Thalia had a free writing assignment last week in school and decided to write a “persuasion piece” about why her very pregnant teacher should reveal the baby’s name to the class before he is born. Since I know this is a such a hand-wringing decision for so many parents-to-be, I’m offering up her very persuasive tips with the hope they’ll be of some help.
Reasons we should know the baby’s name:
1. So we can spell the name correctly on the card.
2. If you forget we will remember.
3. So I can sew a shirt with his name and it will be his first shirt.
4. So we can warn you if it’s a terrible name. (Here are some reasons it can be terrible)
-If it’s a bad word
-If his name’s Justin Beiber [sic]
-If it’s named after a food
Now that I bet you’re persuaded you should tell us the baby’s name.
THE END
(or is it)
Having had my own babies–twice–I personally think #2 is a very, very sound reason.
This was absolutely delicious. I imagine that it must be pretty special to be around so many adoring little people as you go through a pregnancy. Also, you know, really, really hard, but funny and endearing mostly.
#2 is solid, #3 made me tear up.
Ha! Excellent reasons. I have to know if her teacher relented.
You know, I would ordinarily quibble with #4, but I know she has at least one prescient on her side: I know a kid who, upon hearing his unborn brother’s intended name, promptly informed his parents that his bro’s initials would be “ASS.”
I thank goodness every day for kids who are smarter than I am. I’m sure that kid’s family feels the same.
Well I’m convinced. The adorableness factor won me over.
If you don’t send this to Tiny Fey, I will! The kid will be a writer on SNL in 10 years. You heard it here first!
This is stinking cute.
I’m trying to think of a case when it’s *not a bad idea to name your child after a food. And then I thought, gosh, food-based names really just opens up a whole new layer of possibilities for hipster parents who are running out of other ideas, doesn’t it? I’m not talking about pedestrian, obvious choices like “Apple.” I’m saying, what about a baby named Ziti? Or Chilaquiles? Or Tartine?
I like Tartine. It sounds like Fantine. Which is like Fanta + Tartine, which my kids would surely enjoy.
That is AWESOME. Thalia is AWESOME! (yes, caps required because of awesomeness)
Oh, I hope it’s not the end because Thalia needs a Top Ten list.
Be careful what you offer her…
And now I will turn my computer off for the night, because anything else I see online tonight will surely disappoint. This is too cute.
On the first day of class we all had to make a “tent” with our name on it. One of my fellow students in the class wrote “Quiche.” The two native French speakers in the class expressed their interest in her name. She responded, “It is pronounced Keisha. I HATE it when people call me quiche.” She then pointed to where she had written in parenthesis “Keisha” No one knew what to do. Telling the French that they are mispronouncing their own food was not fantastique and did not go over well.
That is the best story Devra! I think we could all offer misspelled name stories these days but that might be the best.
My mother once taught a girl named Jennifuh because that’s how her mother thought it was spelled when she put it on the birth certificate.
That is adorable and hilarious! I like the way her mind works.
I think this is my favorite post. Ever. And that may be the cutest thing I ever read. THE END (or is it).
She is awesome. Though she does realize that sage is also a spice, yes? : )
Given the name of my last-born, I am SO GLAD we kept it a secret. Oy, I can just imagine the grief my mother would’ve given me if we’d told her ahead of time.
Ha, good point!
I think it comes from Thalia’s original suggestion as a toddler that we name her yet-to-be-born sister, Apple.
Because you know, we couldn’t agree on a name.
Liz, I loved every line of this letter, I don’t know where to start! Literally chuckled out loud. I think she should have shown her letter to Gwenyth Paltrow.
You know what I love about these kinds of letters (my kids aren’t old enough to write these but I’ve written and saved plenty of my own lol) is the *seriousness* of it. I remember being dead serious when I’d write all my stuff, from ads to stories to workbooks and letters. It’s not like she was trying to be funny. “Or is it?” Oh, man… too funny.
And how awesome is it that she decided to turn an assignment right back at the teacher? I hope her teacher got a nice chuckle out of it, too.
Oh, she was definitely trying to be funny. But maybe not in the way she realized. And yes, I assume her teacher has a good sense of humor–though so far she’s not convinced. I wonder if that effects Thala’s grade? Ha.
As a very pregnant second grade teacher, who just wrapped up a unit on persuasive letter writing, I’m very impressed! I just might have to share Thalia’s letter with my class, and I might just have to reveal our baby’s name. My students are going to love this!
That’s the nicest thing ever, Gena. Thank you! I told her that and she just beamed.
Good luck with your baby…whatever the name.
A food or Justin Bieber. Hahahahahaa. Oh I love her reasons.
“If his name’s Justin Bieber.” You know, just in case that one was on the table. Love her sense of humor!