It’s a Hell of a Town

I think that I’m a social person, with a decent enough social life. But it’s not until I actually get dressed up and head out on the town that I realize I have sadly confused getting out with going out.

Getting out, most often with the kids, generally does not lead to the following:

1. Witnessing four EMTs in Times Square performing CPR on a guy on the street who may, from the look of it, have already been dead. I was scared to tell Dana this moments later at the sk*rt meetup for fear that she would run back to the midwest, never again to return to the big, scary city which her mother already told her would lead to her kidnapping or murder or worse – We might turn her liberal!

2. A black, thugged-out Lincoln Navigator parked in front of the Scientology center, which, when I went to take a picture for a potential blog post (a celebrity in the Scientology center!) changed my impression of the situation: Through the tinted windows, hard core porn was clearly visible on two drop-down screens on the back seat. My flash accidentally went off (d’oh!) at which point the occupants instantly shut off the video and turned towards me.

I ran. Oh yes I did. For I do not think it was Tom and Katie back there.

3. A drunk Irish guy telling me, You’re the preeeetiesh mohsh beauful girl that I eeeever saw. D’yu haveaboyfren? Tellimees the luuuuuckiesh man ever. You tellem I said it. You tellimthat. Oh wait…you can’t take my pishur. You can’t puhme on the internet. You haffto erase that. I’ve done shum things, you know? I’ve done shumthigs I’m not proud of…d’yu have a boyfren?

4. Dinner consisting of a glass of wine, a mojito with Anna, and a bag of potato chips. But it was sour cream and onion, so that’s two vegetables right there.

I have to get out more.


24 thoughts on “It’s a Hell of a Town”

  1. Man – you are giving me a lot to look forward to! I will be in NY for the first time in May. Can’t wait to swing by the Scientology Center! :o)

  2. that thing with the SUV, funny as hellis it sad that I’ve seen cars going 90 on the highway with the same sort of thing playing in the FRONT seat?

  3. …and you forgot that the sour cream counts as a serving of dairy, the wine has grapes in it (fruit!) and all that clicking you did with the camera is increasing the muscle tone in your finger. Plus there’s no calories in food after 6:00 pm. It’s a scientific fact.

  4. You see everything in Times Square still, even if it is all cleaned and prettied and gentrified-like. I think, though, the white stretch SUVs are still the car that makes me laugh the most. Of course, I’ve never seen hardcore porn playing in one, so that changes the equation a bit, don’t it?

  5. OHMAHGAWD, the convo with the irish guy? Sounds sooo much like the one I had on the subway when I was eight 1/2 months pregnant! Except I didn’t remember most of what he said until now because I kept praying he wasn’t going to pee on me.

  6. I went through years of being so desperate to get out and my husband (who traveled all week) never wanted to. I’d sit at home working (freelance editing) and taking care of babies and at night I’d feel like a freak — just about ready to beg strangers to party with me. I just missed lively human contact so much.Now my kids are teenagers and I get out much more often and I LOVE it. It makes me feel energized and vibrant. My husband still doesn’t like it much, but I will now often go out alone, to readings or workshops etc., or with friends. It seems to fill a need in me, and he gets a break too.Katrin

  7. Oh yeah, the Irish are particularly attractive when drunk. Yeah.

  8. Hello, first time reader and commenter here 🙂My dinner often consists of chips with sour cream and onion dip – definitely counts toward the two vegetables whether it’s on the chip or you dip the chip into it. And remember, wine comes from fruit – so you are doing great in the fruit and veggie department all around! 🙂

  9. It’s a good thing my mom doesn’t read blogs, because then I’d have to suffer through many I-told-you-so’s. And I took the subway again today. All the way to Union Square. And I walked to Washington Square and toured more of Greenwich Village. I was gonna hit SoHo, like you suggested, but I lost my map and wasn’t sure which direction to go in. I remembered at 34th St that SoHo is South. Of Houston. It’s all coming back to me now.So good to see you last night! And thank you for all the good advice you gave me. I’m so glad I decided to venture to the Big Apple. 🙂 Now, I just need to convince the hubs to take a trip like this with me next year!

  10. wow, what a night! And chips are a totally accepted form of veggies. Just like pie is an accepted for of fruit 🙂

  11. You know, the tabloids would pay big bucks for your picture of Tom and Katie watching porn in the back of a Navigator.(Sorry, but I love a good rumor. This must be how the Richard Gere/Hamster story got started…)

  12. Sounds like great fun!I had the same realization as you about “getting out” vs. “going out” just this week. My old MTV colleagues are in Dar and asking me to show them what’s hot.Damned if I know. I haven’t been out past midnight in a year!

  13. I laughed so hard at this post. It takes me weeks to plan getting out and then I often feel like a deer in the headlights when it actually happens.And if I can make it to 10pm without yawning, I consider that a badge of honour!

  14. A night out is just not a night out unless a drunk guy hits on you ineptly and you accidentally stumble upon some people watching porn.(And the fact that my captcha is “kuntlk” only proves I was destined to leave this comment.)

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