and ended up just looking like asses. I wonder if they thought about how it makes them look? My guess would be no. The mom at night comment was a low blow. Rude and unacceptable, in my mind.
I'm not sure that I got the whole borg thing, but I'm not into science fiction. Whatever.
Your sanity and calm in the face of drama is inspiring. Yours is the “mom” blog against which all others should be judged. Truly, the Gold Standard.
Brava!
Keep on keepin' on, Liz.
Pew pew! Pew!
Thanks Alice. I wasn't aware of the profanity claim.
The horrible, bullying, profane comments she mentions are posted on this post. So…
anyway. There's that.
Rock On. I loved your post and continue to. I think you are actually quite level headed compared to what I would write
Continue to own your words – they are worth their weight in gold!
Just FYI: on the post today, MomCentral says (again mentioning you specifically):
Of note: late last night I regrettably had to close and take down all comments to ths blog post as it came under sustained attack along with profanity and trash-talking by those supporters of Mom 101 and HCFS.
But she didn't take ALL the comments down (all of the comments are down this morning, though.)
The explanation still doesn't make sense to me that she had to remove comments that were ALREADY approved and had no profanity, because she was getting other angry comments.
Right on.
(I don't know what the borg would say; all I know about Star Trek is that they had some trouble with tribbles ….)
This issue leaves me all kinds of sick about it. HCFS is bad except when you're being asked to say it's good? This stinks.
Next Comments →