I kissed a boy

Today for no good reason at all, I was compelled to go to Facebook and look up the first boy I ever kissed.

I still remember the game of 7 Minutes in Heaven at gymnastics camp, scampering up into the sand dunes with him, away from the circles of giggling kids. The sand was cool. The air was perfect, and the waves of the Long Island Sound crashed below us. I let him kiss me. He asked me if it was my first time. I may have lied.

I was nervous. It was nice. We kissed again. My heart raced.

The next day, he liked someone else instead. She was older. She had blonde hair and wore thick, slick pink lip gloss. She was always rubbing her lips together. She could do full splits. She lived in the city. I didn’t stand a chance.

Today I saw his face for the first time in 30 years. He’s adorable. He’s also a fan of Living with Wine and Gay List Daily.

I have that effect on some ten year-olds.

Who was the first boy you ever kissed? Where is he now?


59 thoughts on “I kissed a boy”

  1. Ha! We all have our gay ex-boyfriends, don't we? Mine went to Curtis Institute of Music for Organ Performance. No, I can't make this stuff up. But, you know, by the time I dated him in high school, he was already in that transitional “no, really, I'm bisexual!” phase that nearly every gay boy I knew in college tried to pull.

    As for the first boy I ever kissed, he just finished a bike ride from North Carolina to Utah (he was moving, and decided to bike there instead of, you know, drive or fly). He works in higher ed doing violence prevention with college men. He was a women's studies major at the University of Utah but is not, as it turns out, gay. He's just Marty.

  2. Nathan. Under a trampoline in his backyard. We were ten. Truth or dare. Ahem.

    He actually used to live in the same neighborhood as me in Los Angeles. Nice guy. Married. Two kids, about your girls ages. Stock broker or something like that.

  3. Joseph L. Sixth grade, Spin the b
    Bottle. He's in jail now, last I heard.

  4. My gay ex-boyfriend came out of the closet while we were dating. Ouch. Of course he was awesome about it (“I wanted to try dating you because I really like you, but I just am not like that”), and we are still good friends. Probably the easiest breakup I ever had, because there's nothing you can do about it.
    The first boy I ever kissed layed one on me on the school bus in 9th grade. It was not awesome, although at the time I thought it was SOOOOO CUUUUTTEEEE. Puke.

  5. Have the gay ex boy friend story too. Wasted a few years of my life there – a bit like Julianne Moore in A Single Man. But I wasn't so glamorous.

    First boy I kissed? At a cricket club, a slow dance to Three Times a Lady by 10cc and he kept sticking his fingers through the holes in my mohair jumper.

  6. Chris. He kissed me in the neighbourhood 7-Eleven. I was in grade 8, he was in grade 9. We actually ended up “dating” a while after that. Now he is a pilot, married with a newborn daughter. Still a friend on Facebook…

  7. Am I the only one who fell for the ol' “You have freckles on your lips, I wonder what they taste like,” line?

  8. I can't remember his name to be honest, probably cuz I was hoping it was his best friend who would kiss me. I fell for the “Bet I can kiss you w/o touching you line? I lose. Wanna bet me?”

  9. Oh gosh- I've checked and he is not on Facebook! But I saw photos of him and yowch.

    I was a goody goody (surprise surprise) so I didn't kiss until like 8th grade and my very first kiss EVER was a French kiss!


  10. Fernando. Or, maybe it was Tommy. Nope, I remember, because ABBA was very popular at the time (I know, I'm old, shuddup!) yeah, definitely Fernando.

  11. His name is Ralph (my sister just spit-laughed across the keyboard if she is reading this), he lives on my mother's pond and has a lovely wife and a couple of kids. We were under a sheet, listening to “Silly Love Songs” by Wings. It was just that once.

    It was either him, or the 2nd grade boys I chased during “Kiss Tag”. I was a hussy.

  12. My first kiss was with a boy named Lucky Beach. No lie. I tried to Google him a few years ago….. I got every resort you can imagine, some of them clothing-optional.

  13. The first guy I ever kissed become my fiance just a few months later. It is a long and sorted tale. But my first kiss was at 15 with a guy I was NOT physically attracted to him….but like I said long and sorted tale. Not one I like to think back on.

  14. ooh, I found my first kiss too. He's married, still in the army, and has 5 kids.

