That’s What It’s All About (Hey!)

I’ve spent the last few days trying to sum up what was so special about the past weekend. (And this is the last BlogHer post! Probably. I think. Well…maybe.)

The friends – sure. The stuff I learned – blah blah blah. The panties on Catherine’s head – okay, so that was pretty fun.

But there was something more for me.

This is it:

Thats me and my mom and my daughter on the right. And Kristen from Mommy Needs a Cocktail, and her mom and her son on the left. At a conference. Together.

Three generations.

I experienced BlogHer as a writer, a blogger, a professional, a business owner, a daughter and a mother all at once. And not one of those things demeaned any other. I think maybe we all take for granted how amazing this is. I mean, could you see Hillary Clinton standing up on the senate floor with a child in a sling and being taken seriously? Could you see Maureen Dowd flashing her boobs to an entire ballroom full of journalists to nurse a baby, without that being the hot topic of conversation for the rest of the day?

Kristen and Christina and Lindsay understand the significance of this; they had their children there too. Lisa Stone, who introduced me to her mother on Friday, certainly understands.

Bravo BlogHer.

When Cooper and Emily of BlogHers Act acknowledged my mom in their closing speech, quoting her line about being honored to see everything she fought for in the 70’s coming to fruition right there in the room, I cried. It closed a circle for me. It brought two important things in my life together – my family, and all of you.

(Yes, you who hasn’t taken a shower for three days. And you, you lurking men whose wives don’t know you like mommyblogs. I include you too.)

As far as the nitpicking about schwag or debating about panel discussions or complaining about session topics or the bathroom doors at the W – whatever, as the kids say these days (or did around 1998 or so). I’m glad we can discuss these things. I’m happy to discuss these things. In fact I love discussing these things – you know how I likes me a good debate. But in the grander scheme of things, the weekend made at least three of us very happy.

Or at least two of us. Sage might have had gas.


42 thoughts on “That’s What It’s All About (Hey!)”

  1. If you ever have a chance, read Cokie Roberts’ “We Are Our Mother’s Daughters” – it MOVED me beyond words, truly – to know that those women kicked ASS in the generations before us – so that we can DO this.Great post – makes me really wish I could have gone. I think some people take being a <>woman<> for granted, or even choose the “I’m a poor, helpless female” stance in order to get through in the world – I love reading intelligent women bloggers <>who happen to be moms<> 🙂 Nice to meet you!

  2. Lucky, lucky you to have a mom who realized that there was something still worth “fighting” for in the 70s and then? Actually standing up and doing it. My mother still doesn’t know about my blog and if she did, I doubt she’d be as supportive in my attempt to speak my mind. I think she actually liked the 50s and 60s…as eras go. So my insistence that there’s still a lot left to do (with regard to the lives of women) doesn’t make much sense to her. Why am I saying this here? I do love my mother…but I wanted you to know that your mom sounds fabulous.

  3. This just makes me wish even more that I could have been there. I’m glad there were so many strong women together at one time. With slings and boobs even. 🙂

  4. Beautiful picture. Can’t comment on the rest, since I wasn’t there. But it looks like you all had fun.

  5. i don’t know why, but seeing a grandma holding her baby grandson in a sling made me smile. wonderful thing.

  6. Wonderful.And also, those damn bathroom doors in the W! Who thought THAT was a good idea?

  7. If I didn’t know better I’d say your mom needs to start a blog.Wait. I do know better.Nancy START A BLOG!But seriously, your mom inspired me to be a mover and a shaker not just for me, but for my daughter. There’s so much we can do with our blogs — these voices are power.

  8. You make an excellent point about the freedom we enjoy without fear that we won’t be taken seriously because of it. We need to keep exercising that freedom in order to hold on to it.It was lovely to meet your mother. She is a fantastic woman.

  9. I LOVE that your mom was there. It was truly amazing to see women, with their mothers – and their babies at a conference. It’s a sad statement to make, but I’ve never, ever felt so comfortable being a woman or a mom. The women at BlogHer made me feel welcome on so many levels. And the sight of you, your mom, and your lovely daughter is absolutely amazing.

  10. I bet Thalia and Sage will say the same about you when they’re older. Although by then to blog you’ll only have to think it and it will automatically be inscribed in everyone’s brain. Everyone who subscribed to your blog, that is.

  11. Huff! Huff! Hey! – I may be lurking, but my wife knows where I am. (She also thinks I’ve lost my mind.) But seriously, Mom Bloggers have helped to educate me and to make me more empathetic to new mothers. I was too busy working (or something) to pay attention to the needs of my wife when our child was young. But after a few sessions with Kristen, Alice, Amy and yourself, among others, I was right there to help my son understand what his wife might be going through and what support she might want and need when my first grandchild was born. And to offer to give her a few breaks as much as possible when we could watch that lovely little girl.If nothing else, and I know that’s not true, your ladies have made early motherhood a better experience for at least one young woman. Psst – and don’t tell anyone, but I’ve started to refer to myself as a , er, ummm, feminist. I don’t think I could have done that before benefitting from this great communication medium.

