Why? Why?

What is it exactly about my bed that makes it more comfortable to sleep on horizontally, Thalia? Because I’d really like to know. Is there some magic spot on the right side that better suits your head? Is there some special happy dream you can have only when your feet are hanging off the left side? Is there something the rest of us are missing here, the rest of us regular vertical bed-sleeping people? Because if we’ve all got it wrong all these years, sleeping the long way on the bed, I think you have the obligation to let us know.

And that whole part where you twist yourself around in the middle of the night until your feet are on my head – what’s with that? It’s hard enough that you will only sleep in my bed for the last six months or so, let alone making up your own rules and flipping around 180 degrees over the course of the night. That is, when you’re not crawling sleepily on top of me so you can fall back asleep face down, spread eagle on my chest.

So…anytime you feel like filling me in, just come find me. I’ll be the one with the circles under my eyes.


35 thoughts on “Why? Why?”

  1. Oh you have my sympathies. I have a terrible time sleeping with a kid in my bed. What worked for us was having our night visitor pick out their own brand new bed sheets. I have no idea why it worked, but maybe it’s worth a try.

  2. I bought my four year old a loft bed. For some reason, the novelty hasn’t worn off yet. *fingers crossed*

  3. I think there’s some super secret code of conduct between the younguns’ Prolly similar to Fight Club … But I hope she tells you. I’d like to know the answer, and lord knows Silas won’t talk.

  4. An acquaintance was describing her child as sleeping “like a starfish” in the middle of the parents’ bed, taking maximum space.

  5. I can’t answer that for you, but I’m right there with ya sister… it’s why I’m sitting up at 1 in the morning instead of going to bed where I rightfully should be.

  6. My kids don’t do that anymore, and I wish I could say that I miss it. Well, I could, but it would be an enormous lie.

  7. I think it’s hard-wired into their DNA. They all do it, don’t they?I used to wake up to find my oldest with her feet propped up on my husband’s face. Oddly, he slept through it every time. Liz, I sound a bit like a stalker when I say this but I think your blog is wonderful. (I feel like I’m 8 and talking to Ian of the Bay City Rollers – “Oh Ian, You’re so awesome with your plaid scarf”) Anyway, I enjoy reading you. You are smart, funny and right on point. I linked you. And I’ll be back for more. Kim

  8. I had to add – Fairly Odd Mother, be glad you’re not the Bunker Hubby, because that kick in the face? Our Bunker Monkey does that to Bunker Hubs, but a little bit farther south. Nothing says WAKE UP like a kick to the crotch. Or so I’ve heard.I swear, these kids must get some kind of training in preschool, or something. Bunker Monkey does the same thing. Crawls into bed at 3am, thrashes around, and finally settles down horizontally, across us and the cat. The only thing MORE fun, is when he wakes up around 4am sobbing from some nightmare.(sigh) I guess I can sleep when I’m dead…

  9. My kids never start the night in my bed. They just seem to end up there by nights end.

  10. i have always wondered, how them kicking me wakes me up, yet me attempting to “readjust” them leaves them sleeping soundly? HOW?

  11. It would seem like I’m the extreme minority in this case. But I’m right there with Thalia on the sleeping sideways. It makes my husband crazy, but sometimes, it’s just more comfortable that way.I suppose I should qualify that by saying that I’m pregnant, and I’ll do just about anything to find a comfy position to enjoy my 2-hours-at-a-time sleep.

  12. It’s stories like this that make me ever more eager to start Ferber training with my baby… (After reading your CIO post and all of the comments that followed, I’m now just waiting until next month after our vacation to get started.)

  13. Gabriel likes to sleep horizontally in bed…with his legs draped over me. And if I, say turn over onto my side in my sleep, he might start kicking me. It’s SUPER fun.

  14. Oh, I so know what you are talking about! Sarah slept exactly like that. It drove me nuts. Now that she is 9 things are better, but boy, I never thought my own child would kick me in the head.

