You Say You Want a Resolution? Well, Ya Know…

I have spent a lot of time thinking about resolutions over the past few days and the conclusion I have come to is this:

New Year’s resolutions are stupid.

I mean seriously, can you think of a single worst day to start the so-called first day of the rest of your life? You’re tired, you’re possibly hungover, you’re cold. So maybe I vow to get in shape this year but meanwhile the only thing that’s going go to down easy after I wake up with throbbing temples and a mouthful of cotton is two Advil and a supersize order of McGreasy McCarbs.


A whole nine hours into the new year and a trip to the scary drive-thru near the Tillary Street BQE on-ramp later and resolution number one is already shot to hell.

And then, as I look out the window and check out neighbors taking their annoying as all shit New Year’s Day jogs or heading to the gym for a cleansing New Year’s Day yoga class and some stinky tea, it’s not motivating in the least. All it really makes me want to do is bean them in heads with my McWrapper.

But really, it’s not that I don’t like resolutions as a concept, it’s that I’d rather take them on as I think of them, and not letting an arbitrarily created Roman calendar date determine the starting point. I quit smoking on December 26, 2001. I didn’t wait three days. I didn’t wait until the post-9/11 life in NYC got back to relative normalcy. I didn’t wait until I had a boyfriend or a plane trip or a family reunion. I just thought, now is good. And so it was.

Also, I prefer to start a new year on a more positive note, and in a way, I think that resolutions are simply a confession of all your weaknesses, although presented with a positive, self-help kind of a spin.

So instead I want to look back on what I did right this year and what I hope to continue doing well, and maybe even better. Like being a more patient parent than I ever thought possible. Prioritizing the people in my life who need or deserve my attention. Thinking twice before hitting the send button on a snarky email. Learning to be a better go-with-the-flow-er when the times demand it. Turning off the TV once in a while. Knowing that sometimes it’s okay to just chill, and not always be productive every waking moment of the day.

And of course, limiting the McGreasy McCarbs to either sick days, hangover days, seriously bad bad days, and maybe one free bonus day. Just for fun.


34 thoughts on “You Say You Want a Resolution? Well, Ya Know…”

  1. heh. i wrote a new year’s post just like this. down to the arbitrariness of the obviously, i agree.

  2. You and I are on the same page re: McGreasy’s. That’s so how I spent the day before the new year gorging myself under the guise of “I gotta get my kid out of the house and have no babysitter.” Here’s to no New Year’s resolutions and a good french fry once in awhile. Happy New Year!

  3. Amen to this post! I hate resolutions for all the reasons you mentioned. This is what I love about your blog: you always say the things I’m thinking but can’t figure out how to put in words. Thanks

  4. > resolutions are simply a confession of all your weaknessesI couldn’t agree more. I only make resolutions when I’m feeling unhappy with my life. I’m slowly learning not to do this, and reading your post was another step. Thank you!

  5. I like the idea of focusing on what you did right. I feel like I have the same resolutions every year, and they are always so self-critical that I feel restricted and grumpy all through January.

  6. I suck at new year’s resolutions. I’m more of a random mid-year resolution kinda girl.Wishing you an awesome 2008 Liz!

  7. I like to keep my resolutions vague. Like this year, I vowed to be more like the French.Really, they drink all the wine they want, eat these yummy pastries, and saucy noodle carbs and STILL stay skinny. The vague quality means I can french kiss my husband and be living up to my resolution.I love how it works!

  8. I look at gift giving the same way. Why do we need a special day to present someone with a gift? Imagine the delight that would ensue if you presented someone with a gift on some arbitrary day as opposed to waiting until Christmas. <>Here! I saw this and thought of you.<> Wouldn’t the hippopotamus mean so much more then?

  9. All excellent points! Though I have carefully detailed 52 resolutions for 2008, because I am clearly insane (and infinitely flawed). Happy New Year!

  10. Screw resolutions. I write a Gratitude List. Best way I know to bring more good stuff my way is to appreciate what’s already here. Plus it feels good. And who has too much Feel Good in their lives? Come on now…

  11. 1. I resolve to be more resolute.2. And that’s it. I’m not resolving another effing thing. I’m not a super-being!Happy new year to you and your’s, hun. A very happy new year indeed.

  12. Knowing that sometimes it’s okay to just chill, and not always be productive every waking moment of the day. — This is so key. I crave time to wind down, yet when I’m sitting I’m imagining all the things I’m ‘supposed’ to be doing.

  13. Hey Liz,Hope you are all doing great…I made a Revolution, like staying in touch with the Fam….all my loveLane

  14. I’m with you. Let the Resolutionaries vow to do whatever, and I’ll just make up my own mind and quietly do it when I’m ready.

  15. Amen Sister! I like your style and I believe I will focus on the positive too! And to start off my new year, I just got back from Nordstrom’s where I bought 5 new lipsticks, 3 linpliners, a lip gloss, some new blush and a powder compact – I think I look shiny (oops – no shiny – new compact!) and NEW and I’m ready for it – bring it on!Happy New Year!

  16. OMG! Ditto Laura – you seem to say what I’m thinking in such a fantastic way, so thank you. Well said.

  17. What would I do without drive-thru fast food? I only wish Westchester didn’t make it so hard to get to. It’s a full 20 minutes drive to either Wendys or McDonalds. What kind of community planning is that?

  18. What I would do for some greasy McGrease right now, without having to drive an hour to get it…sigh.The only resolution I made was to try and not rip the faces of the adoption peoples who are taking their sweet time.Sadly, as of yesterday, I blew it. Still, I made it three and a half days. That’s gotta count for something…Have a happy new year Liz.

  19. Wait. I thought you lived in Manhattan. You have a car? And a drive-through? Explain more of your life to the Southern people who are fascinated with New York living.

  20. Value wIT – Brooklyn, baby. It’s a whole different kinda borough. although we do still get to buy our flowers from a guy in the nearest subway station.

  21. Well said. Resolutions don’t seem to work for me. Jan. 1 on the calendar doesn’t seem to enhance my efforts.

  22. I’ve got a different take on resolutions. In my mind, I’ve got the whole year to do them! I almost never start on January 1st, but plan to start sometime this year. So when I resolve to stop cursing in front of the Pumpkin (because soon she’ll understand and start repeating), I just mean by the time this year ends I will not do it so much. I’m really easy on myself in that way.Besides, it’s hard to stop cursing in front of the baby when you are watching the Redskins fuck up the playoff game! Grrrr. Hope Nate didn’t get his hopes up like I (and my hubby) started to.

  23. Hi there, I’m new to this blog though many people have recommended it…it just takes awhile to get around to anything. I adore mother uncensored’s approach and I’m wit’ the rest of yous, too. “Now is good.” If I feel like it. But I’m not writing it down, I’m not telling anyone about it, and I’m NOT beating myself up if I don’t stick to it. It’s a hell of an accomplishment to just keep the diapers changed each day.

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