Top 10 reasons to buy your 8 year old a padded bikini top from Abercrombie

10. There just aren’t enough men leering at third graders in the world.

9. Every young girl’s self-esteem should hinge on the size of her breasts.

8. It’s a less expensive way to give your daughter premature breasts than hormone-fed beef

7. It would be ageist to limit cleavage to the post-pubescent.

6. All the girls are doing it in the OC.

5. She’ll be a shoo-in at the Little Miss Hooters pageant (junior division).

4. It’s not like it’s a D Cup.

3. She still has to wait until 13 for implants.

2.  Your just jelous.

1. Maybe if she’s lucky, Roman Polanski will date her.

[ht kelly wallace. And abercrombie]


52 thoughts on “Top 10 reasons to buy your 8 year old a padded bikini top from Abercrombie”

  1. Brilliant. On the A&F website they have (without fanfare) removed the girls' padded bikini tops, but, fear not, you can still buy string bikini tops that are “lightly lined.” Phew.

  2. So Abercrombie is taking product development advice from the American Apparel guy now?

  3. My 13 year old Asperger's son heard about this and looked at me, aghast, and said “I don't know what's worse, the people who invented these or the people who let their kids wear them!”

    This from a hormone factory that notices NOTHING in the outside world….doesn't that say it all?

  4. Nice. I'll add that to my list of things to get my eight year-old daughter…along with eye liner, thongs, and a Katy Perry CD.

  5. i do wonder sometimes who comes up with these ideas, and now that they are no longer on the site… what are they going to do with all those padded bikini tops – would love to see a top 10 uses for the leftover ones!

  6. I may be a bit naive, but I thought that “light padding” was to cover up when it is, um, cold. These types of inserts can only do so much to make one look “bigger.” I would know – I am an adult “A” cup who has a 12 year old niece that is better endowed than me…
    I am obviously against marketing schemes and companies that promote the idea that tweens and children should feel “sexy,” but I don't think that a little padding in a bikini is the real culprit.

  7. Hysterical. BTW – my almost 12 year old just asked me to take her to Justice for a padded bikini there too. Good thing she doesn't know about Abercrombie – it's probably double the price. Either way, it just doesn't seem right.

  8. maybe we could bring padded bikini tops all the way down into the toddler sizes – then we wouldn't have to bother with the arm floaties.

  9. I have a 10 year old daughter who hasn't gotten word about these padded creations yet. I won't buy one for her even if she begs me.

  10. Hilarious. Except it's not.

    Geez, I feel so inadequately prepared for my daughter's future life as a woman starting at age 5.

    Can't she just stay in bubble dresses and show off the rolls in her thighs forever. Wait, I guess I'm working toward covering things up. Crap, this is going to be rough.

    Thanks for the laugh!

  11. Shudder …. usually I'd just add to the snark, but this is a hot-button issue with me.

    Kids in 2-piece swimsuits don't bother me too much, if it's something like a tankini or a sports-bra style top (i.e. lots of coverage, no padding, no 'cleavage' etc.) My kiddo is uber-skinny with a long torso, and most 1 piece suits don't fit her properly.

    But anything that looks like something I wore while in college is just ridiculous. Puberty is full of body issues, and it pains me to think kids as young as 8 are already struggling with this.

    Childhood is short enough. Why short-change it?

  12. Nauseating and sad. All one can hope is that there are still some rational parents out there — even if they seem to be in short supply.
    Terrified of what my 10-month-old little girl will see 8 years from now.

  13. There are so many moments when I wish I had a daughter along with (er…instead of?) two sons. But then I see crap like this and breathe a sigh of relief. I will have other battles to fight but probably, as one of your commenters said, I'm not going to have to talk them out of buying a padded speedo.

  14. unrefinedpress: To be clear, the add in the catalogue calls them “push up” so they're clearly not just trying to keep girls warm. Besides, it that's what they were worried about they wouldn't be selling bikinis they'd be one pieces.

