Vamos-ing a la Playa

I’m about to head to a beautiful, beachy, south-of-the-border vacation with the kids, the nieces, the brother and sister-in-law, coupla grandparents, and not the computer. Hopefully the babysitting with be as plentiful as the margaritas, and the cough we’ve all had for the last six weeks will disappear along with my pasty white thighs.

(And I don’t just mean the pasty part. I would like the entire pair of thighs to disappear, although somehow that seems incongruous with both the notion of free-flowing margaritas and the laws of physics.)

In the meanwhile, I thought I’d entertain you (using that term loosely) with a few totally random thoughts that have been floating around my head this week in between bouts of buying way too many kinds of suntan lotion.

I have not forgotten about all of your thoughtful questions for the VP of toy safety from the Toy Industry Association. I got back her answers like a day before the blog world went on holiday hiatus and I promise to post it after I get home. Let’s just say it’s very interesting.

Yesterday I took Thalia to the most awesome kids hair salon – seriously, go to Doodle-Doos if you’re ever in NY. One of the first things they ask you when you come in is which video you’d like them to put on for your kid.

Correct answer: “Diego please.”

Or: “Got any WonderPets?”

Or: “Eh, I’ll just read to her. Thanks anyway.”

But the answer of the mom who came in right after us didn’t quite fit the bill. You’d have thought that the stylist asked her what tuburculosis-tainted phlegm-ball streaked with fecal matter and doused in the HIV virus he should feed to her son. W-W-W-WHAT? she sputtered. A VIDEO? DON’T YOU KNOW THAT THE AAP RECOMMENDS NO TV FOR CHILDREN UNDER TWO BECAUSE IT REPROGRAMS THEIR LITTLE BRAINS?

To which I just had to jump in and contradict her with a few dubious studies that cast doubt on the recommendations before adding, “Eh, there’s a new study every week. You just have to parent by instinct.”

Just because I’m a smart ass sometimes. And I felt bad for the stylist. Plus it was fun watching her brain short circuit and start to ooze out her ears.

I am experiencing utter amazement that in this lifetime, I have lived to see a woman at the top of a Presidential state primary.

It makes me teary. And that should make you all like me more.

Want a secret tip for rushing a passport without paying the billion (roughly) dollar surcharge that professional expediters charge? My brilliant politico brother told me to contact my member of congress, and that it’s a little-known service offered to constituents.

Sure enough, the delightful Diana of Nydia Velazquez’s office made a call, and next thing you know, we’re at the passport office ushered past the beaurocrats, past the people camped out for five hours, past the four year-old that Thalia wanted so badly to hug, right to the front of the line.

Diana even called the next day to follow up and make sure all was hunk-dory. So…everyone send lots of money to Congresswoman Velazquez’s reelection next term.

As for Thalia, that girl is unflappable. When the shy girl ran behind her mom, terrified of the teeny little 2 year old hugging machine with the outstretched arms, I explained to Thalia that she was just hiding. Thalia reacted by putting her hands over her eyes and counting to ten and yelling “here I come!”

God I love her.

And Sage, I love you too. But you’re not as funny just yet.

Julie is awesome and Julie works her butt off for Cool Mom Picks, and Julie is being showered with $900 worth of seriously swanky gifts for the new baby she will have in her arms this time next month. (Did I just freak you out Julie?) If you or a new mama friend want to win the very same $900 worth of gifts, check the Cool Mom Picks homepage for details and you just might.


While I’m away the BFF turns forty. Go wish her a happy birthday.

Oh shoot, this means that this year I turn forty too. Time to get a Porsche and start screwing around with the pool boy.


32 thoughts on “Vamos-ing a la Playa”

  1. Have a fabulous, fabulous trip!Thanks for the passport tip. I’m actually waiting for Baby 2 to be born this spring and dealing with getting both passports at the same time, since we’re not going out of the country soon. I guess I better find out who our congressperson is in this new neighborhood.

  2. I love Doodle Doos too. The place couldn’t be cuter and the people are too sweet. My 3 year-old would like to live there. So I’m glad you spoke up with the attitude mom. I mean, what does she care if OTHER kids watch a video while their locks get snipped? And I like your clever Hillary commentary. Enjoy the vaca. Your wit will be missed while you are away.

