And Just Like That, The Talking Begins

I can accept that a cow says mmmmmm, since Thalia is unable to somehow open her mouth after the consonant, and so simply ends the word when her cheeks puff full enough that she’s forced to take a breath.

I understand that uhhhhhhhPAH! means up. Also down. They are used interchangably.

I now know that everyone has eyes, even if sometimes your nose is also your eyes.

I know that a lion says arrrrrrrrr, as does a bear, a zebra, a giraffe, and a mouse.

And I’m okay with die-die meaning bye-bye, since I know that my daughter isn’t really wishing a painful demise on those whose presence she departs.

But I have to admit, it is a little tough hearing her ask for a cracker by yelling, over and over, COCK! COCK! COCK!


67 thoughts on “And Just Like That, The Talking Begins”

  1. thassallright. cows can’t do vowels either. and I’ve yet to hear a dog say woof.cock???! i love it. i think “cock” should be a more widely used response term. much in life is, indeed, Cock.

  2. Interesting…my son says “Daaaaaaa” for Down and Up. Let’s get them together and see if they can work it out.Good on you though – I had a friend who complained that her daughter wasn’t “talking” yet at 18 months, but I could understand her perfectly.

  3. Mwahahaha! Cock please! Julia always said, “shit dowwwwn.”Kiss in hungarian is puszi /pussy/; you should totally teach her to “puszi” for a “cock!”

  4. I predict a sexually healthy adult will be the result if her early dialogue is any indication. Right on.

  5. When my 4-yr-old was 2 he loved trucks, especially dump trucks, but had trouble pronouncing “d” and “tr.” The result? “Dum Fuck, Dum Fuck, Dum Fuck!” His teen brothers loooooooved it and paraded it out like a party trick for their friends.

  6. Mira (4) still onl occasion gets so riled up that when yelling “that’s it” it sounds distinctly like “SHIT!”pass a cock please

  7. LMFAO! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH- omg, that is great. GREAT! at least she’s not calling you a filthy whore …… yet

  8. That’s weird, I do the same thing, but not for saltines, only the club crackers.

  9. My husband and I spent a good 10 minutes last night trying not to laugh but unable to figure out whether our 3 year was actually saying something about “my penis, my penis, batteries not included.” Swear to God.

  10. I have been nodding my head, because the whole “up” meaning “down” thing is commonplace in my house. And the only naughty thing my two year old says is “Boop”. And it’s not really naughty. He thinks it’s funny to pinch my boob in public and yell BooooooooPPPP at the top of his lungs. Okay, he said shit the other day and that is sooooo my fault.Thalia is so darn cute! I love when little ones learn to talk!

  11. As good as when my little lady used to call frogs “fucks.” We walked into our local pharmacy one day and there was a summer display with frogs in a swimming pool to which she yelled at the top of her lungs, “Mama, FUCKS!”

  12. Oh yes, I’m familiar with that. My daughter called crackers “cock-ers” for months. It was really interesting to hear how certain words would get clearer and clear each week. She just turned 2 and now it seems like the only word she consistently pronounces wrong is motorcycle, which comes out as “mokey-cyc-ie.”

  13. Too funny. I remember when we used to have Maya tell us what the animals said…we would say, What does the butterfly say, and she would think about it…then make a quiet little noise that sounded like “puh…puh….puh”…it was supposed to be the beating of their wings, I think. Way too cute.I saw your comment on my blog today, so looks like you can comment all you want now. Not sure why you would have had problems in the past, but they’re gone. 😉

  14. Apparently this is universal. My daughter’s favorite words are Kuh Kuh (cracker), which sounds like she needs to poop, and Cock Cock-a (what the rooster says). She’s got it right, I’m the one with the dirty mind.

  15. delurking (I think? I don’t think I’ve commented before?) to say…I miss the mispronunciations so much. I regret not getting some of the funny stuff on tape.Except for the whole clock fiasco at Great Grandma’s funeral. Lila was 2.5 at the time and kept running into the vestibule to point out the giant black enameled grandfather clock that stood at attention by the front door.wait for it…Momma! Yook at the big bwack cock! That cock is so huuuuuuuge!Yelled repeatedly until I just had to take her to the car.Crackers though, there’s probably a lot more opportunity for that one! heee. I love your site, by the way. Always a delightful, interesting read.

  16. that’s funny. that’s what my son says for the world clock. in rooms full of people, he has been known to point to the wall and say “cock cock. look, mommy, a cock.” as i slowly dig a whole and crawl into it.Lisa

  17. My son says women instead of lemon. So of course his father makes him ask very loudly in every restaurant, “Daddy can I please have some women?” Niiiiiice.

  18. She’ll be very popular in high school. 🙂Mine, at 3, when having trouble closing the fridge drawer at a friend’s house, yelled “This damn drawer”. Ooops…

  19. My sons call the horses a special name: “ho”….it gets embarrasing at all the parades that take place this time of the year when my kids are on the sidewalk yelling “ho ho ho” and pointing….yea, go figure!

