Oh God, not again

I am officially living some horrible hair nightmare.

Because just as I am recovering from Sage’s traumatizing haircut (me being the traumatized one), my mother greets me today with the line, Don’t kill me…

And as we all know, no good can come of a conversation starting with Don’t kill me but…

Indeed, she decided that even after Thalia’s own pretty lame haircut Friday, that Thalia still needed her bangs trimmed. Just a little bit more. Just enough to get them out of her eyes.

And so my mother took it upon herself to…


I can’t even say it.

Inside, I scream.


62 thoughts on “Oh God, not again”

  1. Dude. It took Kyle more than five years to stop talking about how my mother trimmed Tacy's hair without asking our permission. I feel your pain.

    That said, nothing – not even a shearing – can mar Thalia's beauty.

  2. Oh MAN.
    Somewhere, Liz, there is some SERIOUSLY JACKED UP hair karma in your past.

    Maybe it was the Midwest Hair post.


  3. Oh, she's adorable. But I know your pain. Kyle just took E for another haircut and oof, the bangs, THE BANGS.

    And remind me some time to show you the bad haircut pictures from my own childhood. SCA-ARY.

  4. Agree with Julie. Your daughters are gorgeous. They (and you) will get through this.

    My husband used to take Douglas to HaircutsRUs until I finally put my foot down a few years ago and began taking him to the same woman who cuts my hair. I know it is probably different in NY, esp. costwise, but worth finding someone who does a good job with kid hair.

  5. Cannot stop laughing.

    But only because I too, have seen that haircut staring back at me from my own daughter's head.


  6. Eh, my daughter had a mullet that took 2 years to grow out thanks to her brother's hair-stylist aspirations. I think Thalia looks positively gamine and Amelie-like. 🙂

  7. Oh, goodness. Poor Thalia! Poor you! She's still cute as a button though.

    My mom called me one day when she was keeping my son and said that exact thing…”Don't kill me…but I just shaved your son practically bald.”

  8. My mom cut my hair for years. My 2nd grade picture looked like she trimmed my bangs with pinking shears.

    In 7th grade, I went in for my first professional haircut. The first thing the stylist said? “Who did THIS to YOU?”

    My mom hid in the waiting area and never fessed up.


  9. If I had a nickel for every time I've had to say “she means well” about my mother, I'd be stinkin, rich! What can we do, though – grin and bear it, I guess. At least kids' hair grows quickly. You may be able to get the damage corrected before Xmas. Perhaps…..

  10. I think if I ever stop homeschooling, I'll have to start paying for haircuts, because mine always turn out like that. I've never even cut my daughter's hair for fear that I'd mess up her curls. The boys seem to not mind too much.

  11. No! This is good! People will see S&T together and think you are an ahead-of-your-time trendsetter. Also, now they match! Bonus'!

  12. I am beginning to understand why people always look at me with awe and reverence when they ask where I get my kids' hair cut and I tell them that I do it myself.

    (No, I have never jacked up bangs like that. Yowza.)

    I'm thinking the ability to give a good trim may actually be a more valuable skill than being able to write. 😉

  13. They're both still cute!

    Maybe have them wear cute matching hats for the x-mas photos?

  14. Reminds me of hairdos from my childhood….
    Just add the curly hair factor to them, and every haircut forced on me under the age of 12 had the EXACT same result.
    Poor girl… Like I always say, it's only hair. It will grow out.

  15. Oh….I'm cracking up (I'm sorry!) but there is nothing that could happen to her hair to dim all that cute.

    And, if I were you, DO NOT GET A HAIR CUT this week. Things happen in 3's. Send Nate.

  16. Holy. Oh. Really? REALLY? Sorry.

    Have a portrait done with the girls. Give it to your mom as a gift. Tell her she must hang it in her living room.

    She will never, ever touch their hair again.

    As for karma, you shall all have soft, shiny locks forever and ever amen.

  17. Holy CRAP.

    Perhaps, you can soothe yourself by thinking of how much you are going to laugh about this years and years and years from now as you peruse all of your holiday photos. A tale that will be told for generations? Perhaps?

  18. First off, she is sooo Liz Junior.

    2nd off, OMG how gorgeous is that little Mama???

    3rdly- I so feel your pain on the Mom thing, but I WISH Ella would cut her bangs again- I loved that retro 1920s look, and Barrettes will be the death of me. Or Watty, he eats them. Sigh.

  19. That is one horrible job your mom did. But on the other hand she kind of looks like Amelie – you know the French film character – which would be an oh so chic statement.

    Can't wait to see the holiday photos!

  20. My dd wanted a bob. She had waist length beautiful hair. I french braid, twist, do tons with her hair. dh took it upon himself to have the BARBER bob her. To say the least, she looked like her hair had been cut with one of those razer thingees they sharpen on leather belts. I took her to the salon for a repair and barely contained my fury. Of course when the time came to swim and her hair was in her eyes and she wanted a pony tail I did have the satisfaction of explaining to them both “your hair is too short for a pony tail. That's part of why I didn't want it bobbed.” I am a MOM. I have reasonings behind everything I say no to.

  21. Sorry honey, I totally sympathize–with your mom. I'm the mom who screwed my own kids hair time and time again because I figured I could just “take a little off…”

  22. Laughing so hard. Because sadly, I've done that to myself.

    It'll grow. Love the portrait for Christmas idea. She really will never touch Thalia's hair again.

