Necessity is the mother of Halloween costume invention

So in typical blogworld fashion, you were all right: The girls had a dandy Halloween party without me, I survived The Big Meeting, and I made it home in time to get them dressed again for trick or treating. The thing is, Thalia was happy to get into her cat costume (far less challenging than last year’s peacock to be sure) but Sage was in overstimulated-sugar-crash-getting-a-cold mode and would not put that gay lamb costume back on for all the Kit Kats in the world.

And by gay I mean exactly that. It was totally gay, so get your finger off the PC police hotline. We’re talking like Liza Minelli-belting, interior decorating, blue satin bow tie-wearing, name your stereotype gay. Even Nate’s best friend, who is gay, agrees. In fact I am sure that we saw at least 18 guys dressed the very same way on TV at the Greenwich Village Halloween Parade.


Having given up on Sage’s likelihood of making it up past 6, Nate got ready to put Sage down to bed. But as I started to head out with Thalia to knock on the doors in our building, Sage got a second wind and, clad in nothing but a diaper, decided she wanted to join us.

So we did what any family would have done in the same situation.

We threw an apron over her, shoved a whisk in her hand, and called her The Naked Chef.

I think three people in our building got it. We like them.

This is a public service announcement (with guitars?): If you are having ANY problems at all voting tomorrow, if anyone tries to give you a provisional ballot, if you are turned away at the polls or see any fliers or get any calls with misleading information tomorrow please please PLEASE call 1-866 OUR VOTE or text your question to RTVOTE. This is not some wacky conspiracy theory – there have already been 80,000 complaints made about voting problems.

[Edited to add: These suggestions is based on knowledge I’ve gained working closely with Rock the Vote over the past month on an election protection campaign and having the honor of speaking one-on-one with Greg Palast. If you are given a provisional ballot, there is a 1/3 chance it will not be counted. By calling 866OURVOTE you can request immediate adjudication, so that if you are indeed qualified to vote, you vote. Not all counties or polling officials are dishonest. But you know? Some are.]

I know my segue is terrible but that’s what happens when you wait three days to post Halloween pictures in an election year.


26 thoughts on “Necessity is the mother of Halloween costume invention”

  1. Your kids look adorable. Also, nice Clash shout-out. I havent’t been able to hear that phrase without adding “with guitars!” to the end of it since I first heard that album over ten years ago. Eesh.

  2. Anna – no three people got it after we said “She’s the Naked Chef.” No love for the Food Network in Brooklyn I guess.

  3. Your letter in the previous post made my throat close–soooo glad you got home for the trick or treating. Frankly the school party sucks and I always feel judged (granted my son was a pimp last year, but still).You won’t believe that a mailing went out in our county to voters (one half in English, the other in Spanish) The Spanish side had the WRONG date to vote on it. Having followed up it does appear to be a gross error, but not malicious–ugh. So glad you’ve got your eye on the ball–now if you could work on my mother…

  4. Yes. I am just copy and pasting my comment from Bossy’s site, about the provisional ballot thing. I have to STRENUOUSLY disagree with the point about not accepting a provisional ballot. 90% of people who are offered a provisional ballot are offered so because they are not registered to vote at that specific polling place, or because they have not provided ID as first time voters (which is a federal law, through HAVA.) And no amount of adjudication is going to offer that voter anything OTHER than a provisional ballot. Their choices are to vote provisional, or not vote at all.This is an issue I feel extremely passionate about, because my husband is the County Clerk of our county and runs our local election. The number of folks who refuse a provisional ballot, or act like complete asshats about the process, is staggering. Don’t like the process? TAKE THE TIME TO UPDATE YOUR VOTER REGISTRATION WHEN YOU MOVE!And the lies about how provisional ballots are only counted “if it’s close” or “depending on how you voted” are just that in most instances– conspiracy theorist lies. The provisional voter process is there to protect the voter, not swindle them. At least that’s the case in my county, and I can’t speak to whether or not it’s the case everywhere. My husband walks through broken glass to make sure everyone gets to vote who is eligible, and the fact that so many people, ignorant of the process, are threatening and intimidating him, makes me so angry.All righty then. Off my soap box.Please encourage people to be patient, non-asshat voters tomorrow.

