Lucky Charms: God’s Cereal

When you get a pitch from Lucky Charms, you answer it. Because as long-time blog readers know, the Lucky Charms guy is God.

Basically they added a new marshmallow to their cereal and would I like a free sample to find out what it is? How could I resist! My mind reeled at all the outstanding marshmallow shape possibilities:

The number seven?

A gold dubloon?

A skull and crossbones?

A scale representation of the Great Barrier Reef?

A crop circle?

An afro pick?

The virgin mary?

A DNA double helix?

Carmen Miranda?

The Microsoft logo?

Van Gogh’s ear?

(General Mills, if you ever want me in on your new product ideation sessions, I’m available.)

Nope, wrong on all counts. It was an hourglass.


But a magic hourglass with the power to control time.

Evidently it also has the power to turn the entire box of cereal into crack, because it’s the first thing my daughter woke up asking for every morning until it was gone.

By the way, you know you’re getting old when you wish that the Lucky Charms cereal to marshmallow ratio was weighted a little more heavily towards the cereal.

Apologies to all the other PR pitches which did not make it onto my blog this week, including but not limited to a “me time” promotion at a coffee bar on the other side of the country, the chance to win a body and face treatment at the value of ___ (It literally said that. She forgot to fill in the blank), car wax to “keep the interior and exterior of your vehicle in tip top shape, but also work wonders to restore, protect and shine household surfaces”, a coupon for diapers, a new towel, delicious meal and snack recipes, six books, five new websites or blogs, two upload your own video about blahblahblah for a chance to win blahblah contests, a new coffee beverage, some air fresheners, and gum.

I will put you back into the PR pitch fishbowl and draw a new lucky winner to post about at random next week. So keep those pitches coming! I can’t get enough. Especially the ones that address me as “Dear Julie.”

It does help if you have God affiliated with your company.


38 thoughts on “Lucky Charms: God’s Cereal”

  1. I had a bowl of rice-flake-woodchips for breakfast.I miss Lucky Charms. And way to go killing the suspense of the new marshmallow. I remember when they added the purple horseshoe and there was an entire campaign about how the design was related to this one frame of a LC commercial with a big “To Be Continued…” tag at the end. We had to wait half a year or something for the second half to see a big purple horse kick down his stall door and show us the shape.I’ll never that suspense again.Thanks to you :}

  2. Lucky Charms is the magic cereal that has Pie eating breakfast consistently for the first time since the days when I shoved infant rice cereal in her face whether she liked it or not. Of course, she only eats the marshmallows, and whatever “numbers” sneak onto the spoon with them.

  3. Wait. I thought a hourglass is the Microsoft logo?–nerd jokes are the best. aren’t they? Yes, they are the best.–

  4. With that headline, I thought for sure it was going to be a marshmallow crucifix. Van Gogh’s ear is pretty good too though.Mmmmmm. . .Lucky Charms—-I used to eat all the cereal first and save the marshmallows for last.

  5. no, they’re better than crack–they’re magically delicious. there’s no better pms snack fix than a big ol’ box o’ lucky charms or my name isn’t mcclanahan.

  6. I never had lucky charms when I was a kid, and I thought I was so deprived. Now that I am a mom I don’t buy them either. My kids probably feel deprived.

  7. Did you get the one back in the day that noted how much you write about Kraft products? That was my favorite. “I’ve been reading your blog, and I know you eat bagels and other Kraft products for breakfast!”Seriously. I have a high tolerance for that kind of thing, but even that killed me dead. I enjoy KRAFT PRODUCTS.

  8. I would totally blog about Lucky Charms if they sent me some. I’d have to eat it outside though, because SwingDaddy doesn’t like the smell of oats. In the meantime, I guess I’m stuck reading through those StrongMom Similac mailers and getting coupons for yogurt with extra fiber (huh?).

  9. Omigod – I love lucky charms!!! The kids don’t stand a chance when it’s in our house – I inhale it!

  10. I’m partial to Cap’n Crunch myself, although they do not contain the freeze-dried-yet-strangely-delicious marshmallows.I think I like you skull and crossbones idea the best. A hipper, tougher Lucky Charms is the way to go!

  11. I am such a sucky parent that my kids still haven’t had Lucky Charms! Yes, fun times at our place!

  12. We bought a box for St. Patty’s Day. Yeah, I know– it’s not really Irish, but then again, I’m not either, despite my last name. Anyhoo, Jamie and I spent half the morning trying to figure out what some of the shapes were. I swear I thought one was a bomb. And I, too, wished there was a little less ‘smellow and more crunhy bits. My fillings hurt.

  13. I was never allowed to have sugar cereal, this post has my mouth crackling with the memory of the 2 times we had Trix…crack, indeed.

  14. I’d gladly whore myself out for Lucky Charms. Once as a kid I ate all the marshmallows from an entire box and then poured all of the cereal back into the box again. Still had to eat it, though, before I got a new box. And I totally took them up on the diaper coupon offer. Free and cheap are good right now. But a car wax that you can use on household surfaces? Ick.

  15. I have been craving lucky charms for weeks. Tomorrow I will have to fulfill my craving. I’m drooling and counting down the hours until breakfast.

  16. My daughter loves her “luckies” as she calls them. She will eat them all day if she could. So while I’ve been home this week with the kids, she has. <>Father of the year<> here I come!

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