On cupcakes, craftiness, and me having neither right now

“Good morning Sagey!”


“Did you have a good nights sleep?”




“No cupcakes honey, it’s 7 AM. Do you want breakfast?”


I do not exaggerate when I say that lately the girls are entirely obsessed with cupcakes. Ever since Nate rocked that tray of them for Thalia’s very important half birthday, all they want to do is talk about cupcakes, dream about cupcakes, bargain for cupcakes, roll around naked in cupcakes.

This morning, in an effort to cut back on TV, we hit flick’r to search for pictures of cupcakes. And like some horny adolescent who discovered his dad’s “secret” bookmarks, the girls ooh and ahh and drool and clap and get just a little too excited over the dozens of photos of sugar and flour and mounds of neon frosting.

(At least there’s no high fructose corn syrup in the homemade stuff?)

Then today on Tastespotting, the ultimate home of food porn, I stumbled across the single cutest freaking cupcake I’ve ever seen – Groundhog’s Day Cupcakes from the most awesomely named The Food in My Beard.

And suddenly I feel like the crap mom who doesn’t have the crafty genes to turn an Almond Joy and some crushed Oreos into a thing of undisputed caloric beauty – just the laptop to click and gawk at someone else’s creativity.

The Valentine’s cards we try to make suck, the Scotch tape in my gift wrap is always filled with dog hair, and Nate won’t even let me near a pastry bag to decorate a cake. Heck, I can’t even get in two straight pigtails on Thalia’s head.

Don’t tell me “You can do it!” either. Allow me remind you what happened the last time I tried knitting.


40 thoughts on “On cupcakes, craftiness, and me having neither right now”

  1. Oh, and as long as I get to be first commenter: at Sophie’s first birthday parties, a glamorous friend brought over elaborate homemade cupcakes. They were lady-bugs, with licorice antenna and other details I would never have thought of. They were a work of art. And what do you think the kids all ate? My mundane, square, ginger-pumpkin cake. It looked like nothing special, but it was tasty.So, you know, some moms have perfect make-up, some have perfect cleanliness, some have perfect cupcakes, some have perfect bodies, some have perfect attitudes. No one does it all. I choose attitude.

  2. Kinda off topic, but just as I scrolled onto that darling cupcake photo, I bit into the almond in an Almond Joy. I furrowed my brown when I realized the little groundhog was made of one. Weird.

  3. Hey, you don’t HAVE to do it! Truly, the reason those fancy cupcakes and treats stand out is because most of us CAN’T do it. Or at least don’t care enough to do it…And, for breakfast. Two words. Banana. Muffins.Call ’em cupcakes.Voila.

  4. I can craft, but I can’t do pigtails to save my life. I am always amazed by moms who can do fancy hairstyles, and by kids who sit still for the process. And then don’t rip the fancy ‘do out right away because it’s ‘uncomfortable’.

  5. You must read “pinkalicious”… all about only eating cupcakes… 🙂

  6. I’m with Elaine. Do you want perfect cupcakes or perfect children?Wait, you don’t want perfect children. They’re boring.How about perfect boobs? You can get those from a surgeon.

  7. I am not crafty at all ( I swear I really am not). I bought this book “Hello Cupcake” and just made some awesome shark cupcakes. Check out my blog and scroll back to January 24th to see them. If I can do it, you can. I just need some directions to follow.

  8. Honey, with the Oreos and Almond Joys, you would’ve been adding tons of HFCS. So you should feel virtuous about your lack of craftiness.(Yeah, my kids have moved beyond cupcakes straight on to CANDY. “CANDY!” Unfortunately Amy’s Organics doesn’t provide candy.)

  9. I’ve turned my four year old on to web cupcake porn. It started innocently enough with Cake Wrecks, and just escalated from there. Did you know they’re on youtube also? The first one is free – you’ll be back for more mwaahahahahaAnd I think my left pinkie toe is perfect, is that enough?

  10. Why try? I say, take the kids to a bakery, get them cupcakes. Get them cupcakes for every meal until they’re sick of them. I swear, it will happen before they’re 35. Didn’t you read “bread and jam for Francis”?

  11. Cupcakes aren’t quite the same over here… smaller…and I can’t criticize a child’s desire for one first thing in the morning… says the mom who grabbed the last piece of brownie and stuffed it in her mouth in lieu of breakfast on this morning’s race out the door.At least I got my boys fed properly first. sigh

  12. The only thing I want to be able to do that could be consider ‘crafty’ is cook without a recipe. And maybe work a pastry bag without getting half the frosting up to my elbows. The rest of the crafty stuff? I’m happy to support those people out there who can do it and are willing to sell it to me.Besides, you may not be able to wrap a gift without some of Emily tagging along, but you can WRITE, which is about the best talent you can get.

