Just One of Those Weeks

You know those crazy nights where suddenly your friend Bethwhoknowseveryone calls, and the next thing you know you find yourself in a trendy Meatpacking District hotel room, drinking wine with eight women and Robin Givens, and trying not to look at the cameras?

You never feel quite so much like a
Cabbage Patch Kid as when you’re standing next to a size 0 celebrity
with cheekbones that could slice beef.

And the producers ply you with warm wine and brie and instruct the eight of you to dish about motherhood, and actually, you get to really like all the other women there with you as if this weren’t totally staged and bizarre? And then two days later you find yourself heading into the Montel show studios for a live taping to see just what scary things the producers did with your video?

Well, it’s no Tyra Banks Show

And then you’re in the green room (which is not green) eating some bad turkey sandwiches and run into mom entrepreneur Nina Restieri of MomAgenda who you’ve always really dug and is coincidentally on the show? And then you’re headed towards the audience when suddenly a producer snatches you away from your friends, crams a microphone pack down the back of your leggings and and tells you Montel might throw you a question and you freak that maybe this is all a set up and they’re going to hit you with a paternity test or something?

And then you sit back down to watch the taping in the front row center (with almost no makeup on because you weren’t expecting this), and then the very edited video of you and your new friends comes on and your one line is about Elmo Sex, in which you plop the kids down in front of Elmo, race into the bedroom for 15 minutes, then get the 2 minute warning when the theme music comes on?

No Elmo, it’s we who love YOU.

Nina missed her 15 minutes of trashy TV fame –
but gets 15 minutes of trashy blog fame instead

And then Montel actually does throw you a question and you sound like a total idiot because you’re caught off guard and aren’t about to divulge your family issues on a talk show anyway? And then the rest of the show downward spirals into boring stories featuring women willing to cry on stage because it’s more interesting to keep the trainwreck moms on and cut out the inspiring success stories of Nina and Elena?

And then you’re totally exhausted from smiling for three hours straight and go home and fall asleep during the first commercial break of Lost?

Yeah, it’s weird when that happens.

You know you’ve made it when…

(You can catch my disastrous TV appearance mid-March or so if you don’t have anything better to do like maybe wash your hair or sort pennies.)


Other cool people doing way cooler things, a.k.a. linkie love:

-Bobbie Sue who writes Blooming Yaya needs help with research about parentbloggers of preschool aged kids – help her out and take her survey?
-Blog buddy Devra is the featured expert on PBS Parents this month
Tony had the line of the night at NYC blogger drinks this week with “Scrappy Doo was the Yoko Ono of Saturday Morning cartoons.”
The Graco Blog gave my Sanctimommy post a nice nod (along with some other good ones) in their monthly fave blog post thingie. Supposedly it comes with a little prize and I’m hoping that it’s a free infant car seat and a time machine so I can go back and use it.
Vanessa Van Petten has a interesting blog about parenting advice from the teen POV (even though she’s now herself an old and decrepit 22) and is doing a little best mom blog contest and resource guide: You can even enter your own.

*Last and totally not least: Guy Kawasaki who is like the king of all things online (and was super nice when I met him for about 3 seconds at BlogHer) has come out with a very clean and fabulous mom blog aggregator at Alltop. It even lists the last five posts from each blogger so it’s easy to just click around and find fun things to read. Looooove that there is a famous techy sort who actually sees the value in what we do. Bookmarking, stat.


26 thoughts on “Just One of Those Weeks”

  1. Around here, it’s called ‘Backyardigans sex’, thank you very much ;).

  2. Wow! That totally happened to me last week, too. Oh, and then I woke up.You have the coolest life!Thanks for all the links. I’m excited to check them all out.

  3. Oh, yeah… that happens all the time to me! WTF?? How does that happen? You just rock, Liz. It sounds like a pretty cool week. I’m off to check out the links.

  4. Oh good gawd, never in a million years would something like that happen to me. Sounds like you had fun!

  5. Now that is the right kind of aggregator.I have been having a bit of a headache recently over one of the wrong kind.I heart Guy.And I’m sure you were Fabulous on Montel. I’ll have to catch it.

  6. Um, there ain’t no way I’m having “Backyardigan” sex. Sounds way too painful.Oh, but your week sounds cool. I’m covered in cupcake batter right now and it isn’t nearly as exciting as it sounds.

  7. And here I thought I was living the glamourous life when the local television station asked to interview me for the 11 o’clock news.Damn woman. You so know I’ll be glued to Montel in hopes of catching a glimpse of you and your fabulous smile…er boobs. Wink, wink.

  8. Oh, my god, your life is, like, TEN THOUSAND times more interesting than mine. No. Make that TEN BILLION times more interesting.Am so going to try to catch that show.

  9. -sigh- You live a life I can only dream about. 😉Can’t wait to see you on Montel. (If I can figure out what channel it’s on.)

  10. Hi it’s Nina from momAgenda. Thanks for the picture, I even have a little cleavage. Maybe I too will get to have Elmo sex this weekend…

  11. Thank you so much for the link!! At our house, we have Sponge Bob Sex. And, occasionally, some Strawberry Shortcake Sex. (Once, we had them both at the same time. hee-hee.)I can’t wait to see your Montel appearance!

  12. Was Wanda Sykes there? (I know it’s getting old, but I can’t resist when I see you and Beth in the same photo.) Looked fun!

  13. ditto to jerseygirl: where are all my friends with connections? thanks for the links – and for coining the term “elmo sex.” like “mommy jail,” i’m already wondering what i ever did without that phrase.

  14. sorry: you know, “mommy jail,” as in “you have to wear your seatbelt, sweetie, because if you don’t, they’ll put mommy in mommy jail, and we don’t want that, do we?”

  15. Damn, I have yet to be asked on a TV show. You’re famous, woman!Cool links, too. Thanks for the reminder to go pester Devra on PBS. Now, how does one go about getting on Guy’s list of mom bloggers? ‘Cause I so need to be up there.

  16. I had no idea this is how couples found the time to have sex. Because by the time the kids are in bed… you’re just too tired.You are a rock star.And so much more talented than Montel.

  17. Wait, back up a sec, the Meatpacking District is still trendy? It was trendy, like 7 years ago, which is about half a century in Manhattan neighbourhood time. Woah. You’d almost expect they’d be serving 50’s food like tuna casserole and green beans with frizzled onions.

  18. Oh crap, I totally want to see this…how can I know when to watch without suffering other episodes??? ACK! Guess I’d better check out the website or something.We saw Montel in DC once on a very hot and humid day. There was someone whose job it was to mop his head with a cool cloth. My (bald) BIL said, I want someone to follow me around like that! Thus far, no luck.

  19. Thank you so much for the shout out about our PBS Gig!!!BTW, I forwarded PBS the link to your blog so they could check out Elmo Sex. 😉C’mon over to PBS and pester Aviva and me. You know what they say about pestering, it’s not so bad when it’s not your own kids doing it!

  20. I know I’m a terrible lurker lately, but I had to come out of the woodwork and say that I saw you today, and you looked fabulous on camera. I only got to see the first 15 minutes of the show, but it was totally cool to look up and see you there – I didn’t know you were going to do that (I’m totally behind on my blog reading – all I do is nurse and sleep . . . and apparently catch 15 minutes of random talk shows every now and again). Anyway – congrats – I thought you did great!

  21. This very same thing happens to me like three times a week! Or never, I guess, but it would be fun if it did. But seriously, cracking up that Elmo sex is your part. I will definitely try to catch it!

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