Me: I really don’t want them to tape a reality show at the office.

Childless Forty-something Coworker: It will probably fall through.

Me: I hope so.

CFC: Otherwise, I want professional hair and makeup every day. Also I want to have our lawyers put in a clause that says they can only shoot me from the waist up.

Me: Good idea! Also a clause that the postpartum new mom has to be shot from behind a desk.

CFC: Wait…postpartum? How old is your baby?

Me: Almost nine months.

CFC: (Cackling) That’s not postpartum! Please. It’s like you’ll have a two year old and be still using THAT excuse.

(And…scene.)