  3. Que tenga un buen viaje.Hint: if you need to speak Spanish, instead of saying “Quiero un…” say “Quisiera un…” It is an extremely old-fashioned and courtly form that translates to “I should like…” and it always gets a little smile.

  4. Have fun and enjoy the warmth! Also, thanks for the passport info — PunditGirl’s passport (which has WAY more stamps than mine did when I was 40!), expires after our trip to the warm beach in Feb. and we’ll need it again shortly thereafter. 🙂

  5. Though I’m not crazy about either Obama or Hillary, I still get weirdly emotional over their rise to the top. It is indeed cool to bear witness to, and participate in. Have a great trip. Please imbibe a delicious margarita for all of us trapped in our homes.

  6. Kelly: YES, I should add I also get emotional about Obama. Although perhaps oddly, I am less surprised to see a man of color at the top than a woman of any color.

  7. GAAHH, have to wait until next month to remove the pasty white. If you get rid of the thighs too? Let me know what you were drinking.

  8. I get teary looking at both of their photos up there. A black man and a woman. Right on Democrats!

  9. Oooh, I’m so jealous! Have a great time. You never know, maybe the laws of physics are different in other countries.I totally registered myself and my BFF who is having a baby this Spring. That is one cool give away!

  10. One of my friends was on Ms. Velazquez’s staff several years ago. When he told people back home who he worked for – what with the language barrier between Minnesotans and normal people – everyone though he worked for Native Alaskans. He gave up trying to correct them.

  11. Ha! Have a great trip. And good on you, taking that woman down a peg. Sheesh. Bet she went and told her toher santimommy friends all about it later.

  12. Safe travels! And thank you for the passport tip. Even for those of us who aren’t going anywhere except to the hospital in three weeks (!!!), it’s good to have a valid passport on hand in the event that your driver’s license goes MIA.Not that I would personally know anything about that. You wouldn’t want such a flake working for CMP.

  13. Hey, we did that same passport thing – we had them Fed Ex’ed to us at no charge the next day, after waiting 15 weeks.Enjoy your trip! I’m so jealous!

  14. Thanks for all the great thoughts! I was particularly touched by the “turning 40” advice since I will be there next year. hee hee Let me know what color Porsche you choose!

  15. “Eh, there’s a new study every week. You just have to parent by instinct.” — truer words were never spoken (errm, written).

  16. Let me allay your fears about turning 40, my friend. Being 40 is the BEST, trust me. You’re finally all growed up for real, many of the insecurities are either not relevant anymore or you’ve said F it to them, and you’re still young enough to do most everything you’ve always done (except you know better on the stupid shit.)Celebrate 40, girl. Celebrate!

  17. Hey, 40 is the new 30. Or was it the new black?Have fun on your vacation! I just got back from a weekend away with just the husband. I don’t think I’ll ever go on vacation with the kids again. (Just kidding, kids! Mommy loves you!)

  18. Wow, how many beachy vacations do you get a year? ‘Cause it seems like it’s been a lot. I am SO completely jealous!Have fun!

  19. Just got back from NY…fabulous, dahling! Also…I’m so glad that there wasn’t too much harshing on H.C. for crying in public. I remember when Pat Schroeder did it and she was openly roasted over a flaming spit for doing so. We’ve come a long way, baby.

  20. I can’t get over that this post was left at 12:01 AM. Didn’t you leave the next morning on a jet plane, don’t know when you’ll be back again. Tap some of whatever you have and pass it to me.I missed reading your posts. I disappeared after #3 was born, but I’m back, and it feels so good.

  21. I’m so jealous of your vacation… *sigh*My dad used his own strategy with passports ad customs that you may (not) wish to try:he would pinch us so we would cry, and then get through the line faster.Not a great parenting moment, though I have wanted to follow his example a few times!

  22. Hope you’re having a truly wonderful, relaxing time.I got all teary when Hillary won NH. Like, WOW, look at this, a woman and a black man in contention for this…I mean, I guess I knew before that moment, but it really <>hit<> me then. I couldn’t get the song, “Right Here, Right Now” out of my head for about a week, or the stupid smile off of my face.I do like that white man Edwards a lot, too, though. Just sayin.

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