My totally surreal Blogher weekend, complete with blurry iPhone photos! Part I

This was one of those weekends after which I stepped out of my body, looked at myself and thought, how did I get here? Then I put on a giant white suit and smacked myself in the forehead a few times.

(Sorry, 80’s humor.)

I don’t think I can get through it all in one post, what with me actually having work to do, children to see, and the undue influence of Metro Dad, Bossy, Miss Grace, Laid Off Dad, and their good friend Vodka with a Splash of Cranberry But Not Really to sleep off.

So let’s just start with Thursday. And just the surreal moments. Or you’ll be here all day.

Thursday 6:45 AM
Town car shows up to whisk me to my Today Show appearance. My as in me. On the Today Show. Talking to the gorgeous, gracious Meredith Viera about cool back to school picks from the Cool Mom Picks Back to School Shopping Guide. The professional hair and makeup was so fabulous, I didn’t wash my hair for the rest of the weekend, as 2400 Blogher conference attendees can attest. Watch the clip here.

Photo: Alicia Ybarbo. Hair: Definitely not me.
Oh my God, my head is big.
Photo: Emily McKhann
Friends in the control room being supportive. That I know of.

Isabel, Emily, Kristen, Catherine

I’m not sure exactly what part was more surreal – getting my hair done next to Jean Chatsky (who I have a huge girl crush on); smelling Ree Drummond‘s yummy beef live and in person (that’s not a euphemism); knowing some of my best friends in the world were sending me “don’t throw up on live TV” vibes from the control room; or spending time in the green room with The Real Housewife of I Crashed the White House.

Hi. I’m the stumpy one on the right.

2:30 PM
I start checking into the Hilton with my roommate Christina (who has a fancy new .com domain!) and realize I pretty recognize no one on line besides Amalah. Considering this is my fifth Blogher conference, that means whoa, there are a hellalot of people here.

And come to think of it, I didn’t recognize Amy at first either, what with the pretty new red hair.

5:04 PM
I have been at the hotel for 2.5 hours now and there is no drama. Where is the drama, people? Everyone is being nice to each other and hugging and generally having fun. The only drama took place on an Air Canada flight the night before and had nothing to do with swag or Crocs or fist fights in a bowling alley.

I think to myself, the hatahs will be distraught.

5:05 PM
Hijacked an illegal Town Car with Kristen, Asha, Tina. Hey, it was rush hour. And we were in heels.

Blurry iPhone photo as promised. I’m a woman of my word.

5:40 PM
A champagne toast with some of my favorite peoples.

Laura and Maggie, whose nice camera takes non-blurry photos.
Jenny Lawson reinterprets the champagne toast in her own inimitable Bloggess kind of way.

No idea at all what’s happening here, but I saw it in Maggie’s set and it is definitely surreal, so I grabbed it.

Dinner with some of the coolest people on the planet; too many to link here. Photos too blurry even for this post. And some really spicy crab taquitos.

Prostitute in the Hilton lobby bar. Or wait – maybe a sophmore from college with her great-uncle and his best friend heading out to uh…something. I’m thinking a late night backstage meet and greet with the cast of Wicked? And she just so happens to be wearing drag queen boots? Maybe that’s how the kids are dressing at the U of Ohio these days.

Next post: Two wardrobe malfunctions, the dance-off of the century (complete with scary video), misinterpreted tweets, celebrity contact, and a United States Senator. Not all together.

So, how was your weekend?

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