  13. I have a serious problem with baking.. I bake way too much and spend way too much time decorating. I spend atleast 3 hours on decorating birthday cakes. I need help, I need medication… I need a baker’s anonymous group…Thanks for the links!

  14. Hey, the only reason you should be trying to create Oreo-covered things of wonder is if YOU enjoy it. Kids get a kick out of new ideas, no matter what they are, and whilst your girls may LOVE to create Groundhog cupcakes, chances are they’d be just as happy with a nice fluffy chocolate number from Magnolia Bakery. And then you can go on to do your OWN thing with them, the one that makes you giddy with joy.I am a lover of baking, craftiness, etc, and my kids could care less. So there you go. I do it because I like it.

  15. Ha! I feel your pain: my daughter’s obsessed with cupcakes, too; and there’s always cat hair in my scotch tape…. (recycled) Gift bags all the way….

  16. Thanks for the link, that is a cool site! You think you’re kids are bad, I brought home a tray of cupcakes left over after my baby shower and my husband demolished half of them while I was out shopping!

  17. Buy the cupcakes, it’s much easier. And less mess. Ace of Cakes and Food Network Challenge when they make crazy cakes are my girls favorite shows right now. Then we make slice and bake cookies and we are all happy. There is a parent of one of the girls friends, who is one of those perfect moms. The one that we all talk about. But her kids are so freaking neurotic. They are afraid of everything, they won’t get dirty, they don’t know how to play…but they make homemade treats for every occasion and homemade bird bath houses with toothpicks or something all the time. I’ll take messy kids and store bought treats any day over that.

  18. Cupcakes! Yum! I think Bill Cosby had something fun to say about cake for breakfast. And your Scotch tape observation? I thought Scotch tape came with animal hair in it. You are one funny mom Ms. 101! -M

  19. Dammit woman, now I want cupcakes! (And my cupcakes come out of a box and are frosted out of a can.)

  20. Don’t feel bad about not being able to make those cupcakes! Just think about all the sugar you’re really preventing your kiddos from eating! (There’s got to be high fructose corn syrup somewhere in there!) We make “milkshakes” for our breakfast. Recipe: frozen banana, frozen strawberries (or other fruit), little oatmeal, and milk. Healthy, but since it’s a “milkshake,” my son thinks it’s a treat! (No crafting skills required!)

  21. I will say, as someone who is fairly crafty, I envy your mad writing skills. I wish I could be creative but I’m a “just the facts” kind of girl. And Amen to Elaine’s comment…well said! I’m definitely not the perfect make up mom as I sit here at 12:45 pm sans bra still in my pj’s and my amazingly disheveled hair.

  22. Oh how I adore cupcakes! I could sit and look at them all day too. I could totally hang with your girls! ; )

  23. Hi. I just wanted to mention to Kimberly (and everyone else) that my sister, who is a hometown friend of Mom101, actually has a blog for the not so crafty among us. It is called Knot Sew Crafty, and can be found at knotsewcrafty.typepad.com. I’m sure she’d love for you guys to drop by.

  24. Um, yeah. Domestic zero here. While I can knit (but nothing fancier than a basic knit stitch), I’m a failure at anything involving a kitchen. And don’t get me started on decorating and crafting with the kids – there’s a reason our walls are still bare and white, and the only crafts we have are things Cordy brings home from school. Cordy will be lucky if I remember to buy the little cartoon-character valentines in time for her class party. Who has time to make cutesy valentines?

  25. Aw Julia, you’re a good sister. (And hey – thanks for stopping by.)I’ll happily vow for < HREF="http://knotsewcrafty.typepad.com" REL="nofollow">Knot Sew Crafty<> myself which is even in my blogroll. Better living through vicarious craftiness.

  26. No way I’m going to tell you “you can do it!” – I can’t do it either. I can bake pretty delicious cupcakes, but I’m useless at crafts, so the moment the baking turns into art class, that’s when I stop.Hey, the way I see it those cupcakes are too cute to eat, anyway. And I definitely want to eat my cupcakes. Especially the chocolate coconut ones. mmmmmm…

  27. I’m with Tracey… sweet muffins are as good as cupcakes in the morning. I found a delicious recipe on allrecipes.com for muffins with cream cheese and strawberry jam in the middle. Mmmmm.

  28. I’m not crafty either, and I’m cool with that (most of the time). My son’s been going through a cupcake phase himself. I can’t say that I blame him!

  29. Okay, you’re cracking me up. So glad I just found your blog (wish it weren’t so late in the pm… you’ve kept me up way too late.) and I can’t wait to read more! Thanks for your take!

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