I Just May Have to Change My View On Baby Showers and Their Overall Suckage

Yesterday was not a great day. Actually, the week has been tough overall. I won’t bore you with tales of a toddler who’s returned to co-not sleeping every night at 11:30 sharp, a back that’s all but given out (Is it true Percocet isn’t great for the fetus? How about heroin?) and what feels like a black and blue cervix by now. Ah, the magical journey of childbirth.

And then.

And then…!

I come across this: A virtual baby shower. For me and Tammie and Christina.

This is easily the best baby shower in the history of baby showers and I’ll tell you why:

1. You can stay in your sweatpants
2. No f*cking diaper cakes
3. No presents required
4. You don’t have to sit around for three hours while I open 67 receiving blankets and pretend to be excited about a six-pack of socks from Old Navy
5. No ribbons will be worn on anyone’s head
6. Who cares if you don’t know anyone there
7. No embarrassing games
8. Get as drunk as you want

The truth is, it’s not a virtual baby shower, not really. Because the love isn’t virtual, the friends aren’t virtual, the advice/assvice I’m getting all over the internets isn’t virtual, and the impact of this all is in no way virtual. Just ask Nate who rolled his eyes at me all day yesterday for shedding real, non-virtual tears over it.

Also? The prizes are totally not virtual. This is a sponsored baby shower. Just like Star Jones would have, only without the gay husband.

All weekend long you can win serious goodies from some of my favorite online shops and baby gear designers, and even one of two $100 gift certificates donated by Queen of Spain (WTF???) towards any of the merchants featured on Cool Mom Picks, right in time for Mother’s Day.

So if it’s okay by the unbelievable hostesses–Kristen, Julie, Catherine and Nancy–and it’s not too gauche, I’d like to invite you to stop by any time this weekend. Even if you’re just a reader/lurker (that’s you, Levin/Jaffe/Cohen/Letts/McDow/Gerloff family) and and not a blogger, guess the new baby’s weight or whatever and win some stuff.

Me and old whats-her-name, we’d be honored.


20 thoughts on “I Just May Have to Change My View On Baby Showers and Their Overall Suckage”

  1. Despite what I said on my blog, I didn’t even mind watching you open 1000 presents (but not mine!) at your first shower. This one, though, is much, much easier (and cheaper!) for me to attend. And, it appears that something is in the air—-many of the kiddos are having restless nights lately. Hope Thalia starts sleeping soon!

  2. “This is a sponsored baby shower. Just like Star Jones would have, only without the gay husband.”i think i love youhee hee hee

  3. I think I was just as stunned and amazed by this as you. So much better than the shower my coworkers didn’t throw for me. Sometimes it’s very easy to see who your real friends are. Even if they’re “virtual”.And OMG, the prizes people can win are awesome! Far better than the Wal-Mart stationary set or the gift box of party mints.

  4. Virtual showers are the way to go. I had a real life virtual shower with Annabel … it got called on account of blizzard twice. I thought that was PERFECT.I really hope you have a wonderful birth the second time around, and I wish you all the best and lots of sleep for you AND Thalia. I won’t bother with any ad/assvice … I think you have it down … maybe you should even accelorate to Mom-102!Love.

  5. Can Jewish girls have baby showers if they’re virtual? I’ll need to know this so I can pimp myself out for #2 when it’s time. I love it!!

  6. I wanted to send some “assvice,” for the official shower, but the week got away from me!I’m sure there will be plenty of sage wisdom coming your way and I can’t wait to read it!

  7. Wow the wonders of modern technology! Sorry to hear that the co-sleeping is making everyone wakeful, we’re having similar issues ourselves [6 years after the event] as it were.Best wishes

  8. Happy baby shower, Liz! I’m eagerly anticipating stories of the new arrival.And um, I was prescribed Percocet for my horrible, HORRIBLE pregnancy migraines and the baby turned out just fine. At first I was concerned, but when the pain was bad enough, I said to hell with it and took the meds (after looking up a thousand stories on the Babycenter boards of women taking Percocet and their babies being fine, of course!!).

  9. Pain meds? I can chat about pain meds, after my horible preg/bed rest experience … feel free to holler anytime.But today is a day for happy things … Day THREE of your virtual baby shower … so enjoy!Wishing you the best!

  10. Oh yeah, I, too, had a Percocet baby. He’s bouncing and without a care in the world, save for the screaming for the occasional vodka tonic. I never had a baby shower but from your description it sounds bad. I always wish that I had, however…

  11. I don’t know you, but I posted some assvice for you anyway, I hope it helps 😉 Congratulations!!

  12. Happy shower to you and baby-soon-to-be-known-as____! I wrote a few little bits of assvice, but you already know it all.

  13. You haven’t picked a name yet? What the hell is wrong with you? 😉Heh.This shower was/is a blast. I still don’t know all the babies in the matching game!

  14. I had a massive computer crash and was off the internet for like 2 weeks straight – and I missed the shower!If I were there, I would have given you a virtual diaper cake. And then you could have virtually screamed at me and I would have virtually cried about it.It could have been a grand time.Hugs and smooches to you, regardless. 🙂

  15. I just came across your blog as I hunt down virtual baby shower ideas, and see you're speaking at Mom 2.0.

    I'll be there, too! Looking forward to it.


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