It’s not lazy. It’s a public service.

So as I’m addressing our New Year’s cards–and I say New Year’s because at this point in the procrastination timeline, calling them Christmas cards is laughable–when suddenly it dawns on me:

Our childless friends?

No freaking interest in getting some requisite photo card with a picture of our kids on them. Not in the least. Not even remotely.

I’m trying to remember how it felt when I was anxiously single and I had to rip open these droves of cheesy freaking glossy cards plastered with smiling kids in matching reindeer sweaters. I would fake a smile and go “aw how cute,” when really I was thinking ow my fucking head, why did I let myself get talked into Slippery Nipple shots last night anyway?

And so I’ve deleted 90% of Those Who Will Not Miss The Card from the list.

I swear, I’m not just being lazy. Or cheap. Or saving time due to the fact that it’s 26 hours from Christmas and I haven’t even bought stamps yet.

No, really.



29 thoughts on “It’s not lazy. It’s a public service.”

  1. we’re childless and I love getting the photo card from our friends with kids. However, due to belt tightening, we sent an electronic holiday greeting to all our friends this year.

  2. I am cracking up. At least you have New Year’s cards. It is a pitiful shame that I have the capacity to generate and design cards at home and still didn’t do it. I however Am claiming lazy.

  3. One friend of ours got us her family Christmas cards on Valentine’s Day last year. This year? I got it before Thanksgiving. She’s working on her timing.Just keep saying, “Thanksgiving was a week late this year” (so we lost a week of shopping), and it should make you feel like you are right on time.

  4. I shortened our list a bit this year too.Stamping and addressing as we speak (type?), so they won’t make it by Christmas, but I choose “Happy Holidays” on purpose. New Year’s and MLK day are holidays too.

  5. Too funny! I never send that stuff out, because I am the horrible wretch that goes “Aw how cute.” And then chucks ’em in the recycling.

  6. Well, I accidentally hit quantity 79 instead of 70, so I have like 10 spare photos if you want to send some of mine out… Maybe they won’t notice?

  7. I’m proud to say that we’ve never done one of those cheesy family photo holiday cards. Mostly due to the fact that we’re inherently lazy. Isn’t it funny though when friends send holiday cards with ONLY photos of their kids? Most of the time, I look at the card and think, “Who the fuck is that?”Oh well. Happy holidays, Liz! Cocktails after the new year?

  8. I decided once, when I was a single busy woman and had gotten a bit late with cards, that people would probably prefer to get a note from me in April than not at all. So some said Happy Holidays at the top and others Happy Valentines and even some Happy Easter. Now we mass produce them with photos of kids and I feel badly that I don’t write everyone a note.

  9. Happy holidays, Liz. (I would have loved to get your card when I was a single, overindulging margarita drinker. … But I get your point. I was just weird.

  10. Happy New Year’s! that’s hilarious. i actually wrote a post on my 2 pet peeves w holiday cards: pics of kids only (hello — i was friends u first, not just ur kids) and cards with not even a signature.Now, having a child myself, i make sure my card includes a photo of the whole family and that i sign them. i only just got my cards in the mail on monday. ha!

  11. slippery nipples..hee hee. Holiday cards – cheestastic and I love them! Mine only got mailed on Monday – just blame the kids for the lateness, I do.

  12. Why is a nice Jewish gal worrying about “Christmas” cards? Isn’t NOT being obliged to send c-cards one of the few benefits of having the goyum (spelling? I’m not Jewish just a FOJ) frenzy forced upon you this time of year? Goodness. It’s swell you want to send cards. New Year’s cards is more that great. Also, I think folks with out kids are “childfree” not “childless.” I’ve noticed the childfree appreciate that.Save the guilt for other seasons.Happy Joy!

  13. Oh man so I’m all politically incorrect and on Christmas too. I guess it makes sense if your abode is diaper free, your clothes are puke-free, and your evenings are stuck-at-home free, then yeah, you’d be childfree too.

  14. I’m so torn over Christmas cards. I love them, and love getting them, but feel that they are sort of show-offy.Ours this year is one of those collages with photos of us in San Francisco, Spain, and England. I thought it would be funny to print a greeting like, “Happy Holidays! We Travel More Than You”, but was afraid some people might not think it was funny.

  15. Jamie, I love that. We were actually going to print on ours “enjoy the generic but cute enough to justify it holiday card.”And yeah, I had images of head-shaking inlaws in my head.

  16. I’m reading this posting as I sit here addressing our New Years cards and swear it could be a post from my blog… You are SO right, these are totally “check out how cute my kid is” show off cards that my kid-free friends won’t care about.

  17. Really? I always loved getting pictures of my friend’s kids. After they had children, I never saw them as often, and seeing those holiday cards was like a brief glimpse into their lives.To be honest, I always wished people would send me more photos of their kids. I understand that they don’t think other people are as interested – and let’s be fair, I really don’t care about every detail of the latest soccer game – but I love seeing them grow up through photos when I can’t see them grow up in person.

  18. As a happily childfree single, I laughed out loud at this one! Thank you… I didn’t think anyone else hated those things as much as I do! This year I got a fridge magnet, post-card-sized, with other people’s kids on it. Of course, this is the person who tried to hand me her prolific drooler every single time she saw me. She gave my polite voice a real workout.This year, I actually toyed with the idea of sending cards out with my cats on them, but those who need to get the message wouldn’t. Can you imagine getting a card that read,”This year, Spooky showed her awesome hunting skills by capturing and bringing home a nest of baby rat snakes and at least a dozen large field rats. Mommy’s so proud!”

  19. I’m so glad I’m not the only one sending these things out late. Although, maybe I am. Because it is December 27th as I write this, and I just sent out the last batch this morning. I had to handwrite “Happy New Year!” on each one to delude myself into thinking the card is still timely–not that I think I’m fooling anyone else. I was thinking about you because I went back in my blog archives to read posts from when my firstborn was the same age my second child is now, and your comments always made me smile. Thanks so much for your support when I was starting out (we both were, I guess, though it’s hard to imagine you weren’t always a blogging superstar!). I see you around continuing to inspire and motivate new bloggers and I just want to say it really means a lot. Best wishes and HAPPY NEW YEAR! 🙂

  20. What a great place to vent about holiday cards. Here’s mine:I cross people off the list from whom I did not get a card last year. Then that extra card goes to someone new that I get a card from THIS year.I include pics of myself and my husband so our friends who never see us get to say “Ooh, she got fat” or “Why did he grow a BEARD?” and feel superior. It’s like a special, free, holiday gift for them. Our cute kids make me feel better about sending them.Then I publish the outtakes on my blog. Here are this year’s:

  21. I always wonder whether to send our holiday card to my friends without children. Because when I was single, I definitely didn’t give a crap about cute pictures of others kids.

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