  5. Growing a Pair: The issues with provisional ballots are not the mad creations of conspiracy theorists. While your husband sounds like a stand-up guy, respecting the spirit of the intent of the provisional ballot, plenty of counties, particularly in heavily Republican districts in swing states, are not. I have spent the last month working closely with Rock the Vote on a campaign including < HREF="" REL="nofollow">this commercial<> and < HREF="" REL="nofollow">this one<>, and in that time, had the privilege of speaking with < HREF="http://" REL="nofollow">Greg Palast<> one on one for about fifteen minutes. He is a respected investigative journalist, and created the investigative comic Steal Back Your Vote with Bobby Kennedy Jr. Together they also authored the comprehensive Rolling Stone article on voter suppression.His evidence is extremely compelling. My advice is not to be an asshat, as you say – no one likes an asshat, on either side of the aisle. But before you accept a provisional ballot, call 866OURVOTE and get some legal advice. Because just maybe, you’re in a county that has a track record of not counting all the votes.Your husband sounds awesome by the way. We need more like him doing what he does.

  6. I don’t doubt that there’s some shady out there– I think Florida taught us all about that– but I spend a fair amount of time worrying about the people who will refuse a provisional ballot, for good reasons (and I agree there are compelling ones) and just end up with NO VOTE. It’s suspect to me, because it seems like statistically there is a greater chance that the voter is not properly registered than the election official is trying to pull something. Many states do not have lawyer on site, or even available. And so out of frustration, people get really irate and inappropriate. I don’t doubt that their fears are coming from a true concern– but in the moment, the best option most people have is to fill out their provisional and follow up on it. Call a lawyer, sure! Use every resource available. But acting like a lunatic all over some poor volunteer is usually the FIRST thing people think to do.On a side note, do you know how what percentage of provisional voters have EVER followed up on their ballot in our county? ZERO.So really, if an election official really were up to no good, it would be incredibly easy to manipulate.

  7. For what it’s worth, an enormous number of attorneys have been convened in every county in the entire country. When you call that number, you’re getting access to them. They WILL get a lawyer to your poll on election day if that’s what it takes. I’m presuming that no one knows that they’re supposed to follow up with a provisional ballot. We all figure that if you vote, it gets counted. Done deal. I suppose that’s why people like Bossy and I are putting out the word that it doesn’t always work that way.

  8. I love the babe in the Beansoup Apron. It is the BEST use I’ve ever seen from my product!!! What a lucky designer I am to have such fans!

  9. And I love your aprons, < HREF="" REL="nofollow">beansoup!<>See, I’ll spam for you myself.

  10. And because of you, the night before this very important election, with very serious issues to consider…I am laughing out loud to no one (hubby on trip) with tears running down my face! Naked Chef – now that’s a Mom who can land on her feet!Thanks for the moment of humor.

  11. Holy cow – have there already been that many issues with the balloting and it’s not even Tuesday yet? We had just moved before the last election, so we showed up to the polling place with our IDs, sample ballots, electric bills, and every other piece of identifying evidence that we thought we might need. Fortunately we didn’t have a problem.The girls are adorable, as usual.

  12. i copied (well, rephrased) what you said about the votes on my blog,linked to the news article (it's 100.000 complaints now!!), & linked back to you, i hope it is okay. i live in the uk, but i still feel it is important that people know. please let me know if you want me to remove it, & i will. thank youMiri

  13. OMG The Naked Chef!! HA HA HA! SOOOO wish I’d thought of that one! Awesome!Glad you had a ‘gay’ Halloween! : )

  14. That’s so cute! The naked chef and the blue lamb costume! Wonder if she could be both next year? Apron over the lamb?Gay is good.

  15. You’re right, Hallowe’en is totally gay. And your one-word caption beneath that photo made me spit coffee across my desk.

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