    Never would have pictured any of that from Mr. Frat Guy

  15. Chuck Johnson. There are 7,500 of them on Facebook. We were in the 7th grade, we went into an empty hallway during lunch, and he planted a French Kiss on me that I have never forgotten to this day. Where he learned to kiss like that I have NO idea.

  16. The guy who first kissed me is trying to fashion himself a self-help guru. He is not gay, but likes to post trite little quotes about the nature of the universe.

    It is weird.

  17. Mike Bettencourt, 8th grade. He was my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. We actually went together for maybe 4 months (he was in high school, which gave me serious street cred). I have no idea what has happened to him…

  18. I am actually married to the first boy I ever really kissed. And, for that matter, the only boy I ever really kissed. I didn't actually plan it this way, but this is how life works sometimes. Who knew, on that fateful day, that I'd end up here?

  19. The fact that you met him at gymnastics camp may have been a clue. Just guessing. 😉

    I am… not entirely sure who my first kiss was. Which makes me sound sort of slutastic or maybe just really forgetful. But I have it narrowed down to two guys who were early boyfriends (read: junior high) where there was a lot of holding hands and may or may not have been actual kissing.

    I know who was my first REAL kiss, though. We're FB friends. (Am also FB friends with a guy whom I deflowered many years ago. Pretty sure his wife has forbidden him to talk to me, though.)

  20. A boy named Todd at summer camp after a dance. Haven't seen him since. It was an extremely awkward experience. Quite yucky, really.

  21. For me it is close to impossible to find girls from my past, since they still do that 'lady takes husbands last name' thing in Germany … thus they can just vanish …

    I still know the name of the first girl I french kissed with … but .. similar thing, next day – no recognition …

    On the other hand, turning girls gay … i had some more success in THAT 🙂

  22. His name was Stephen and he was in my first grade class when we lived on an Air Force Base in San Antonio. We were learning sign language in class and they taught us “I love you” and I apparently “pointed” it at him. His friends all teased him and he got really embarrassed but later, at recess, he ran up and kissed me and then ran away again.

    Funny how 20-something years later, I marry a guy named Stephen. =)

  23. Ian. On his couch while watching “Alien” on TV. I had never seen it and to this day never have because I was so frightened by the kiss I ran out.

    Gosh… I hadn't even thought to look him up in this age of Facebook! Of course, I'm going to have to do that immediately! If only I could remember his last name.

  24. there's a running joke in our family that all of the girls my brother dated turned out to be lesbians…

    i don't think i have any gay ex-boyfriends, curiously.

  25. i didn't answer the question, did i? it's too complicated and he was rather nuts and yeah, i know where he is, but (i think) he doesn't know where i am…

  26. My first kiss actually was my first love and one of my best friends. Frank and we kissed when watching Pretty Woman, trying the Richard Gere/ Julia Roberts’s thing. Obviously it wasn’t the same but was memorable we were 13 at the time.
    He‘s married now and a prosecutor. So weird.. But he was a great kisser.
    We bump on each other now and then because our families are friends since before we were born. But my husband can’t stand him you know because he was my first love.
    But my hubby was my first so he’s kind of cocky about that. Men staff. Dana

  27. my FIRST is not on facebook… but two of his best friends (whom I also kissed at one point or another) are… one is gay, the other bi… finding this out was not my proudest day ever.

    for the record – another former partner in the kissing game is happily married and a doctor – I didn't turn them ALL!

  28. OMG, I just remembered. It took me this long to comment, because I'd forgotten, but his name was Jamie Stimpson (know him?) and he supplied us 15 year olds with beer. I was wearing a turquoise hooded t-shirt and…cough…black jeans. He tasted like feet.

  29. Wow, what you can do with the internet today! I can't remember his last name, so can't look him up.

  30. Hmm, weird that I'm not sure? Probably a friend of the family at church, but might have been that random new guy visiting other friends for the weekend in junior high.

  31. the first boy I kissed is (probably) gay too, but he's still in the denial and refuses to accept it even though we all think he is. He was recently ordained as a rabbi and is recently married – to a woman.

  32. Clifford. Funny. He just showed up as a suggested friend on Facebook yesterday. I ignored it.

  33. Shawn. Also my first boyfriend. We kissed on the jungle gym at the neighborhood playground, the summer I was twelve. After I broke up with him, he phone-stalked me for a year or so. He died of leukemia my freshman year of high school. So I don't really have warm fuzzies about that first kiss.

