BlogHer ’08 Conference FAQ

I'm Speaking at BlogHer 08

What do I wear?
Sweetney will be wearing a prom dress and I suggest you follow suit.

How will I meet people?
There is a secret handshake that will be revealed if you know the secret code word. You can find it out at the secret party that everyone else got an invitation to besides you.

Do I have to go to every panel?
They’re actually less panels than court-required classes to keep some of us out of prison. Attendance will be taken and violators’ names will be projected on the ballroom screen and shamed.

Will I get free stuff?
Yes, and you are obliged to complain about it in return.

What is the weather like in San Francisco?
It gets very hot in July, like 105, 110. Celsius. Like I said, hot.

How will I get to the hotel from the airport?
Sadly, there is no transportation in most large North American cities. But on the positive side, by the end of the weekend you’ll be in the best shape of your life.

Isn’t this all just some big man-hating thing?
Oh yes. In fact one of the attending male guests will be drawn at random, then sacrificed. It’s always the highlight of the weekend next to the bra-burning mixer and armpit hair challenge.

Will Dooce talk to me?
If you can spot her. She’ll be the one walking around with a big black rectangular bar over her eyes.

Will Mom-101 talk to me?
Probably not.

What if I show up with a booger hanging out of my nose and everyone calls me “Booger Nose” all weekend?
You will blog about it and find instant popularity.


34 thoughts on “BlogHer ’08 Conference FAQ”

  1. I didn’t try the booger last year, but I did walk through the conference center with my the back of my skirt tucked into my panties.Sadly, it did not help my popularity. I think people were just intimidated by my buns of steel.

  2. I am currently fighting the evil pangs of jealousy (and the humidity – oy) that I won’t be attending BlogHer. Hope you enjoy – wait, what am I saying? Any event that includes wine, human sacrifices, and bra burning is guaranteed to be a hit. Can’t wait to hear about every last humiliating detail!

  3. I love that Dooce will be wearing her eye bar. At least you’ll know which one is her. And, you forgot to mention that only “A” list bloggers can sit together and they will scorn any “B” listers who try to communicate with them. Just like high school. Sigh. Sounds like fun. I’d love to see a male sacrifice.

  4. You forgot you’ve got to find the first light-weight who passes out after the obligatory drinking challenge and < HREF="" REL="nofollow">PUT STUFF ON THEM for post fodder<>.

  5. i absolutely cannot wait to wander around insecurely and be completely ignored by you and the other “cool kids.” seriously, it’ll be awesome. just like middle school was.

  6. Exqueeze me, Liz, but I do believe this might be…satire?I’m pretty sure there is a moratorium on satire this week.I suppose if you’re being honest or facetious or sarcastic it is all right.Otherwise, I’ll have to blog about it and I hear there is no popularity like the insta-popularity of Big Blogger Baiting.Even more than booger blogging.(I want you to know I typo’d Bib instead of Big and changed it, but it was making me LOL.)P.S. I know the secret handshake. I saw Paret Trap with Lindsey Lohan so HA.

  7. Money and pregnancy will keep me from Blogher. Although maybe I could hvae given birth on the conference floor while passing a hat. I think that would get me noticed. There’s always next year.

  8. Dude! You forgot to tell them about the initiation ritual. You know the one where we make all the newbies wear their underwear on outside their clothes (after we burn the bras, of course) and walk backwards for the entire first day.

  9. Even if you won’t talk to me, could I get a follow on Twitter? I’m being totally serious.What?Seriously.For reals!Bee-tee-dub, me n’ the C-list girls are gonna talk smack about the A-list girls the whole time, k? Work for you?

  10. Also,Q: Will *anyone* talk to me?A: No. We will all be tapping away at our laptops and sending tweets.

  11. Whew! I was worried there for a minute, because I thought you weren’t going to cover the booger possibility. Now that I know what to do, though, I’m feeling much calmer about the whole thing. Now I’m off to contemplate my imminent internet stardom and thinking I should change the name of my blog to “The Booger Queen.”

  12. Hahaha! Love it.You forgot to add that you can win instant popularity by blogging on Thursday night about those damn mommybloggers and how much you hate them and wish they wouldn’t sit together in their little groups and be so loud. That is a guaranteed success. (Just borrow Dooce’s little black rectangle for your eyes the rest of the time there.)

  13. I won’t be there. But if you check my blog on Sunday morning, I will have a very special message about Hope, Change, and Unity for everyone at BlogHer.You’re welcome.P.S. I CAN’T believe Sweetney stole my idea to wear a prom dress! I’d tell her to her face, but I am afraid of her. She is from Baltimore, don’t you know. 😉

  14. Thanks:) I needed something fun to read as I frantically pack for tomorrow.Fourth Breakfast

  15. Aw, man! I didn’t know there’d be male sacrificing, or I would have made more of an effort to go!

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