Questions Answered

First of all, thank you thank you THANK YOU for the outpouring of support. I’m just so touched at the idea that so many people who don’t even know me seem truly, genuinely happy for me and my huge boobs. It’s a very cool thing.

Okay enough with that. Onto the questions.

How many months are you?
Months? Months? Pregnant women don’t know how to count in months. We count in weeks. Actually, to call it counting is a bit of an exaggeration. It’s more like remembering the number on the top of the Babycenter weekly email reading something like “Your Pregnancy: 11 weeks.”

So that’s the answer. 11 weeks tomorrow. I’m officially due May 5 which is my grandmother’s birthday. I’m only worried about having two Tauruses in the house. Eek.

Did you just find out?
Hell no. In fact, it was the day we left for a week in Maine, about five minutes after I posted this totally unrelated thing. My bags were packed, and I peed on a stick as we were walking out the door. Nate asked whether I was sure I didn’t want to wait to know until after the trip so I could “enjoy myself.” But since not knowing about a pregnancy doesn’t make one any less pregnant, pee stick it was.

We hugged. We cried. And then I spent the rest of the car ride slackjawed and freaking out entirely, jotting down insane panicky journal entries that I’ll post at a later date.

Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I thought you were my friend!
I cannot keep a secret to save my life. Other people’s secrets, no problem. But my own? Pffffft. Not a chance. It’s not a coincidence that a big yapper also keeps a blog. So you can blame Nate for this one; it was his insistence that I hold off. He said, “I just think we should tell everyone in our lives first and make sure everything’s okay before you go posting it in a public forum where it can be read by guys in Thailand googling for photos of moms doing stuff with their sons.” So I figured, what the heck. More than likely the kid is his, so I may as well give him some say in the matter.

I’m relieved to finally be able to come out with this. To commiserate with all the other preggos out there in blog land. Hey, you just puked? I just puked too! No way, I’m ALSO planning on firebombing the home of the designer who brought back skinny jeans this fall! Maybe we can do it together, and afterwards we’ll drink some sparkling cider and pop some ginger pills.

How did you know?
It wasn’t the boobs, it was the sex dreams. The crazy, vivid sex dreams. As I recall there was Bill Clinton, Bobby Flay, Jon Stewart, several ex boyfriends (although not together. Ew.) a guy wearing a Stormtrooper mask, and Jennster.

Are you still moving to LA?
Yes. I mean, probably. No, yes. Definitely. I think. Maybe.

Is this the thing that you were stressed about a couple weeks ago?
Yes and no. Let’s save that for next week.

Are those really your boobs?
Yes, and they are indeed bigger than they were before, Mir, meaning I’ve gone from a 34DD to a 34OhMyF*kingGodPutThoseThingsAwayYou’reScaringTheChildren.

On the positive side, they don’t hurt a bit. I think they’re just so stretched out from the first pregnancy, that I’ve lost all sensation entirely. It’s like, go ahead and have your way with them, Nate. I’ll just be here doing the crossword puzzle.

How are you feeling?
Pukey, thanks. How are you?

Did you really get your OB to give you the thumbs up while you were lying on the table?
Not only that, I gave her my blog address so she could see the picture online. Even big fancy New York City obstetricians cannot resist the allure of 15 minutes of blog fame.

Does this mean you’re now going to be called Mom-201?
Lord, no.

I have not graduated, let me be clear about that. I definitely still feel like a Freshman, only now taking an overload of courses. No more keggers for me on Saturday nights.


62 thoughts on “Questions Answered”

  1. Hey, congrats on #2! Yes, the sex dreams. I remember those and I thought, I MUST be pregnant. They were <>insane<>. That and the boobs.

  2. I swear to god something happened at Blogher. It must have been hanging out with all those lovely fertile women. I’m at 12 weeks so while your fetus is the size of a fig, mine is as big as a lime. Thanks Babycenter!Again, so happy for you.