  20. Cock and crackers must be distinguished. Because one of them does not belong in a hot bowl of soup.

  21. hahaha, can’t stop laughing. Unfortunately, when my girls swear, I’m pretty sure they are doing it on purpose. I blame their father.

  22. MMM…yes…my daughter refers to cracker as ‘crack’. I find it funny. I mean, you gotta laught at some of the things kids come up with when first starting to talk. Still, I cringe just a bit when she screams for a cracker in public.

  23. LOL!!!!!! Oh no!!!!!!!!!We went through a phase with my older daughter where she would point to every man she saw and scream “DADDY DADDY!” I thought the teenager working the McDonald’s counter was going to faint.

  24. Just wait until she catches the Thomas the Tank Engine virus when she’s a little older, and listen to her trying to say “Percy.”

  25. Sweet merciful crap! That’s too funny. Yeah, we had to endure cries of “Fuck!” for “Truck!” for a while… and my 4yo used to refer to Percy, from the Thomas The Tank Engine series by a name that sounded alarmingly like “Pussy”. Never a dull moment… never, not once, no matter how I may need one…

  26. Yes…I can see how you would feel compelled to “explain” every time she asked for a saltine in public.

  27. Elby says cock for clock. I think it’s hilarious and can’t wait for her to bring it public. So far, she’s pointed out a “cock” in Ralphs but no one was close enough to hear. Damn.

  28. When Mark was a wee lad, he said “titty” for “kitty.” His father took him through the toy department one day and lo and behold, Barbie was wearing a sweater with a cat on it. Mark points right at ’em and yells at full volume, “Look Daddy! TITTY!!!”I guess there were many appalled looks from the grandmotherly type standing next to them. mk

  29. BT has his own launguage a lot of the time and we understand every 3rd word or so ….but he alternates between “oh shit” and “oh god” (which comes out amazingly clear)whenever he drops something or if he gets a “wowie” … I love it 🙂

  30. Hilarious! Congrats on the new speech – well, at least most of it.Q has a puzzle with different vehicles on it. “Epi” for airplane, car, bus, and so forth. Right now, he’s saying “he-ca-ca-ca” one of the pieces. Right emphasis on the syllables and right number of syllables, so we get the idea. It’s a helicopter.

  31. At least YOU know what it means. And that’s really all that matters. (Just try not to order crackers when you’re out at a restaurant until she’s a little older 🙂 )

  32. I so get the “cock” talk. Read to the end of this one: also had an entire car ride to the library where she said “Fire Fuck! Fire Fuck! Fire Fuck!” over and over after seeing a fire truck. Thank goodness the 5-year-old sitting next to her didn’t know swears yet – he still thought “stupid” was the s-word. He may still. Let us hope.

  33. Who says you can’t put a sailor suit on a little girl? My twin 18-month olds say “doddeeee” for “doggie”. It sounds like “daddy”, which is lovely when they’re screaming it at some muscled jogger running past their stroller. One of them says “cock” for quack. I’m trying to find an anatomically correct duck, but no luck so far…..

  34. lol.not long ago, a friend and i took her daughter to the park to feed the feed the ducks crackers.which her very excited child told everyone. loudly. by pointing and screaming “fuck cock fuck cock fuck cock fuck” if i’d have made eye contact with my friend, we’d have both lost it.

  35. Cock cock cock! lolWhen TQ was really little she would say “mo fackers” which always made us laugh because it sounded profane 🙂

  36. Well…it’s better than having your son yelling “Fire fuck!” at random, just because when he thinks of one he has to yell it out loud…which, I’m certain, leaves all of the neighbors and people who pass us while we are out wondering just what his mommy and daddy are doing in there! lol!

  37. My 4-year-old daughter has just taken to discussing the “cock, otherwise known as a bird that goes cockadoodledoo. She finds it quite amusing to say such things as Daddy Cock! Mommy Cock! Ugh…it’s all really quite innocent but I can’t help but cringe when she says this. Of course if I let on that there is anything remotely inappropriate about it it’s all downhill from there.

  38. I am new to the blog scene and have been looking around for other first time mom’s. I love this post! My son has started talking and some of the things that he attempts to say are funny, embarrasing and oh so cute!!

  39. Funny post! In our house, a giraffe says “crazy tongue” along with a physical reenactment of a giraffe sticking his tongue out and wagging it all over.

  40. OK, I’m late on this post, but just had to add my two cents. My nephew called his socks “cock” for months. My daughter has this interesting habit of licking everything. And sucking on everything. When you try to get her to bite of something she screams “NO! I suck it!!!” I once made some lewd comment about how she’s going to make some man very happy someday. My husband almost decked me. 😉

  41. My son pronounced “truck” as “cock” for the longest time, so it was always quite embarrassing when he’d chant “daddy’s cock! daddy’s cock”!”

  42. For the longest time, my son would stop and out of nowhere say Fuck!Repeatedly.Turns out that he was not asking for a sib.He was telling us that a truck was driving by. Cute, with just us.Not so cute when Seventh Day Adventist grandmother was in town.

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