True Tales from Mobile Home 8

I know I’ve been a bit of a tease lately with a few vague references to the recent family vacation in North Carolina.

Indeed it would be easy to compose a snarky post about certain aspects of the trip. The truth is, it would be disingenuous of me because I had a great time. And it would be completely rude of me to dwell on the few negatives of a very thoughtful week put together by my inlaws, whom I fell in love with all over again.

Also, I already did the snarky post two years ago.

Instead, I’d like to offer up the aspects of the weekend that I never thought I would have enjoyed but I did.

1. TGI Friday’s Microwavable Spinach, Cheese and Artichoke Dip. Can 800 million grams of fat be wrong?

2. A stranger squeezing Sage’s legs and cooing, “Oh, what a fat little baby you are! What a fat little baby!” Would this ever happen in New York City? And be intended as a compliment?

3. Bonding with my sister-in-law Lexi on the way too long car ride to Papa John’s pizza and back, necessary because it was somehow against company policy to deliver a pizza to an address simply known as “Mobile Home #8.”

4. Sitting on a deck in no makeup drinking bottles of Bud as the sun goes down. This is a much underrated summertime activity, although I could have done without the red ants.

5. An endless stream of forward rolls, with no fear of anyone hitting her legs on the bedroom wall.

6.Eating the finest McDonald’s biscuit in the history of McDonald’s biscuits. Carolina Beach McD’s? Bless you, for I have never in my life experienced such a perfect combination of bleached white flour and liquid margarine.

7. Stupid photo-ops

8. Chasing after the sanctigranny in the supermarket who yelled at Nate for flinging Thalia up in the air, just so I could say, “Excuse me? Did you have something to say to me?” Boy, she didn’t expect that. It was also fun to murmur under my breath, “I’ll accept parenting advice from you the day you get teeth.” You can take the Etiquette Bitch out of New York…

9. Taking a deep breath and accepting the fact that my daughters were going to be fed about 600 cookies a day by their cousins and their aunts and that it wouldn’t kill them. Or me.

10. Seeing Thalia fall in love with another grandpa, just as she did two years ago.

11. And another set of cousins.

12. Letting Sage poop out in nature, as it should be. Sort of.


28 thoughts on “True Tales from Mobile Home 8”

  1. Doesn’t matter where you are as long as you’re with the ones you love. I spend too much time in Alabama not to have learned that one.

  2. Endless forward rolls – awesome. Every kid should get to do that until they are sick and dizzy! And then do it again.

  3. A little trailer parkin’ is good for the soul (and 800 million grams of fat can never be wrong when prefaced with the initials TGIF – now I want to do some cross border binging).

  4. The best vacations are the unexpected ones. Also, you’ve been < HREF="" REL="nofollow">invited to dinner<> at my place. No need to bring anything, just yourself.Please excuse the mess. And also the stupid, really annoying and embarrassing typo in the URL. I hate that I put you’re when I meant your. And of course, I had already sent the link out so if I fixed it, the other places I put it wouldn’t work. Am grammar nazi enough to care but not enough to catch it in the first place.Can you tell it bothers me?

  5. This is how we vacationed growing up, except it was on a lake in Michigan or Indiana and I got reacquainted with my 7 siblings. (All much older and in and out of the house all the time.)

  6. Usually I’m strictly anti-anti snarky posts about visits with family from “the other side,” but I will have to suspend my preferences in this case, because those pictured (and your eloquent words) were downright charming.

  7. Sounds great. We’re about to pack everyone up and take a five hour drive to all stay in one room for a week. I’m very much looking forward to it and I’m also quite scared.

  8. Fantastic!Sounds like a great vacation. Btw- did you know the 800 million grams of fat do not count because the dip is a well balanced meal…artichoke and spinach= seving of veggies, cheese= serving of dairy and protein, plus the vehicle of transporting the dip to your mouth hole was prob a cracker or something- that equals grain…see well balanced and besides vaca calories and fat grams do not count!

  9. I’m sitting here laughing hysterically imagining a stranger squeezing my chubby thighs and telling my husband I have adorable fat thighs! I think a swift kick might be in order.

  10. I love how most of these items feature food, somehow. It's the mark of a great holiday! My 800 grams of fat come from chips & dip, though. Mmm.

  11. I don’t know…maybe it’s my faux southern (Florida) upbringing but it all sounds kind of fun. Well, except for the toothless sanctigranny…

  12. I’m glad you enjoyed your vacation at Carolina Beach. That’s where my family likes to go for vacations. We kind of like the kitschy (some say white-trashy-ness) of it since it provides a no pressure environment so we can really relax. Did you make sure to enjoy some Britt’s Donuts while there?

  13. Carolina Beach, NC = LOVE. As a North Carolina native, I can say that with confidence. All of the quaint beachtown charm, none of the senior week hooligans.Did I just write hooligans? Old.Oh, and your girls are adorable! But you knew that.Oh, and fat babies are ALL the rage down here. They ARE the new black. I have my own, so I know.

  14. So you have a southern connection! Ha..I had no idea! My sis lived in Bloomfield, NJ (near Montclair) up until this spring and the stories of the difference between there and here – NIGHT-DAY! Thank GOD we were both from WI and could qualify!

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