I now have a first grader and a pre-k-er.
I’ll stop right there before I cry all over my keyboard and blame it on the joy of no more tuition payments. Go public schools!
(That’s my mom’s brand new website by the way. It’s awesome. And you can follow her on twitter at @goingpublicorg. More on that later.)
Thalia bounded home from her second day of school, excited about seeing friends, the shark she drew, and having her first homework assignment. Something tells me she will not be excited about homework forever, but for now, it seems to rank up there somewhere between fairy dust and free ice cream.
I was excited too, I’ll admit; I actually had four free seconds in which to help her with it this weekend.
She unpacked the flat brown paper bag and read the instructions: include two items that help describe your child to her classmates. And be creative.
Two? Just two?
I had heard about this assignment elsewhere, but I was under the impression we’d get more objects. Ten maybe. Five if we were super extra thoughtful. But how do you describe the light of your life in a mere two objects? Small ones, at that?
Now I’m not one to do my kids’ assignments for them, but if it were up to Thalia she would be bringing in a crappy plush animal that I won at Universal Orlando and trying to stuff her sister in the bag.
Instead, we sat down and made a list of all the things that describe her. We talked about her love of art. The way she memorizes so many flowers and birds. Her ability to sing most of Mamma Mia, most of Fish Heads and all of Jingle Bells Batman Smells. The tomato plants she planted at Grandma and Papa’s house. Her insistence that I read just one more chapter every night. Her love of ballet. Her refusal to try foods. Her good, straight soccer kick. The way she loves her sister so much, she’s already got a plan to go down and visit her classroom on her birthday in May.
But how do you describe the way a child runs toward you and throws her arms around you when you get home from work at the end of the day? What object represents the way she squeals when she sees the moon in the sky during the day? What do you put in a bag that says I love this kid so hard, and you classmates had better not break her heart or take away one drop of that sweet innocence or I’ll kill you?
And that’s when I realized oh God, I’m That Mom.
I know it’s just show and tell.
Then again, this is Brooklyn. I’m waiting to hear about the violin bows, the Hamptons equestrian trophies, and some kid’s professionally produced rock video starring him.
Thalia cracked that we should bring an empty box, to represent how much mail we get for my job.
Instead, we settled on her drawing pad from Spain with her sketch of The Three Graces that features her own namesake; plus a photocopy of her favorite illustration in her favorite book, both of which really do say so much about her.
If we were going for accuracy though, we’d have put in a packet of sugar and the television.