  3. Believe me, you will earn that “101” even more with your second. You think you’ll be more confident but you may be like me and look at that new little baby thinking, “now what the heck do I do?” It’s like some sort of amnesia sets in and you have to relearn everything. I’m so excited for you! And jealous! Do you know I went from a 34A to a 36A in three pregnancies? WTF?!?!? My boobs didn’t get bigger, just my ribcage. Anyone who can identify their bra size in letters higher than “D” earn my awe. Hugs to all of you (except for Des who would bite me).

  4. I was the queen of the babycenter newsletter. In fact I think I still get it. It’s just not as interesting when it talks about “Your 25 month old”…I already know how he’s developing. But when he was teeny tiny…that letter saved my ass many times!Congrats again!

  5. So nice. My, there really was something going on at BlogHer. I’m going to go ahead and assume that Kristen and I looking oh-so-lovely was inspirational to others.Many congratulations to all of you. As this is the first time I’m giving birth outside of NY, I can commiserate with you on the moving thing. I really dislike having people stay with me and invade my space, so it was MUCH easier planning when I knew I could call “Mommy, Big Sister, etc.” to come and help me out and then leave 🙂 Think hard love.

  6. So the kids will be 21 or 22 months apart? That’s hysterical. Really, because my kids are 22 months apart and I know SO MANY other moms whose kids are 22 months apart. I think we get to the year mark and think, “Wow, this parenting thing is so easy. We should have another one.” Then we get knocked up before they turn into terrible little annoying creatures. You know, before it’s too late to turn back!Anyway, congrats again. Two kids are great, even if on occasion you do have to say to your significant other, “If you love me, you won’t make me feel bad about this. But I have to leave right now. I’ll be back before bedtime.” <>(True story.)<>

  7. shit…i had a jon stewart dream just last week (and a wonderful mcdreamy dream last night). i hope i’m not pregnant…

  8. i’ll be vicariously pregnant through you.i’m in “chemo-pause” + hope to be fertile again + grow a person in my tummy too!

  9. It’s just that I was so astounded by your boobs at BlogHer, they remain huge in my memory. Anyway, as always—nice rack! 😉

  10. I got a little overzealous and signed up for a bunch of pregnancy newsletters and now my in-box is absolutely clogged with them. But it’s still fun! I just can’t help myself. I’m working on baby #1, so it’s all still a mystery to me.

  11. I’m totally getting gypped on these pregnancy sex dreams. OK, I had one where I was making out with a friend of mine, but that was brief and I got none of the Big Finish that people talk about that.Besides that, the closest I’ve come was a dream that Mr. T was chasing me, naked. I don’t know, nor do I want to know, what that means.

  12. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! A little late with the well wishes, but sending the sentiment just the same! 😉Carrie

  13. oh crap. just two nights ago i had a dream about mcdreamy and a hot guy at work.well, i guess if i’m preggers, i’m in good company, and if i’m not, i’m going back to sleep.congratulations again.

  14. Ooo, you’re due three days before me – what fun!!But oh my god, it must have been torture not to tell anyone!! I peed on the stick at 6:30 in the morning on Labour Day and I think the post was up by 9:00 am!Congratulations!

  15. I had the No Boob Tenderness thing this time, too. What’s up with that?Congrats many times over. Hope the pukey goes away soon.

  16. Umm…I have been having some crazy sex dreams with ex boyfriends and stars I am embarassed to admit … I had no idea that was a pregnancy indicator. Ack!I am a self-confesssed blabber mouth too (about my own secrets not others) and it almost killed me to wait 3 months to spill the news about my pregnancy. I ended up telling loads of strangers just to get it out of my system (grocery store clerks, parking garage attendants, etc etc).Congrats again!!!!

  17. I challenge you to get through this pregnancy knowing how many weeks you are at every stage. Getting pg with #2 was when I finally understood why people ask, “How many months along are you?” I could never remember the weeks—I had a toddler to chase after. People would ask how many months pregnant I was, and I would say, “Um…Five? Six, maybe?…Uh…I’m due in September.” Sometimes, I would even (gasp!) forget I was pregnant. Something, completely unimaginable with #1.

