22 months, 5 days

Today Sage is 22 months and 5 days, which should be an entirely unremarkable occasion, not worthy of fanfare or fireworks or really even a post.

Except for the fact that it’s exactly the age that Thalia was the day Sage was born.

And it’s completely blowing my mind.

I keep thinking of Thalia that weekend – showing up at the hospital so proud of her new dress from grandma (and how Sage is so not into dresses), singing the entire alphabet (and how Sage can’t quite get past E yet), getting ready to give up the binkies (which, well, no way. Sage isn’t even close). It’s hard not to compare.

Somehow Thalia seemed so much older at this age. Like she had been around longer, seen more, traveled more, done more.

Like I knew her better.

I suppose that’s the irrevocable benefit of being the firstborn: More uninterrupted time with mommy during which you get solo playground visits, swimming pool time, and a chance to learn the alphabet right through to Z.

But then I think of how at 22 months and 5 days, we still had Thalia playing in a Pack n Play. Or how she was still sleeping in our bed. (Oy.) And she sure didn’t have a sister around to teach her how to slurp her pasta, play “Baby Groundhog,” or use a red-handled scissors.

She also had no one to read the Nutcracker with or dance wildly to Go for G.

And now they have each other.

A lot can happen in 22 months and 5 days. Even if it’s not what you think it will be.


44 thoughts on “22 months, 5 days”

  1. Brynn will be 3.5 tomorrow and I remember like it was yesterday the day she turned 10 months, 3 weeks and 5 days old and thinking how that was the age Colin was when she was born. Then I ran right to the doctor and had an IUD installed.

  2. Yes…. my middle child just turned 6 and I still think he is my baby but he is so tall and big, and he is a boy now…. My oldest has always been the oldest and my youngest always the youngest but for some reason seeing him so big is blowing my mind!

  3. What a darling post. And I like your reflections on how it changes with the second. I see the same things with my two boys.Your little one is only a few days older than my little one, sinc he was 22 months yesterday…

  4. It’s true, the second child will never get the same undivided attention. But like you say, they also get a lot out of having an older sibling. What I love is watching how they adore each other (most of the time). That makes it all worthwhile, I think.

  5. I’m not a mother, so I don’t have much insight into first child / second child business. I just wanted to say: your girls are SO gorgeous! I love the pictures!

  6. My eyes teared up, excuse me, sniff. My baby is 11 months now, and I think how I’m not giving him as much of me as I could give my older son at the same age. But he’s “playing drums” and all kinds of things that he learns from his big brother, and I hope they’ll be best friends. Or at least tolerate each other.

  7. Mine are 19 months apart and we recently passed your landmark. I was just the same, thinking about their differences (and feeling guilty that the youngst got so much less Mummy time than the eldest). But, the main thing it reminded me was that they are different, have different skills and talents and are best at being themselves doing what they do best. Weirdly, they have a particularly brilliant talent for ignoring their mother completely, something I feel they must have inherited from their Daddy. Loving them for it. Love your girls too – what total sweeties.

  8. Mine are 22 months and 9 days apart and BEST friends. I felt so guilty for the first year, but now that they are 3 and 5 they have a relationship (and have for some time) that my husband and I could not duplicate for them. My 5 year old and I went out on a date tonight, and that was really special for both of us, but we were both surprised by how quiet the car was and as soon as we got home he ran right in to play with his brother.

  9. Truly, I’m only just feeling like I’m getting to know my kids as individuals these past few months. That is one of the downsides of twins. I knew they were different, I knew their differences, but I didn’t really have the individual time with each of them to know their innerselves. And I’m loving it.

  10. What lovely children. My “babies” are grown-up and all I can say is that time just passes too quickly. Enjoy every second.

  11. I love being a first born but when I look at my sister, and at my own 2nd born, I can see the huge advantages of having an older sibling too. I was just wondering why I never marked this same milestone when second-born Jilly turned 2 years/2 months, and realized it’s b/c when she was 18 mos, I had her little brother, and all was lost in the haze.

  12. Yesterday my mom was asking me about something that my 4 yo daughter wasn’t doing that my 6 yo son was at her age. I said, well, she’s doing lots of things that he wasn’t doing at her age. The are very different people, not the same kid who have different interests and are doing things differently than the other one did, or is going to do.

  13. Oh I understand this completely! When Cordy was the age Mira is now, she could speak well and count to 10. Mira can’t pronounce a single word that has consonants and seems so far behind in those areas, yet she’s amazingly social and her problem solving skills are scary. But I guess I’m the one who is most different. I parent Mira so differently than I did Cordy.

  14. Mine are three years apart – almost to the day. I was definitely pushing more with Jake (the oldest)when he was Maggie’s age. Potty training, giving up the pacifier, moving to a big bed. Check on all. Of course, that was mostly because I wanted to be past all of that by the time Mags was born. She? Not potty trained, still sleeps with the paci, in her crib.

  15. I really love this post because I didn’t get to see my girls at these ages. I also haven’t been with them long enough to see what each was like at a specific age. I think being the second kid makes a difference because I was the second kid. My mom always said that my older brother didn’t go through the terrible twos until I did because she was always able to be right on top of him. And when I came along, she had to split herself between the two of us.

