I Should Be Forced to Wear a Sign That Says “I’m Hormonal and I Have a Blog So Watch Your Step”

To the mom in the vestibule of the restaurant who looked at Thalia and said, “Where are your gloves? Why don’t you have gloves? See how my daughter has gloves? You should be wearing gloves on a day like today…” :

Fuck You.


P.S. Your kid’s clothes were ugly, she shouldn’t be in a stroller at that age, and the name Brooklyn? Beyond terrible. Just in case you wanted my opinion in return.


55 thoughts on “I Should Be Forced to Wear a Sign That Says “I’m Hormonal and I Have a Blog So Watch Your Step””

  1. You could have said “Well, my child is smart enough to put her hands in her pockets when they get cold. Too bad little Brooklyn isn’t.” But that would have been mean to Brooklyn, who I figure is going to have enough problems as is, growing up with a name and a mom like that.

  2. I have to agree with metro mama. What a bitch. There’s no way Cordy will wear gloves, and I have been scolded for not putting gloves on her more than once. Even my mom commented on it once, and I handed her a pair of gloves and said, “Go ahead. Try it.” After five minutes of Cordy swatting at her, thrashing and screaming, she gave up. And I really hate when bitchy sanctimommies criticize you via talking to your child. Makes you want to look at her child and say, “How did your mommy get to be such a bitch. You should really have a better mommy than that.”

  3. I hope you weren’t actually IN Brooklyn when you came across Li’l Brooklyn and her Mommy. That would be inexcusably horrifying. It would be like me naming my daughter Portland.Actually, maybe she’s on to something! You can name #2 Los Angeles in anticipation of your move.

  4. You need to teach your daughter to say, “Mind your own beeswax, woman”. “I ate my gloves, because my Mom doesnt feed me.” Although, a sign would be nice, too.

  5. Gah. A sanctimommy.I suppose it would be in bad form to teach her to say “Grandma?” in response to that question?

  6. We live in Florida and Get a lot of nasty old biddies commenting on the fact that our son isn’t wearing shoes. IT IS FLORIDA! Shoes are for shopping malls, grocery stores and church!!! So we don’t let him wander around shoeless in public just only when he is in the shopping cart. One lady today said that he is going to catch a cold or pneumonia… lady it was 68F out and bare feet don’t equal colds! Rubbing your nasty germ infected hands on the shopping cart may cause him a cold… but certainly NOT his bare feet!Why can’t people just bite their tongues. We now resond with a nice little “THEN CALL CHILD SERVICES ON US!”

  7. Ah. Passive-aggressive sanctimommying. Lovely. How about, “Oh, it’s OK– her hands are warm because SHE WALKED HERE and didn’t get wind chill from the stroller. Ahem.”(I don’t quite get the city names. I live in Massachusetts and would not name a daughter Chelsea.)

  8. Thank GOD for blogs, otherwise you might have had to confront her.For me? Today? I’d be telling myself off.It was like 30 degrees and windy and we went to the Easter egg hunt sans gloves. All of us. I kept kicking myself in the ass. But then as I looked around at the hundreds of people who were there … more than half of us were similarly illprepared. Of course the whole “where are your gloves?” business. Not cool.

  9. Ugh. Why do people feel the need to do that? Especially to an expectant mother?Stupid, nosy woman.

  10. I live in California, and was initially very confused by the glove comment. It’s 70 degrees here year round so my first thought was, “Easter’s TOMORROW, and who wears white gloves anymore, anyway – especially children! Was it cotillion class or something? ” But I guess it’s cold out there, huh? Yeah, I may be dumb Californian — but at least I’m not dumb AND PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE like that lady who told you daughter she should be wearing gloves. Whateves. Doesn’t she know that you’re not supposed to mess with the pregnant ladies? ~ Suzannehttp://sbfrogger.blogspot.com/

  11. Those fucking sanctimommies are shapeshifters, aren’t they?As my father used to say to little busybody me: MYOB.I do have to snicker at a woman who names her child after the borough in which she lives. Or any borough, for that matter.

  12. hold the effing presses – you didn’t have thalia in gloves? what’s your problem? she at least owns some, right? those little white fingerless gloves like madonna had in the “like a virgin” video? no self-respecting mother could raise a daughter without those. trust me, i know. i’m very well-adjusted, and i owe it all to my fake lace crap- i mean, gloves.