  18. Does this mean we can start offering (ridiculous) name suggestions now? Just say the word. No, I can’t wait for the word…I know it is a bit early to know if it is another girl, but just in case – I am partial to “Baleen”. Ideally you’d have twins, Lurleen and Baleen, but this is not required. Or Fanny. I had a great Aunt Fanny, and I think it is high time that we bring that one back. A trend-setter like you is just the one to make it happen.

  19. i better have been doing something dirty and whorish in your dream, or else! I HEART YOU!!!!! 🙂 and congrats again, and this is so fun- because it’s you and not me. and and and…let’s make out.

  20. Holy shit on a pee-stick – ten zillion congratulation comments! And I missed it, being all caught up in my shit.But I got in early, so you already know that I heart you and your growing family and that I’m wishing you godspeed through the trials of pregnancy to the arrival of This New Child.

  21. Perhaps you could just move up to Mom-102… still a Freshman, but with just enough experience and knowledge so that the Professor doesn’t treat you like a complete moron. Congratulations!

  22. I’m so excited for you! Reading this has atually made me think, for the very first time, hmm, having a second one would be nice…quick! Tell me about morning sickness! SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!!!!

  23. With such a great take on impending parenthood again, and a pregnancy (funny how they go together sometimes), you may just make me want another. Or not. 😉Mazel tov Liz, Nate, Thalia and family!

  24. My laptop has a freezing disease right now and crashed while I was posting a congratulations. So, here goes again…CONGRATULATIONS!Also, your sex dreams sound pretty good compared to the bizarro one I had the other night about (gulp) Bill Gates. (hangs head in shame and damns hormones)

  25. I know what you mean about those Tauruses. I seem to be surrounded by them. Some of them, of my own free will, somehow.Congrats again, and I hope the pukey feelings go away soon.Where have all these newborn babies come from? I’m surrounded by them online and in real life!

  26. Having two doesn’t make you feel like you know more, but definitely care less (about the little crazy/scary things – not the kids themselves!!). Happy for you.

  27. i knew there was something else i wanted to say… boyfriend’s bf is may 5th. cinco freaking de mayo. taurus. stubborn and bullheaded. lol

  28. I’m totally missing out on the sex dreams this time, and I feel cheated. All the negative side effects, and none of the good ones. This kid is already on my nerves.Yeah, we’ve got our own little pregnant club in the blogworld, eh? And think of all the new babies at BlogHer next year!Taurus wouldn’t be so bad. Mine will either be a Taurus or a Gemini, or (gasp) a Taurus/Gemini cusp. Eeek!

  29. Let me be the first to make a ridiculous name suggestion – met someone who had a kid named Zion Extreme [Lastname]. I totally think that no matter the sex of your little one, the name works. (and no I can’t make that crap up) Congratulations and hope the pukey stage is over soon.

  30. I had totally forgotten about the sex dreams (unfortunately they started for me when I was staying with my in-laws without husband). I hope you are past the <>morning<> sickness soon. And again, CONGRATULATIONS!

  31. ROFL!!!!!!!!!! You are too freakin’ funny…I’m definitely keeping up with your posts during pregnancy!

  32. Oh, the days of feeling pukey. Morning sickness my ass; try 11am-until-bedtime-sickness. And if anyone came NEAR me with a fucking Saltine, within a few minutes they would be dialing a surgeon to remove it from their own ass. I feel for you. I do. I really do.But what joy. Eventually.

