Calling all inventors. Or pharmacists?

Do you ever feel like you are going to break? Just…split in two from pressure and work and responsibilities and dirty dishes and toys under the couch and the pile of clothes flung over the back of your chair that you meant to put away in the closet three weeks ago and oh look–we’re out of butter again.

Do you ever think that even 14 weeks in a hammock in the South of France would still not amply restore your energy coffers?

Do you ever wish there were a magic pill you could pop that could make all the assholes disappear from your life, raise the temperature by 50%, buy you 6 more hours in your day, take inches off your thighs and hips, double your income, and maybe conjure up your own personal butler?

I don’t have such a pill. Even though it kind of sounds that way. (Hey, maybe I should write infomercials for a living!)

I was just asking.


39 thoughts on “Calling all inventors. Or pharmacists?”

  1. Yes. I do. BUT. I remember that everything I am stressing about is just stress I am putting upon myself. Hence the reason I am sitting at a cluttered desk and don't really care that much about the dishes in the sink. It's a snowy day and I'm going to enjoy the view with a cup of coffee. Screw the responsibilities.

  2. I remember those days when you got to the end and you wondered how you managed to slog through. But you do and one day, you have two in college and one in high school and all is great with the world…but then, you get a phone call and the college one is freaking out and you can't fix it and you can't hug her and you MISS those times when there were too many things, but they were little…and a kiss and hug would solve them.

    Just saying…

  3. Wow sign me up.

    I think we especially need it this time of year before the hope & warmth that spring brings.

  4. I'd like to be able to freeze time for everyone, except me. Then I could, at a leisurely pace catch up on everything that needs to get done, take a nap, have a lovely snack, get *ahead* on some work, and then unfreeze everyone else.

    They'd all wonder how I got so calm, refreshed, and caught up.

  5. Yes, that pill exists. And now that Charlie Sheen's in rehab, the rest of us have a shot at scoring it.

  6. With ya on this one, although I do have one recommendation. I've always found that finding some way to squeeze in a hot yoga class when life gets this way makes a huge difference. For one thing, it's…hot. And for another, it always lowers my stress and suddenly I don't care so much about the piles that surround my bed.

  7. Oh Jen, let's put that idea to work stat.

    Mara that sounds lovely. I have a free slot between 4:30 and 5:30 am. Do they offer class then?

  8. Absofreakinglootley.

    Add to it a little magice so I can bed and not wake up at 3:30 a.m. thinking about what's ahead and laying there useless until the alarm goes off at 5. Because that shit has got to stop around here soon. My kids have been sleeping through the night for 2 years and now I can't!

  9. Yeah, that. Lately it's been bad for me. The thing is, my logical side tells me the trail of cereal on the floor, the unfinished work (that was due a month ago) and the mountain of laundry are inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. Yet, they still make me upset and stressed and generally insane.

  10. Yes. Everyone wants all of me, and when I meet even the bare minimum there's nothing left for ME.

    And I wonder… will it get better, or will I just get used to not owning myself?

  11. You know, my husband and I actually did some calculations on how much we would need to earn to be able to afford a cook and a maid on top of the cleaner we already have once a week… and very sadly realised that we'd need to spend so much more time working that we then wouldn't have any time to enjoy not having to tidy up, iron and fix meals. Sigh.

  12. I find it interesting that not one mommy has said “what are you talking about? It's a piece of cake!” I have the “if onlys” – if only I worked outside the home…if only my husband didn't work so much…if only I had someone to clean the house every couple of weeks…if only…if only…maybe it's just, well, life.

  13. Totally. . right now ALL I want is for my daughter to take a nap. OMG. That would be so awesome. But it is NOT happening. I'm so busting out a giant rum and coke when my husband gets home.

  14. I need a pill that helps with homework too. Can we add that ingredient?

    Ha ha ha! My word verification for this comment is: holyness

    I kid you not.

  15. Are you kidding?

    Good Lord, most days I can't feed the baby and get the older boys to stop trying to kill one another while I shove the dog with dirty paws out the door without tears. Lots and lots of tears.

    Fantastic idea. Right now though I have this liquid joy called wine. Every evening. Happy hour starts early here.

  16. Amen, sister. I've got 2 weeks left of a maternity leave and I'm dreading the impending juggle of 4 kids and a full-time job.

    I'm getting a little stir crazy from not working, but don't really want to go back either.

    Life is full of too many have-to's.

  17. “Do you ever think that even 14 weeks in a hammock in the South of France would still not amply restore your energy coffers?” – no, such a thought is terrifying – can you imagine what a mess we would return to after 14 weeks?!

  18. This is EXACTLY how I felt today. Forget that it's been this way for 8 weeks. I said screw it and napped today. Yeah, total mistake.

  19. Yes, yes. This is the time to strip the to-do list to its barest minimum and focus on taking care of yourself. Take out or frozen food for the family for two weeks, declaring email amnesty, and sleeping.

    Love you, Liz. You do so much for us all. Sending hugs.

    ps. Set your Pandora on Journey and turn it up. That's bound to help a little.

  20. I have not heard of such a pill, but if I weren't hundreds of miles away, I WOULD come do your laundry and bring you a bottle of wine.

    Even Superwoman needs a day off.

  21. Yes!

    Although, I'd be satisifed with a pill that would keep me awake and from feeling tired. I would get so much more done, if I didn't have to sleep!

  22. I can't explain the whole story here or why this mattered so much, but this was exactly what I needed to read at just the right moment.

    I love that you are right in the thick of it with your family and your job and the craziness and all the imperfection, and you reminded me that I am too. And I love that. Thanks Liz.

  23. I was thisclose to commenting, and my daughter just discovered me hiding in the upstairs office. Ah well, I did manage 30 minutes of work/relaxing before anyone realized I was missing!

    I'll gladly take a prescription for said magic pill, but gaaaah, can you imagine the copay on that one? 😉

  24. Anyone who says they don't is LYING! Lying, I tell you. Why is it easier some days and so very hard on others? Sigh. Thanks for dose of reality.

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