Photo: Marie LeBaron for Babycenter

“I love Connor* thiiiiiiis much,” Thalia cooed, as she bounded from one side of my bedroom to touch the opposite wall. “And I always say Oh Connor, you’re soooooooo great and then I hug him because he’s my prince and I’m his princess.”

Then she batted her eyelashes and looked up at me through them, all giddy and flush, chin down, hands clasped together and shoulders swaying side to side.

Let’s be honest, it’s adorable. Adorable and terrifying and OMG WHAT? YOU’RE ONLY FIVE!

Which means we had to have The Talk.

And I am so not ready to have The Talk.

(You know, the one about self-esteem.)

I told her that it’s wonderful to love Connor. That it’s super-swell that he’s her boyfriend, because Mrs. M says he’s sweet as gummi bears. And he’s always so happy to see you in the morning and helps you off with your coat. And certainly, it’s so very nice to tell him how great he is because it makes us feel good to make other people feel good.

But, I told her, if you’re going to treat him like a prince, he had better treat you like a princess.

“Oh yes!” She insisted. “He treats me like a princess!”

“And how is that?”

“He always tells me he’ll bring in candy for me. Yesterday he said he’d bring me the biggest candy cane in the world. Today he said he’d bring me some fruit snacks. Or maybe a cupcake. And he wants to bring me to Chucky Cheeses with him on his birthday.”

“And does he actually bring you the candy?”

She thought about this for a moment, quite seriously.

“I guess he forgot.”

“Oh Thalia,” I said as I hugged her close. “I am so glad you and Connor like each other. But the first rule about boys: Sometimes they promise you things and don’t deliver.”

“That’s okay–I like him anyway. Even if he doesn’t bring me any candy.”

I have yet to share with her the second rule about boys: They can score a 3 point shot from 21 feet away, but can never get their boxers into the hamper from 6 inches. We’ll wait on that one.

This morning we woke up to a snow day and I explained to Thalia that schools had been canceled. Her first gravelly morning words: “Let’s call Connor at home and wish him a happy birthday.”

That Connor is one lucky fella. If he breaks her heart, I’ll break his candy cane.