  13. Too bad you didn’t actually tell her to fuck off…. I can’t stand it when people offer their unsolicited opion of my parenting decisions. Like my stupid MIL who thought the need to call me at 10PM and tell me that I need to be sure and bring the kids winter coats tomorrow because its going to be in the 30’s…. “Yeah, I woke up last night with 2 kids and no idea that we live in a cold climate. Thanks for the heads up. Bitch”

  14. I completely agree with Madge. I’m tired of all these stupid women in Wisconsin naming their daughters Madison. For the sake of UW-college students everywhere….enough of the damned Madisons!!The woman, should have been punched. You totally could have gotten away with it.

  15. I HATE when people do that! There used to be this lady (I killed her) that would always try to zip my daughters coat for her after my son’s karate class. If I wanted it zipped, I would zip it! (I didn’t really kill her. We just stopped going to karate class.)But, I had to tell you that I adore the name Brooklyn. Although I’m sure THAT Brooklyn was a total bitch. Stupid glove wearing little bitch. 😉

  16. You know Posh Spice and David Beckham named one of their sons, “Brooklyn.” Yes, I said sons.

  17. What is it about NYC and gloves? We once nearly caused an older man to have a coronary right there on the sidewalk because toddler Ben wasn’t wearing gloves. “How DARE you?,” he screamed.We had the gloves with us, but Ben kept pulling them off.Asshats, all of them. Don’t they have better things to do than mind other people’s business? Apparently not.

  18. At least you can dismiss her as the butt head she is. Poor little Brooklyn is doomed for life or at least until she reaches the age when she can change her own name.

  19. Everyone knows making kids wear gloves is wrong, because it makes it much harder for the kids to extend their middle fingers.

  20. My suggestion of Brooke Lynn was a joke; I had no idea that people were naming their children Brooklyn. I am probably your mother’s age and was never blessed with children. I don’t understand Emerson & Madison for girl’s names, however my grandparents probably didn’t understand Kathleen. Here are some more suggestions, some or all are jokes – I’m not saying which because I don’t want to offend anyone:Bella DonnaMay FlowerRoseMadeline Harriet (Mata Hari for short)KerryHarley QuinnChloePetraPortiaNatalieMona LizaMarie Antoinette

  21. HAHAHA!I really dislike the phrase ‘I heart you’ but if I didn’t, I’d say that to you right now, I would.Because I do. Truly.

  22. It’s nice to be a guy sometimes. Other moms don’t give you shit when your daughter isn’t wearing a coat, or a hat, or pants. They just look at you, with amazement, that the child is not on fire. I’m just sayin’. It’s kinda nice. Don’t name your child after a city of a state, Liz. There are more “Dakotas” per capita out here in L.A. than there needs to be…

  23. If there’s any justice in this world she reads your blog, and is dying a slow death of embarrassment right now.Barring that, perhaps she’ll have a small little accident while wearing an oh so appropriate for spring white skirt next month!

  24. I hate that kind of passive-aggression. Of course, the bitch was really addressing you because–Sweet Jebus–she can’t really think that Thalia’s capable of saying: “Mmm…it looks a tad chilly out today so, you’d better pack my gloves for our outing and throw in a knit cap and scarf while you’re at it”. So it’s a comment on you without being brave (or nosy enough) to say it to your face. I hate people like that. You should have looked at that woman squarely in the face and said, “I’m sorry, but not allowing her to wear gloves when it’s cold is our way of discipining her. It works so much better than witholding food or water. Please don’t interfere with our parenting methods”. And then walk away.

  25. I actually like the name Chloe.Too fucking funny. I see kids in our store all the time without shoes, coats, etc. I assume it’s because they threw a freaking tantrum about wearing said clothes, not that the parent is an idiot. It’s New York for pete’s sake, it’s cold!

  26. What at beotch. She should know better than to mess with a pregnant lady. You are a superstar for not slugging her.

  27. Marry me!! Seriously, what a bitch! Fuck her and the fucking stroller-riding little spawn anyway.Ok — NOW who’s hormonal?*raises hand*

  28. I guess the appropriate response to that one is to look at “Brooklyn” *gag* and say:“Now why are you in a stroller at your age. See my little girl? She’s not in a stroller. You shouldn’t be either. Really, you are much too big to be in a stroller, <>Brooklyn<>.”People should really learn to mind their own business.

