Home and in love

I’ve just returned home after a week-long business trip in Prague (yes, again) with the intent of posting this magnificent essay about the city. Or the great people I met. Or the awesome differences between shooting commercials in LA and shooting commercials where pickled kielbasa passes for craft service.

As it turns out, all I wanted to do is be with my kids.

The entire trip, I kept explaining that fierce longing to my younger colleagues: It’s like being in love every day of your life.

I couldn’t enter a shop without thinking what my girls would want from there. I couldn’t enter a park without wondering what tree they would love best. I couldn’t look at a menu without thinking oh God, what would they eat if they were here? Would they even try the chicken schnitzel? Could I pass it off as a Czech chicken nugget?

When I walked through door last night and Thalia and Sage threw themselves into my arms, covering me in kisses and refusing to let go, I realized, the in love part is what’s hard to describe to people without children who say they don’t want kids because…ew, diapers.

Being in love makes us do crazy thing. Like not caring about the diapers. Or wanting to come home early from the most beautiful European city. Or putting off the Real Housewives finale (don’t spoil it!) and instead pushing through the jet lag as best you can to read the next chapter of Ozma of Oz out loud.

Only then do you feel whole again.


18 thoughts on “Home and in love”

  1. Beautifully said. It is hard to communicate that deep love and joy that our children give to us. And let’s face it, it’s not wholly rational, that feeling, the decision to have kids. I know many child-free couples, and one trait they have is an innate practicality, a very level headed approach to the world. For all that having children is, practical isn’t exactly close to the top! 🙂

  2. Well said! DH and I were just talking about that yesterday. We just love them so much. We can’t find a way to express it in completeness.

  3. I totally know what you mean. Yes. And since I’m leaving in a few days for San Diego, this made me really teary-eyed. I’ve only done two nights max away from my children. And I did okay. And they did okay. But like you said, our thoughts are always with our children, and I, like you, think about them comstantly. Sigh. It is awesome, being so in love every single day…. 🙂

    1. Don’t even remind me that I’m about to leave…again.
      Being with kindred spirits definitely helps.

  4. It is absolutely the best feeling. Until you see the RHONY reunion show, that is. Then it’s neck and neck.

    1. It’s true. And I just ran into a real housewife in Brooklyn. So I think the universe is sending me a sign.

  5. Well, Dorothy was right you know… there really is no place like home. 😉

    I can feel your heart in this post. Just lovely.

  6. I know people just absolutely LOVE it when you compare children and pets…but there aren’t many other hairy, flea-ridden beings that I would see sleeping on my 1000 thread count sheets and say “Awwwww how cute.” It’s all about the love.

    1. I still remember having that same queasy feeling on airplanes after long trips, anxiously waiting a reunion with my cat. I get it, Suebob. (Just don’t call them your “fur babies.”)

  7. There is nothing better than the love you describe above. I was just away in June for 3 nights and it hurt to be gone that long–while I managed to have a fabulous trip–every where I went, I thought of my kids and what they would like/have/do.

    It is indescribable that love between parent and child. Enjoy them before heading out to BlogHer.

  8. I went to Walmart tonight… was gone 2 HOURS…and they heard me say hi to my husband as I walked in the house….and from the opposite side of our home….they screamed “MOM!” and ran down the stairs and into my knees at a full sprint. There’s just nothing better.

    Of course, then they were pawing all over the bags, harrasking (my new favorite term – harrass & ask – smushed together) me about every item in the bags…and wanting to know what I bought them. So I shooed them out of the kitchen until dinner. Little vultures….

    Good thing they are so stinkin’ cute!

  9. I’m not surprised that you would figure out how to describe the feeling… “The entire trip, I kept explaining that fierce longing to my younger colleagues: It’s like being in love every day of your life.”
    It really is. So perfectly said. I actually remember feeling that way pre-kids when I went to London for 10 days and I really really missed my dog.

  10. Beautiful. I myself spent years wishing for time alone, then got one weekend at home without my kid, and while sitting on a lovely beach realized I had no interest in sunning or reading trashy magazines or relaxing, I just wanted to be with my kid. Crazy, indeed.

  11. Beautifully put. That’s it, right there.

    My two left with my one yesterday morning (we’ll rejoin at the end of the week and the other side of the state), and I’m alone in a house I’m not even sure how to navigate without their sound (or knowing they’re asleep in their beds).

    I totally know what you’re talking about. Crazy love is the only way to describe it.

    1. Oh Polly, I think it’s even harder when they’re gone and I’m the one who’s gone. It’s like your entire universe is missing a limb.

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