50-100 calories an hour. Or about 4 calories in 3 minutes.

“Mommy, what were you doing with daddy?”

“We were cuddling, sweetie.”

“Yes, but why was daddy on top of you? And then you were on top of daddy?”

“Well, we were hugging. Just hugging and cuddling. Um…how long were you standing there anyway?”

“You were exercising mommy! Were you exercising with daddy?”

“That’s right Thalia, we were exercising. That’s exactly right.”



50 thoughts on “50-100 calories an hour. Or about 4 calories in 3 minutes.”

  1. We recently installed a lock on our door. However, it hasn’t stopped Moe from standing out side the door and yelling it “what you guys doing in there?”

  2. Wait until she tells all her friends that you are an exercise fiend! And all your friends, too! Hysterical.

  3. We had one close call and have been locking the door ever since. Nice recovery tho, seriously, I am impressed!

  4. When my husband was young, he asked his Dad why he was fixing the bed and how it got broken in the first place. His Dad answered, “Mom and I were wrestling.”

  5. it’s been too long since i got a good workout.(and i’m sure you all SO needed to know that too.)

  6. Heh. We escaped from the toddlers. But here’s a thought for all of you — teenagers. They live in your home, they know more and they stay up late and come and go much more at will. At least I feel they’d be far more scarred than I would.There, something new to worry about.

  7. We had that happen just recently, only the question was “Are you wrestling with Daddy?” When Daddy said yes, someone said “I wrestle too!” and tried to crawl into bed with us. It’s amazing how quickly you can find pants when you need to.

  8. In response to my inquiry my mom once explained to me that “making love” was when two people really loved each other and kissed and hugged and shared their love. I was satisfied with this answer. Fast forward a couple of weeks, my mom goes to her first back-to-school night (kindergarten). As soon as the teacher realizes who my mother is she exclaims “Well finally, Mrs. K, I’ve been dying to meet you! Amber tells us that you and your husband make love all over the kitchen every night!”

  9. Oy. And my big worry so far has been how to explain why it is okay for me to put a tampon in my own vagina but not okay for my girl to stick things in hers.

  10. Better you than me.And thank the good lord above for door locks, world without end, amen.

  11. Ha Ha. We’ve had this come up, except the toddler walks in and wants to get on the bed, too. Thank goodness he’s still easily distracted!

  12. Oh Amber! HiLARious!Fairly Oddmother – I will take that advice to heart.And Grey Matter? We were doing pushups. Clearly.

  13. Wrestling. Trust me on this one, go with wrestling. Even if she doesn’t know what it is yet, it will make her not think back and freak out one day when she learns what you were really doing. Least you weren’t in the kitchen wrestling when she saw you.

  14. Her future kindergarten teacher will hear ALL ABOUT THIS! Trust me, I’m a teacher, I know things parents never want anyone to know!

  15. Well I was going to tell you about teenagers… but Jen has already said it all. Try getting any sweet loving with teenagers around!Cherie

  16. Oh yes, we have had this conversation. Except my stepson said “why was Daddy spanking you Mimmy?” We were trying so hard not to laugh that we couldn’t even say anything. I said “no, he wasn’t spanking me, he was putting rash cream on my bum.” Yeah, I am not the best at thinking on my feet!

  17. I will never forget us looking up and realizing 4 y.o. is watching most perturbed. “Will you knock it off, Daddy? You’re hurting her!” Oh sweet jesus, she’ll be driving her car one day, have a flashback of that memory and drive straight into a tree.

  18. I live in fear of this happening at our house. Thanks for letting me know it would be alright if it did……… I guess.p.s. found your blog because I saw you in the latest issue of Parents. How cool!

  19. Heh heh heh heh heh.At least…Uh, you know what? I’m not even going to finish that sentence.But there’s s great joke about a kid walking in on mommy “jewelry shopping” I’ll tell you sometime.

  20. About once a month I read or hear about a walking-in-on story, either from the traumatized child or the traumatized parent, and EVERY TIME I thank everything and everyone I can thank that that has never happened to me, in either role. Phew. Thank god.

  21. damn, woman! you got so lucky!when emily “caught” us the first time, she was all “daddy, you need to tell mommy to put some pants on!” i couldn’t look at her for days!

  22. My 4 year-old caught us in the act and asked what we were doing. I said just wrestling. And he said, “Do it again so I can watch.” I about died.

  23. Oh no. Time to start locking the door I guess?(We haven’t been caught yet. I know it will happen eventually, though.)

  24. My mother just had my Gramma watch me whenever they were trying to give me siblings… *shrugs* Hopefully I’ll live near enough to relatives or friends who’ll watch the little fiends when we’re trying to make more of them…

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