  23. At first our hairdresser demanded that my mother “stop ruining this child's hair” and then next time she ranted for a few minutes about someday she wasn't going to be able to fix Nana's mistakes. Now she tries to coach me, to coach mom on how to properly trim bangs. Like me, the hairdresser has given up on trying to stop Nana and her kitchen scissors. Our girls are lucky they can rock these mistakes. Solidarity in the sisterhood of bad bangs *chest thump* At least the girls are cute enough to pull anything off.

  24. Liz, you realize all of these “but she's still cute” comments stem from the very real fear your readers have that you're going to leave your child on the street because of her hair.

    Not that you shouldn't, mind you, because jeez look at that hair.

  25. Oh the trevails of motherhood! And you've probably already been told this, but hair does grow, thankfully……

    I'm not naming names, but let's just say that, a number of years ago, a certain mom may have told her 5 year old daughter that her new pink plastic safety scissors could not possibly cut hair and not to even try it; and the certain inquisitive 5 year old may have decided to try it anyway; and the new pink plastic safety scissors may have left a really large gap in an otherwise pristine haircut on a certain nameless 5 year old daughter's head, therefore proving the otherwise very smart mother wrong.

    I know a certain mom (whose inquisitive daughter's bad haircut grew out, and whose daughter is now in college) who kinda, sorta misses those days. . . but I’ll never tell.

  26. I'm pregnant with my first daughter, due in April, and as soon as I read this I emailed both my mom (who just cut her own hair this weekend!) and my mother-in-law. I explained that they are NEVER to have a pair of scissors anywhere near her head. Not even trying to be nice.
    Thank you for possibly saving my daughter from this! And I agree with everyone else, no hair cut could take away from your girls' cuteness!

  27. Oh Amanda, that just made me laugh out loud! I'm glad that my foibles can serve as a cautionary tale for eager, scissor-wielding grandmothers everywhere.

  28. Liz, this picture (and the one in the link to the little dutch boy's haircut) are way too cute. I am one of 5 girls, and my mom was so bad with haircuts that she stuck to bowl cuts and crappy bangs. In our childhood family pictures we all look like Nicholas Bradford, and we still have not forgiven her.

    Good luck with the grow-outs. 😉

  29. Oh, man, seriously Liz– every time I look at pictures of Thalia all I can see is her beautiful eyes.

    That said, this would drive me nuts, too. Would? I mean does. My son inherited his father's hair texture- meaning not curly, not straight, but full of weird waves and cowlicks and it is VERY hard to get his hair cut right. Not to mention the fact that his sensory issues make it VERY hard for him to sit still during a hair cut. I have started doing it myself. Which means, due to my very limited hair styling skills, that he now lives with a modified bowl cut and looks sort of like a red-headed Spock. But you know, at least it's cut straight . . .

  30. Ah yes, you're bringing back all sorts of memories for me. My mom was scissor happy too…with my hair. The day before high school pictures. I'm still working through the trauma on that one.

    She's still one adorable kid. Maybe she'll be a trendsetter for a whole new style.

  31. I don't mean to laugh at your troubles, but that right there is funny. I can't believe it's happened twice in a week! For what it's worth, she still looks very cute.

  32. I was in a kindergarten class today. Seventeen girls. None. Not one with bangs any better than Thalia's, I swear. And I looked very, very carefully. Either I cut all of their bangs or else I belong to a Secret Cult of Grandmother Barberetts.

  33. Ha! My “best friend”/neighbor graced me similarly when I was 9. Seemed like a great idea at the time — a very authentic “let's play hairdresser!”. Only I was the only one of us with long hair. And “was” being the operative word. Sympathies, MOlly

  34. wow. good thing she's cute.

    we have all lived thru that – and it's just another picture to save up for date night!

  35. At least you can all look back in 20 years at the holiday pics from '09 and have a good chuckle 🙂 They still look beautiful…

  36. ohhhhhhhhhhhh wow. I've given some bad bang-trims in my day, but I don't think even my worst efforts match that.

    Poor girl. She seems to be wearing it with spunk, though.

  37. My four year old became obsessed with cutting her own hair from age 1 to age 3.5, when she chopped it so severely that we had to shave her head and start over. She looked like an Auschwits refugee for six months. Why didn't I just hide/lock away/throw away the scissors? I did. She would find them, and lightening quick, chop away until she was discovered, usually in a matter of seconds. Why are hair issues so painful?

  38. one day it will be funny. perhaps today is not the day.
    she's still stinkin' cute.
    i would definitely make my mom buy me something major.

  39. I assume that the “Don't kill me” was just a request and is not legally binding or anything, right?

  40. I am so glad I am not the only mom suffering from child's hair guilt.

    Lessons learned:
    1. It will (eventually) grow back
    2. Kids can't help but look precious- especially your adorable little gals!
    3. She is probably too young to give a damn and it is hurting you way more than her.

    Thanks for making me laugh. Again. As usual.

  41. I totallyl feel ya on this one.

    You've seen Reagan's hair. You told me to dread it, after all. My mother did the same thing- she cut bangs while I was away and she was watching her. “I just had to get it out of her eyes! It was making ME crazy!” Making HER crazy. Ugh.

    You DON'T just cut curly hair straight across. She looks insane now.

  42. I feel your pain too. My son has done that as well… Of course it was the day before his class picture in kindergarten.

    Gosh, she's growing up so fast. I remember you writing about the pregnancy. And she's now no longer a baby!

  43. (To clarify since I am a sleep deprived dork today.) I remember you writing about Sage's pregnancy as well as the early days with Thalia.

    My mom and MIL know not to get near my wiggly son with a scissors. He can't sit still and they'd probably poke an eye out. But “the boy” spent kindergarten trying to cut his bangs. No idea why. But after the first two tries I started hiding the craft scissors.

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