    It's easy to get angry at A&F and we should but this is part of a much bigger problem that is downright dangerous for girls. We are selling makeup and sexy clothes to prepubescent girls and then blaming them for being precocious when they get attacked (see 11-year-old gang raped in Texas)

  15. Okay, please understand that I am a feminist. I am a non-armpit shaving feminist. And I have to say on a practical level, I am glad they make padded bikini tops. I will actually get them for my 11 yo daughter. Not to be too graphic, but she has breast buds and they are not totally the same size, and she would be too self conscious to even wear a bathing suit if not for a little padding. A plain bikini top feels too revealing of her changing chest. I totally understand that this is not the reason for Abercrombie making these tops, and don't get me started on the images of kids they use for ads, but for this summer, she will be wearing a padded bikini top.

  16. Absolutely hilarious–especially number 8!

    I recall an old woman telling my dad and I how she'd gotten her daughters and granddaughters to eat their oatmeal–she promised them it would make their breasts bigger!

  17. My husband is always telling me how scared he is of our little girl growing up. This bikini would make him flip!

  18. When I was eight–which wasn't THAT long ago–I wore those ruffly plaid shirts most days and my hair in two braids every. single. day.

    I remember when the predecessor to the little girl's bikini came out, around the time I was reaching adolescence. We called it a “belly bopper” for some reason. It was basically a sports-bra-top connected at the sides to bottoms and about 5 inches of tummy showed. My mother was HORRIFIED and said she'd never get me one. It's funny to think they were so risque–and about 20 years later, look what we've got. Horrifying.

  19. The only thing that gives me pause before jumping on your bandwagon is J.Lisa's comment. I can totally understand why a parent would buy a lined/padded swimsuit for a child in that situation.

    However, I would bet my left pinky that is NOT the reason they were made by Abercrombie in the first place.

  20. Oh Holy Hell to the No.

    Honestly, the triangle bikini tops disgust me with or without padding/push-up anything.

    Newsflash: dressing little girls like grown women is gross. Also, set me up with a couple of swimshirts/rash guards so I have less wiggly child to sunscreen.

    They'll only stop making them when we stop buying them…

  21. Geez, did you also notice the striped pattern of the black and white bikini top shown in the NYDaily News article? The stripes actually curve down and out to the edge of the cups, to visually fool the eye into seeing larger breasts.

    I can respect all of the counter arguments (what little girl didn't make them? hopefully to be shot down by responsible parents) but we all know that's not why they're selling these, and the pattern further proves it.

  22. Creepy list but the thought of Roman Polanski going after my daughter is the worst.

    I'm the one who needs padded everything in my family, not my little girl. Oy.

  23. I would have loved that in the 3rd grade. I never grew my own boobs but my nips decided they needed to grow to match my child birthing hips at the age of 8. Seriously. I had huge hips and huge nips and no boobs. Anyone who has nipples knows the side effect when they get cold. Do you know how embarrassing it was to have the nursing nipples at 8 and trying to wear a swimsuit? That's the only reason I still wear a padded bra with a D cup. I don't need the headlights to be on and people to be looking.

  24. I only have one thought: vote with your wallet! In society where we (adults) are reduced to mere consumers (like worst possible insult to all intellect and creativity we have), wallet is only weapon I’m allowed to use. And powerful one, at that.

    I have hard time picturing any form of “string triangles” on any 7-year old. Do people making (and buying) these ever see one average 7-year old at water’s edge? All the running, splashing, JUMPING? Did anyone ever see a 7-year old sunbathing quietly in one place, with sunglasses on, reading “The girl with dragon tattoo”? Do we even want to? Because that is only scenario in which “string-anything” would actually stay in its intended place. Padded or not.

  25. Haha, very funny. You do realize that people aren’t stupid enough to go buy their 8 year old a padded bikini top. People up to fourteen ship there and even some adults who are small/short enough(because it is cheaper). This is stupid. By the way, so does Justice! *gasp!* -_-

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