  29. Gloves??? What year did you find yourself in? 1837? And what respectible NYer names their kid BROOKLYN when you live in it?!?! Hi, here is my kid, Schenectady; this way if he’s ever lost, they’ll know where to send him. Blah.Oh, and I am hoping to see some kick-ass Easter eggs again this year. No? Yes?

  30. Oh, wait a minute. Maybe I’m the hormonal bitch. I thought you meant “white gloves” as in “Easter gloves”. If you just mean cold-weather gloves, I still spit on them. My youngest will not wear ANYTHING on his hands, even playing in the snow. He just comes to me when they are so cold he can no longer bend his fingers and begs me to warm them up for him. Hats too. Ok, on with the less insane comments.

  31. F.O.M.: Yes, wooly gloves. And there’s no way they were locals. But boy, were they proud to be in Brooklyn with their little Brooklyn.

  32. My MIL did the same passive-aggressive shit with me today when I sent the kids out to play. So fucking irritating.

  33. You needed to hand that woman your business card and say “thanks SO MUCH for your comment. You can read all about on my blog tomorrow.”And hey, for a name? Do like Penn Jillette and name her Moxie Crimefighter!

  34. Feeling stupid – it took me all the way until Suzanne’s comment to realize that you meant winter gloves, not white Easter gloves. I was going to provide you a drippy vintage quote (since you were in a restaurant) – “It is as vulgar to eat while wearing gloves as it is to dance without them.” This must be said while looking down one’s nose.

  35. Too true my blogging friend.You tell that bitch…..You should have said….“I’m sorry, I think my daughter left her gloves up your arse…”The lines are always available though once you’ve suffered the ordeal…

  36. Don’t blame hormones! She’s a cow bitch. Nothing to do with you. All bow down to the glories of the blog!

  37. Clearly, poor Brooklyn must have been harangued into total submission by her lovely mother long ago, elsewise the possibility that a toddler might REFUSE to wear gloves, and repeatedly take them off until said child’s parent gives up and lets the toddler’s hands get cold already if that’s the way the kid wants it, might have occurred to this woman. Clearly, poor Brooklyn’s mother was also on drugs during her entire pregnancy, or she would have remembered that being, you know, hugely with child AND towing a toddler might cause a mother with a quick errand to run to have enough issues getting out the door without trying to find some damned mittens that her kid probably stashed in the refrigerator. Behind the vodka. At least you know one more name you WON’T be naming Clintonia Portia.

  38. P.S. LMAO at Harley Quinn, Kathy.I was acquainted with a couple once who actually seriously considered naming a future child Clark Kent. However, they divorced before they had any children . . .

  39. I love Tater and Tots response. Love it!Whenever I hear of a kid named “Brooklyn” I immediately break into a chorus of the famed Beastie Boy’s song. I can’t help it.

  40. God, Brooklyn, really? We live up here in Massachusetts where names like Emma and Cody are big but never a Brooklyn. I’m definitely going to think of you and laugh when the next wave of baby names in these parts comes to include Dorchester or Roxbury or Newton. Brooklyn! That’s a classic.

  41. Maybe she just felt stupid because her daughter was the ONLY ONE wearing gloves.Stupid Asshole People.

  42. Total be-otch. Some people are obsessed with whether kids are cold (my MIL is a freak about it) – I just figured it was a generational thing, but this woman was probably not a grandma? I’m totally surprised my coworker didn’t mention gloves, b/c I’m sure she wasn’t wearing any either.

  43. Hee hee. And I had a grandma type wearing a sweatshirt halfway down her thighs ask me, “Isn’t your baby cold?” when it was 80 degrees outside.

  44. Perhaps, she doesn’t mean anything or just showing her concern of to your daughter. Take things easy, provoking the situation won’t help. I know what you feel about it and can’t blame you for feeling that way for your a mom and it’s normal to protect our child against anything that hurts them in words and actions. But it also doesn’t mean that we get into fight or insult back the person. Just think of it that you were more fortunate compared to her for you were not a NARROW minded and PATHETIC.:)

Comments are closed.