  34. My first kiss is also a FB friend and I may or may not have, when I found him on there, sent him a drunken message that I was happy to see that the first dick I ever saw was happy and alive.

    Definitely I did NOT tell him that.

  35. Troy was my first kiss and we have been FB friends for about a year now, though we don't communicate much.

    I don't have a gay ex-boyfriend, but I DO have an ex-boyfriend from high school that is now a girl. And she still likes girls. And I decided that going to coffee with her probably wasn't a good idea.

  36. Hee hee. I hope my first boyfriend looks me up and sees that I'm his lesbian ex-girlfriend.

    I had trouble finding him, since he shares a name with a senior adviser to the President, and there are several doctors who also share the same name. But I think he is a transplant surgeon in New Hampshire. No idea whether or not he is gay, but I doubt it.

  37. The first boy I ever kissed is in Milwaukee. Oddly enough he and I are still in touch and great friends! Weird!! He's also an incredibly successful doctor and sometimes I think, dammit….I should have kept that one….

  38. His name was Tim and like your first kiss he's a very happy gay man now.

    I should have suspected something when we bonded over our love of musical theatre and he dressed better than me. His sister had to pressure us to kiss for the first time.

    That relationship lasted for about a month.

  39. The first girl I ever kissed was someone who I was in love with until I saw her in her thirties. Yikes.

    The first boy I kissed was a homeless man named Gary who trapped me in an alleyway when I was 6. He's dead now.

  40. Jim Nootbaar. Yes, his real name. 4th grade. The next day he was hiding in a pile of leaves trying to surprise me and I rode over him with my bicycle. He did not try to kiss me again.

  41. LOL!

    My first kiss was a boy named Jonathan and I have no idea where he is now. Last I heard, he was dropping out of high school and getting high and playing video games.

    Obviously I haven't heard about him through the grapevine in quite a long time!

  42. My first kiss was a boy named Noel from Mississippi. He would visit Brooklyn Heights during the summers, I think his dad and stepmother lived around the corner from me. All I know is for a couple of summers he and I spent a lot of time together, and then he disappeared. Don't know his last name or anything else about him other than first name and from Mississippi. And I loved him. Deeply. As much as a first grader could love any boy she kissed. 🙂

  43. The first boy I kissed was called Charlie and he attended a school dance with a girl in the year above me… we kissed “lasciviously” (dixit my Latin teacher who apparently saw us – cue mortal embarrassment in my next Latin class) whilst slow-dancing to Harry Nilsson's “Without You” and even though I never saw him again, that song still sends shivers down my spine…

  44. There are all only the best stories ever.

    Thank you so much for sharing them. Especially you Backpacking Dad.

  45. Really you want to know? Derek (dark hair, not blonde) 7th grade, truth or dare game with his brother and our friend Liz (they are now married with 3 kids).

    Spent the next 2 years playing the “I like him, he doesn't like me now; He likes me, I don't like him now” game. We go to different high schools. He ends up dating another girl named Sarah for most of high school/college, I too have a steady most of high school/college.

    Fast forward. We both went to same university, senior year, actually sememster past senior year, both of us no longer dating anyone and run into one another. Go to the library together, a few dinners, lots of phone calls, etc. over the final few months of the semester. He goes home for Christmas break, I stay at school to work. We plan to get back together when he's back in town. Feels like 7th grade again.

    Mom calls.

    “Did you hear? Derek and Sarah were engaged last night.”

    I wasn't the Sarah.

    Merry Christmas and Happy Graduation to me.

    He's since divorced, no kids. I'm happily married with 2. We are facebook associations – you know the ones that lie on the periphery you never really talk to but can't let go of?

  46. I've only read two of your blog posts, but I'm enjoying your voice. 🙂

    The boy I first kissed was also my first boyfriend – we dated for a year and a half, which I thought was a long time. We broke up the first week of college (ok, he broke up with me).

    As far as I know, he'll still have nothing to do with me, but he married a girl who looked a bit like me, gained a bunch of weight, and perhaps had a son. He also still attends the same church he did when I dated him. Oh, and he dropped out of college a few months after we broke up. He went to community college but never got a degree.

    I'm just fine with never speaking to him again. But he was a GREAT kisser. Just sayin.

  47. Im 15, and ive never kissed a boy. So…i kinda look pathetic considering your first kiss was when you were 10.

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