  33. CRAP.Wait a sec. I have sex dreams about Goran Visnjic and Andy Garcia and this guy I used to work with and some guy I don’t even KNOW and – CRAP.Where are my car keys… where’s the closest 24 hour pharmacy… CRAP…..Well at least I was already planning an assault on the mysoginistic sonofabitch who decided THIS was the time to bring back Skinny Jeans…

  34. The skinny jeans are an equal-opportunity offender – everybody looks terrible in them (except HBM). But you have to admit that the longer shirts are a fashion advantage right now. When I was 11 weeks into my second pregnancy I was wearing maternity clothes already because none of my regular shirts would cover the bursting zippers of my extra-fat pants. That was less than two years ago, but I bet I could have made it another month in the longer shirts they’re selling now.

  35. Liz!!!! Congratulations! I’m sorry I’m so late, stupid Bloglines. There are so many pregnant bloggers! Shoot, will you still come to Blogher with your two month old babies? PLEASE?And now, I’m off to bed, do you mind if I have a sex dream about you making out with Jennster? Thanks! LOLOLOLOL

  36. Oh, sorry, when I wrote “you”, I meant all the women who are pregnant. It looked like I was saying YOU would have babieS plural-which is not what I meant!

  37. man, i have sex dreams normally – at least two or three a week. i wonder what kind of crazy shiznit i’m in for when i get pregnant?and i hear you about keeping your own secrets. i had to keep my engagement a secret for months while waiting for the ring to be custom-made and delivered. it was not cool.

  38. So that’s why you were posting about having kids so close together. Hmmmm! Glad you decided to take the plunge. Was it planned or a surprise. Good luck with the pukiness.

  39. AAAAHHHH! Congratulations! And I don’t know how you can do so many things at once and still come here and be funny. I couldn’t even move and blog at the same time…And the sex dreams… my only fond memory of pregnancy. 😉Best wishes for a healthy mom and baby.

  40. Congrats again – wanted to comment about your possible move to LA while you are like, 10 mths prego? (I think you said you were considering it in the spring?) Been there, done that. Moved 3,000 miles while 35 weeks pregnant. Not a job for slackers!

  41. I’m so thrilled for you, babies make giddy friends out of virtual strangers. Mmmm…pregnant boobies. There are no sweeter words to a married man. And your fingernails are just perfect.

  42. We’re a two Taurus household. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but I hear you! At least you don’t have to deal with a heat wave in your third trimester this time.

  43. You’re pregnant, in the winter, in NYC. Maybe you need to rethink that whole “I hate UGGs” thing. Congratulations…

  44. Yay MommaDelighted to hear this news. I haven’t stopped by for some 101 action for ages and the day i do is the one where you tell us all this!Delighted for you all.What’s with all the prenant bitches by the way….Enough already! It must be something in the water!Stay away from me! My cup runneth over….

  45. oh hey, my kid’s a taurus too – may 11. stubborn but lovely. i’d take another of her anyday.

  46. Call me late to the party. i spent my day in the lovely triage of L&D puking on nurses and listening to my baby boy kick the fetal heart monitor. Luckily i was able to escapeCONGRATS!!!

  47. As usual, slow, but no less excited.And the fabulous breasts? Now extra Fabulous (But hey, I think – they weren’t in Montreal…)P.S. I will totally be driver for the fire bomb of the skinny jeans comeback person. For real.

  48. Looks like I’m late, again…OH SHIT…NO!…I meant, in wishing you and the hubs congrats on your new working-addition!Phew.Now, excuse me while I back-the-f-away for fear of catching and baby cooties.Some of us are sooo DONE, spawning ;o)[knocking on wood until fingers bleed!]

  49. Ooops, I meant:“…for fear of catching “any” baby cooties…”See, just thinking about being pregnant, AGAIN, makes my fingers swell and spasm like a nearly-dead worm on a hook!

  50. When I first read this post I thought you ladies must be crazy for having ‘celebrity’ sex dreams. Then 3 days ago I found out that I was pregnant myself and last night it was none other than Lance Armstrong!!! I swear it never happened when I was pregnant the first time 🙂 (I rejected his advances, of course, as I’m a happily married woman)

  51. Wow! Congratulations – a little late. I hope you sexy dreams, happy tummy and no stretch marks.

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