  12. Wow! That certainly does bring it all into perspective, doesn’t it? I love it! I think my mom would say the exact same thing as yours did.

  13. Absolutely. I’d have brought my mother, but she doesn’t understand the first thing about blogging. I still have to help her check her e-mail.Several people told me they were amazed I was there with an eight week old baby. But if not at BlogHer, then where? I love that I could feel confident enough to have my daughter with me at this amazing gathering of women without being belittled for being a mom.

  14. I teared up when Cooper and Emily mentioned your mom, too. It was such an empowering and sweet moment. I now am willing to help with their cause in any way I can! Sorry we didn’t get the chance to hang out much (at all?) at the conference. The weekend seemed to go by so quickly…

  15. Um, what Matt said, at least about the lurking but the wife knowing — and sometimes the “she thinks I’m crazy” part. As an expectant first-time father, I’m just glad to see talented people writing about their experiences with some humor– it helps me get some perspective (and/or freaks me the f*ck out) for when our imminent arrival arrives.I do feel special to be included, however.

  16. I had gas too. That’s why I walked around smiling….I mentioned I loved your mom, right?Cuz I did. Beautifully said. Now I’m going to go off into the corner and mourn the fact that my relationship with my momma is in the gutter…The upside is, seeing the relationship between you and your mama proves to me there is hope for me and my daughter. It can be done and it doesn’t have to be like my own relationship with my parent.Kiss your momma for me for that. Now I’m off to locate some Bean-O.

  17. I saw that picture on flickr (can’t remember whose stream) and I cried. You know how I feel about the relationship you have with your mother and how I wish that I had that kind of love and support from my own mother. It was beautiful to see the two of you together, to see your mom caring for your daughter while you enjoyed yourself with all of the amazing women you’ve met through this little thing called blogging.I love you and your mom.

  18. It is truly inspiring to me that you were able to share Blogher with your mom and daughter and that your mom spoke up in the sessions, not that I would expect anything less from the woman who raised you. PS – You look fab.

  19. I’m closer to your mom’s age than yours – and have had a year to celebrate what she saw last weekend and I saw last year. BlogHer may be the most empowering institution since suffrage. Well maybe not but close – and the amazing thing to me is that the empowerment comes with no vitriol – that one of the visiting Kos people called the conference “sweet” because there was so much energy and brain power and none – I repeat none — of the snarkiness other shall-not-be-named conferences exhibit. Posts like this one say it better than I – and it’s so so lovely to have it said. Love to your mom, my sister….

  20. Ooooooh, my gosh, you have me all emotional with the three generations thing! That’s cool. I’m glad you got to experience that.

  21. I saw Kristen’s Mom wearing that baby everywhere all weekend, and it made me smile every time. To have that kind of support, physically, emotionally-it’s a special thing indeed. Nancy should start a blog, I know she could impart a lot of wisdom upon us.

  22. It rocked, didn’t it? I’m so glad my mom was able to come, although I don’t think she left the hotel the entire time she was there! I wouldn’t have been able to come without the childcare. Go BlogHer!

  23. Your mom is fabulous – it was lovely to sit next to her during your panel and see how proud she was of you. Sage is such a pro too. Slept perfectly through the session and woke up at the end, in time to take accolades.

  24. I love that and I love your Mom. What a special woman (not that I would have expected anything less)… So glad I got to meet her. And Sage? Could she be more perfect. Love your people.

  25. AMEN! As you know, I am a huge fan of your mother, and you are so right to point out that this is a rare conference indeed. I have been to women’s studies conferences where the presence of children has been snubbed, and it blows my flipping mind.Yes. Thank you BlogHer, and thank you Blogging for letting my inner bad-ass (and nurturing) feminist come out.

  26. It was extremely touching to see you get choked up when Cooper and Emily mentioned you and your mom. Hold on to each other tightly and try to know just how lucky you are. I think you understand.

  27. Beautifully written. I wish my mother could have been there. She would have laughed and had so much fun. How smart of you to bring your mama along. And how lucky she is to have a fabulous daughter like you.

  28. I teared up at your mom’s comment too. In the end, that’s really what it’s about.I’m not a big complainer really — I like to look on the bright side of life, as the song goes…(though now I’m wishing I’d gone to the bathroom at the W at least once). But still I’m very impressed that we can get 800 women (and a few men) together and everyone feels so free to say what they think (I’m not going to vote for your husband anyway…) and be who they are (Advertising, business people, sponsors, marketing, etc. all suck and I’m too pristine for such things…). Hey, it takes all kinds, right? I feel very fortunate to have been there among them (and you).

  29. Awesome. And I love your mom’s comment too. Please — tell her thank you. Thank you for fighting. Thank you for fighting so that we all could have the freedoms that we have today. And be comfortable taking our babies to conferences. Because there’s no reason to hide them away.Smooches.

  30. i LOVE reading your posts about your family + this is sooooo cooooool to see you with your mom + daughter. you’re a beautiful family + i’m so awed by your heart + self expression + leading the way 🙂

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