Sometimes she is the most beautiful, take-your-breath-away perfect baby girl ever to grace this planet or any other. When the light hits her face just so, she is an angel and a muse. She could inspire symphonies and frescoed cathedral ceilings and volumes upon volumes of poetry. She could make a criminal confess. She could lead men to claw out their own eyes, confident that they will never again encounter such beauty in their lives.

And sometimes, I’ll be damned if she isn’t the spitting image of Danny Devito as the Penguin.