Men are from Wars…

Last night I dragged myself through the front door, exhausted after an 11-hour day the office. (One of course filled with nothing but happiness and magic kittens and singing cartoon bluebirds tweeting sweet sounds of encouragement and praise into my ears all day.) I was too late for the kids.

I kissed the sleeping Sage on the forehead, and Thalia and I squeezed in one tight, heartfelt hug in the dark before she flopped down and went back to bed.

I slumped onto the living room couch and threw my feet up onto the coffee table, breaking out the laptop and enjoying a glass of cool Albarino and the silence but for the tapping of my keys.

At which point Nate thought it was a fine time to hook up the Wii and turn on MODERN WARFARE II, filling the house with sounds of MACHINE GUNS and PEOPLE SCREAMING and GRENADE FIRE and DEATH AND CARNAGE ARGGHHHHHHH.

“You know,” I said. “Those aren’t exactly the most relaxing sounds to come home to. They’re not quite filling me with the serenity and and peace I would hope for right now.”

He didn’t hear me. He was too busy yapping into his bluetooth headset to long-distance teammates, and wondering whether the player named BrooklynDaddy was someone he already knows or should be BFF with. So they could bond. Over Brooklyn and daddying and DEATH AND CARNAGE ARGGHHHHHHH.

So I grabbed my wine and went into the bedroom. And turned on the small TV.

Because the sound of nasal-y New Jersey housewives fighting in high-pitched voices over who pulled whose hay-uh? Now that is the civilized way to unwind.


24 thoughts on “Men are from Wars…”

  1. Good LAWD! UGH! I would have knocked my cocktail into the wii console.

    (I prefer the RH o' NYC but I'm embarrassed to admit I can't look away if the Jersey show is on. It makes me feel better about my life and the women I call friends.)

  2. But Mrs. Q, the housewives aren't your friends?

    They're my friends in the TV. We're on a first name basis. All of us.

  3. A can's listen to music while he does anything, I hate total quiet. We are quite the opposites. However, we've both been known to relax (pre kid) by killing stuff in online games. Now I don't have time for it and get more frustrated that he thinks he still does.

  4. I used to play first-person shooter games a lot so I get the pull but the Housewives… lol – “civilized” even made Caroline laugh. 😉

  5. Gee, maybe we shouldn't get a Wii. You are a nicer wife than I am, that's for sure. But just so you know, the RH of NJ have actually filmed (once) in my town, so I'm pretty sure they're my BFFs.

  6. We have a rule in our house, with the only TV in the only communal living space.

    If you're going to shoot things, I don't want to hear it. So my husband has little earbuds he plugs into his Wii shooter-gun thingie (that he wanted for Christmukkah last year and I begrudgingly bought him) and he shoots away while I check up on my Internets in peace.

    It's not perfect, but it works for us. 🙂

  7. That's exactly how I feel when my husband insists on watching basketball on tv. Give me any other sport and I will tolerate it, but basketball with that loud damned ball and those loud-ass gigantic sneakers slapping the wood-floored court and that loud damned whistle every five seconds? Give me a break, man. That's when I retire to the bedroom and bask in the glory of Lifetime.

  8. Ahh, wine, TV & a laptop, nuthin beats it.
    At least he doesn't get the kids all riled up. that's my husband's way of relaxing, work the kids into a giggling screaming frenzy then wonder why they can't fall asleep.

  9. Our mutual friend Dylan asked if John and I lived together since we communicate via email at night. Listen, his idea of “good TV” and my idea of “good TV” only intersect during MadMen and WipeOut. Otherwise, we retreat to different spots of the house until bedtime.

  10. haha–I can so relate. Even your words to him was exactly what i said when my husband, to relax after a long day would watch CSI, Criminal Minds or 24 at top volume at that. Now if I'm beside him, he can only watch “How I Met your Mother”..

  11. Oh lord, the video games. My daughter was gone for a week, and I missed her horribly. But I didn't miss the x-box. And she doesn't even play loud war type machine gun games. But we only have one TV, so how am I supposed to watch old 90210 reruns if she's always on the stupid x-box? Right?

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