Paying it forward with tampons and booze

I got home last night to a most happy of all possible happy emails, explaining that I had somehow, through the miracle of good karma (I held the elevator door open a lot for old ladies this week)–or more likely, random number generators–won one of several scholarships to cover BlogHer expenses courtesy of Johnson & Johnson.


(Did I mention…Whoo!)

Now it just so happens that J&J are the makers of my favorite tampons, brand loyalty that was probably established back when my mom handed OBs out at my birthday party to all of my third grade friends who dunked them in water to watch them expand, laughed until they cried and then plotted my rapid social demise. To this day, some of those girls (hi Tamar) still say, Hey remember that time when your mom gave us all OB tampons at your birthday party?

Good times.

The whole scholarship thing is particularly sweet, what with the sigOth earning zero dollars an hour these days, and two growing children who occasionally need to be fed and watered. But still, I’m all about sharing the love and paying it forward.

I would like to buy five BlogHer attendees a drink and a box of OB tampons.

To enter, leave a comment here and tell me your funniest or most embarrassing grade school story. If you’re too embarrassed, tell me the funniest or most embarrassing grade school story that “happened to someone else.” You know…that other person. Yeah, her.

For an extra entry, tweet that you love @Mom101 more than bacon.

For fourteen extra entries, write Mom101 is my hero on a public bathroom wall, photograph it and upload it to a flick’r page

For six extra entries write a letter of recommendation about Mom101’s hilarious writing and send it to McSweeney’s and the publisher of Chronicle books, then post it on stumble upon, and then for an extra two entries explain to me how to navigate stumble upon so I can actually find it.

For 92 extra entries, post a badge on your blog with a picture of my head photoshopped onto Salma Hayak’s body.

For 147,005 extra entries and free OBs for life, fly to Alaska, play ding dong ditch at the Palin residence wearing a Mom-101 t-shirt, videotape it and upload it to YouTube.

For one hundred million extra entries, admit that you hate giveaways that demand that you jump through hoops for some $4.99 drugstore item and we’ll toast to it together at Blogher.

Seriously I will totally buy five random people a drink at BlogHer. Tampons optional. Tell me an embarrassing grade school story and I’ll pick five people at random. Contest ends whenever I feel like it. It will be your job to track me down at the conference though. The party schedule is intense.

But the truth is we’ll all have plenty of free drink tickets and like Anissa Mayhew suggested on Twitter, you can always make friends with a Mormon and nab hers.

And hey, thanks J&J. You guys are swell for supporting women bloggers like this. Fist to the chest.

Now I hope I haven’t made you totally regret your decision.

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