My Favorite Fruit, Apple

Dear Apple,

Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you, a million times over for your amazing isight webcam. For less than the cost of a Jet Blue ticket to the coast, I was able to spend an entire half hour with my little girl when I woke up this morning.

Thank you for allowing me see her rub her eyes, as a reminder that her dad kept her up past her morning naptime just for me. Thank you for allowing me to watch her clap, even though she still isn’t mastering the whole palms-coming-together aspect of clapping. Thank you for letting me hear just one little aiiieeeeeeee. Thank you for letting me see her model her new Yankees shirt and her new Yankees onesie and her new Yankees hat. And along the same vein, thank you for giving me a heads up about the state of my forthcoming Amex bill.

Also thank you for letting me catch a glimpse of my English Bulldog, Emily, who I have yet to introduce to the blogworld, which is probably why she’s taken to peeing on the bathroom floor every night as of late. And of course, thank you for giving me a few moments with my partner Nate, even if all he really wanted to do was see my boobs.

If you ever need a not too horrible-looking middle-aged woman with a post-partum belly roll and flabby triceps but pretty good calves to be your spokesperson in your next TV commercial, just say the word. I will work for scale and promise not to bogart the MnMs at the craft service table.

Yours truly,

P.S. I almost forgot to thank you for my first celebrity sighting in L.A. It was a pleasure watching former NBA star and itunes artist Wayman Tisdale performing songs from his new album, Hang Time, yesterday in your Beverly Center store. It made me glad I had reapplied lipstick in my car before entering the mall.

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