  16. They’re both turning into such beautifull little monkeys too. Since I can’t even imagine how you entered into the murky waters of pregnancy a second time I’m gonna ask the question…. when are you going for the third? 🙂Amy

  17. Sweeeeeet. My kids were born in the same month, so it’s hard not to compare where they were then, and where they are now. The little man always had an amazing vocabulary, but Phe is the physical one– able to climb the tallest slide with no fear. Just lately have I noticed how much they like to play together, and it blows my mind.This time two years ago I was pregnant with Phe and I cannot help but imagine if I was pregnant now; waddling around chasing after TWO toddlers. Oy vey. Guess we gotta have the “V” talk again…

  18. The entire alphabet at 22 months? That is impressive. I need to start thinking about getting pregnant again…my little man turned 2 this week. I don’t know if I am quite ready but the picture of your two girls and their closeness is inspiring. 🙂

  19. I am also about to approach this same milestone (although for us it’s 33 months) and it is blowing my mind in the exact same ways you wrote about. Nice to know others feel this way, too. (shannon@livinginthegray.com)

  20. I have been reading your blog since you were pregnant with Sage. I have two boys almost the same ages as your adorable girls. Tomorrow my baby will be 22 months, 9 days, the age that his brother was the day he was born. I can relate to so much of what you write about your children. This post really hit home, as I am noticing the differences between my two and sometimes feel guilty about how much more time and attention I was able to give my oldest. You are right that there are also many treasures that the second child brings to our lives. I always enjoy reading about you and your girls; it’s reassuring to know that there are other moms thinking and going through the same things that I am experiencing!

  21. It’s funny how most of the guilt expressed here centers on the second child not getting enough attention. My guilt was all about me short-changing my older child’s babyhood. He was only 15 months old when the new baby arrived and I expected him to be so grown-up! Yikes. I guess the truth is, guilt is a fundamental part of being a mother. We’re not going to escape it. Yet, our kids gain so much from having a sibling, especially one so close in age. My kids are BFFs now, and it’s great to see.

  22. Every time I feel we are slighting Nathan Jr in some way – because he’s not the firstborn or even the secondborn and gets attention only when he’s wailing – I watch the way he looks at his big brother and big sister and think “Wow. Our older kids got SCREWED.”

  23. I remember reading when Thalia was an only child, and reading when Sage was born, and reading this now it’s very difficult to wrap my mind around how much time has passed. I think I may have sniffled once or twice, but we’ll just, um, overlook that.What a beautiful post for two beautiful little girls =)

  24. @Susan indeed it seems we’re always thinking about what we took away from one child or another when siblings came in the picture. I keep trying to remind myself what we gave them.

  25. mine are 22 months apart as well and we’re about to hit that milestone. I too think of how my oldest seemed so much older. It also reminds me of how time really flies, even on days when it seems to be crawling by. (like today!)

  26. Isn’t it nuts? I just had the same exact milestone with Lucy, and I was shocked at the differences. She is so much more advanced than Sam was when she was born that it blows my mind! But I guess she has more than one person showing her how to do things, and Sam just had me. Plus she’s a girl, and we all know that girls are just naturally more advanced, right? They are both lovely, and you are a lucky woman for sure.

  27. The alphabet song? I am seriously impressed and also feeling guilty that I haven’t even considered teaching that to my daughter. Or her soon to be born sister.

  28. I can hardly believe how big she is. Heck, how big both of them are.Watching our children enjoy their siblings – it’s amazing, isn’t it?

  29. Oh God! You had me crying at “Like I knew her better.” Wow. My oldest felt so much older when he became a big brother than my second. On my fourth now, so that could explain some of these emotions. Love it all.

  30. What a sweet anniversary or whatever you call it. I remember when you were deciding whether to go for #2. Amazing.I miss that age with my daughter, who is coming up on 13 years pretty darned quick. But you know what? Almost 13 is pretty good, too.

  31. Beautiful Liz, they are both beautiful. The things that you listed, are so much more important than knowing the entire alphabet. I compared too, because that’s what we do. My second doesn’t compete though. She’s just her, too busy doing her own thing to do things the way her big sister did. I look at my tiny son, almost six months and I barely remember my girls at this age. So basically, but the third kid, you are so forgetful that you can’t compare them in any way. Have a third, see what happens. 😉

  32. New favorite post – so heartfelt and thoughtful, you spoke for me! I just experienced your exact feelings last month, Duke turned 14.5 months and I look at him and shake my head and wonder how in the world I managed Jack at that age with a newborn. I think I was well into the lack of sleep to realize the craziness that it was. And although I daily think about how much more attention I feel I pay to Jack no matter how hard I try not to, I still feel like Duke gets shortchanged. And then I saw my blog tags and noticed I had 24 devoted to Duke and 23 to Jack. Guess I am not favoring like I worried. Don’t be suprised if you happen to see a post on my blog on this soon on same topic, hope you don’t mind. p.s. Duke (15mos.) had his 2nd sucker yesterday as a treat for a special day – Jack never saw one appear until 2yrs+…that 2nd one gets spoiled more than I’ve realized!

  33. I’m having the opposite experience because my #2 talks so much more, seems more savvy and aware, and I have worked less during her life, therefore spending more time with her. Julian was 2.8 when Scarlett was born. I feel like when she is 2.8 (she is same age as Sage) she will be a fully functional preschooled. She is showing signs of potty readiness about 18 months ahead of her brother. Girls! Or maybe, Boys!

  34. This is so cute. I have 2 sons and I wrote a post a long time ago comparing them — kind of more about milestones and what each were doing in their respective ages and how much they differed. They’ve really grown into being close brothers. I need to write about that again because they’ve gotten so much older since!

  35. I have two girls, 5 and 3, and my husband and I often look at the little one and think, hmmm…by that age, Z. was doing this and Z. was doing that. And there’s always a little (okay a lot) of guilt that the little one will never be the one who ever gets the 100 percent attention (she will however have 100 lurve, because, love is, well, infinittely expandable). Sigh. Sooo fun to have two girls though.

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