  15. If she tells you, please let me know. Maybe it’s the same reason my dog does it. The kiddo is too busy flailing around to ever sleep sideways… Yeah, our bed can get crowded.

  16. India spends her night either kicking Chris in the back or sleeping curled on my head. Somehow, even though I’m super-tired all the time, I don’t mind that much, because I know she’s my last baby. And she’s not even a baby anymore–she just turned three!

  17. We tend to sleep in a square on our King sized bed: the 4 year old on the left side, my husband on the right and the 18 month old across the top, that leaves me across the bottom 🙂

  18. My husband and I feel so often like we’re making a nightly appearance on Sesame Street. You know how they have people use their bodies to make a letter? And for us, our night’s sleep is always ALWAYS brought to us by the letter “H” with our T. as the short, vertical part in the middle. Well, let me tell you something else, my dear sweet almost abandoning me for kindergarden T. The number of the day? It’s “11” so get back to your own bed! Clearly, you have my sympathies.

  19. I totally do this to my husband if I get up to the bedroom and fall asleep before him. He will have to gently shift me to my side of the bed, and risk waking me up in the process. (Never wake me up if I am asleep.)It is more comfortable to lay sideways across the bed.

  20. Oh how funny Kayleigh – I’m the same way, as far as the don’t-wake-me-up-when-I’m-sleeping rule. In fact, the kid (who’s 4) has already learned not to wake mummy when she’s sleeping (hubs’ favorite game is to tell the kiddo to “go wake mummy”, and he cracks up when the boy says, with a note of dread in his voice, “Oh, no!”). Hubs has yet to learn that though, and he’s 48 (and has been with me for 12 years). Go figure.Actually, our bed is more comfy when you sleep horizontally, too, but I think that’s because it’s a pedia-foam bed, and is less divot-y when you lie that way. I guess the kid is on to something.

  21. Been there. That is why either my husband or I tend to migrate to her little twin bed in the middle of the night – there’s no head-kicking.

  22. When she lets you know, would you mind sharing that nugget of information with me also, because we have the same issues here!

  23. Both of my boys sleep in our bed at least part of the night. One of which refuses to sleep if anyone is touching him. Although it helps that he is the smallest of the four of us, he is also the one who likes to sleep horizontally. He gets in bed about 2 AM and gets between me and the 5 year old. By 2:30 he is lying horizontally at the bottom of the bed where no one can reach him except with maybe a stray foot. Hubs and I have learned to keep our feet to the outside and the 5 year old can’t reach him.So, if you get an answer on this one, please help me solve my problem here. I think it is called plain torture…I did something to someone (probably my own parents) equally as evil one day and now I’m paying for it? Bah!

  24. Is this what I have to look forward to? Mine’s two and still in the crib. You can bet I’m milking that for all it’s worth.

  25. I used to call my daughter (who is now 12) a “circular sleeper”. The dog would jump in bed too and squeeze in between us (we caller her “the wedge”). Eventually someone would give up and sleep on the floor or the couch. They should make one size up from a King bed, call it a family bed. Eventually I had to kick out the dog and my daughter because I needed sleep so badly. I loved sleeping with her, but I couldn’t take one more sleepless night curled up in a ball using 1/8 of my bed. I made 1 night a week a special night where she could fall asleep in bed with me, but I would always put her in her bed after she fell asleep.

  26. For the last year and a half, Anya inevitably ends up in the H position when she’s in our bed. My husband gets her head nestled between his head and shoulders and I get the feet to the kidneys AND pushed to the absolute edge of the bed. I really enjoy having her in the bed with us, except for this part.Lately, she wants to put her head on my pillow too.

  27. frannie slept in our bed for a year, and still comes in every night sometime in the wee hours. which is so fine for everyone else: attachment parents, go you! but i was not ever really okay with it for US. i got socked in the eye by a little fist the other night – what a way to wake up.

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