Things I’ve Won in My Life

1975 I’m a Tumbling Nut T-shirt for holding a headstand in gym class. It featured a little cartoon metal nut, tumbling. (Get it? Get it?) It was my most prized possession until it was stolen several years later, right out of our car along with the rest of the contents of my camp trunk. Traumatic, to say the least.

1977 The pet guinea pig-naming contest in Mrs. Murphy’s third grade class. Carter and Mondale were initially deemed the winning names, but upon further reflection, a re-vote was demanded and better monikers prevailed. Fuzzy Buzzy and Bootsy provided excellent companionship for the rest of the school year.

1982 Big jar of candy and assorted crap in a high school fundraising raffle.

1984 Hula hoop contest at 1950’s-themed sockhop at the Westchester County Center. My friends and I went thinking it would be fun to dress up in polka-dotted skirts and do the twist. We never expected it was going to be a dance for old single people. Some of them were, like, thirty.

1997 The GLAAD media award for creating the first national tv commercial featuring a lesbian couple. There’s something bizzaro about the cast of Spin City coming up to my table to meet me.

2006 $1500 from the Jeopardy slot machine at the Mirage Casino in Las Vegas. Rest assured I gave most of it back.

2006 The Crazy Hip Blog Mamas Member of the Week. It’s not quite an I’m a Tumbling Nut T-shirt, but at least no crackhead with a slim jim can wrench this one away from me.

Seriously? Thanks to all who voted. It’s nice to be acknowledged for something I really love doing anyway. And a special thanks to my cousin Ryan who tried to vote but was turned away for 1) not being a member of the ring 2) not having a blog 3) not having children.

As I mentioned here once before, this feels a little to me like the new girl in school being elected prom queen. But as long as you don’t plan on dumping pig’s blood over my head when I accept, I happily and humbly do so.

You can read my interview thingie for the CHBM here.

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